Men and women do friendship differently. Maybe it's time for that to change.

Remember that book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? It felt like it was everywhere. And it kind of was.

The book was on The New York Times bestseller list for more than two years. And while it's viewed with a skeptical eye by many experts who say the book reinforces gender stereotypes, the whole idea that men and women are inherently different clearly resonates with many folks.


Image via JohnGrayMarsVenus/YouTube.

While it might feel like gender differences can make us aliens to each other, there are some clear things we all have in common as humans. Like the need for friendship.

Recent studies show that gender differences even influence the way that we form and sustain friendships.

According to a study published in PLoS One, female friendships are more emotionally intimate, and bonding time is more "face-to-face."

Sometimes literally. Photo by Ben Kerckx/Pixabay.

In the study,researchers found that women prefer to foster friendships one-on-one through conversation, which creates a lot of opportunity to get close. All that talking about thoughts, feelings, and other mushy stuff really builds up intimacy.

On the other hand, male friendships tend to be more activity-focused and shoulder-to-shoulder instead of face-to-face.

Wow. Much friendship. So bonding. Very manly. Photo by SplitShire/Pixabay.

The stereotype of men bonding through watching Monday Night Football on the living room couch sippin' a beer is rooted in some truth. When comparing friendship intimacy levels in men and women, a UCLA study found "men were more likely to prefer doing some activity with friends, were more likely to engage in activities with their best friend, and were more likely to talk to their best friend about activities. Women's friendships appeared oriented toward personal sharing of information; men's friendships showed an emphasis on joint activities."

The problem is that the kind of bonding that happens while watching a flatscreen doesn't establish the same kind of intimacy as a one-on-one gab session over a bottle of wine.

The result? Men tend to rely heavily on romantic relationships for that super-close feeling of connection.

GIF via "Community."

There's nothing wrong with having expectations that your romantic partner would fulfill your real, human need for intimacy. The problem is that men tend to get the message from society that they can only have a close emotional relationship with their romantic parters. This makes men prioritize romance in a way that many don't; a 2013 Citibank and LinkedIn survey found that 79% of men would need "a strong, loving marriage" to feel they were "having it all" while 66% of women felt the same.

That ends up putting a whole lot of pressure on romantic relationships to fulfill their need for emotional intimacy. That means that when a breakup happens, men without these strong, intimate friendships tend to feel more alone and isolated.

Since the way women often form their platonic friendships places less pressure on getting their connection needs met from one romantic relationship, the feelings of isolation from a breakup are usually less extreme.

With more Americans than ever staying single for longer periods of time, that means more people are at risk of feeling isolated from their communities — especially after a breakup.

For the first time, there are more single than married adults in the U.S. It's great that people aren't feeling the same pressure to marry as they used to, but the rest of the our societal norms around friendship love and connection need to catch up.

It's time we change how we view male friendships. That means no more "bromance" jokes.

I mean, when you think about it, it's a little weird that we have a different label for close male one-on-one friendships. And notice that the word choice likens their close bond to a romantic one. We don't have a comparable term for female friendships, so why should we for men?

Let's normalize close, one-on-one friendship for men and boys.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of the stereotype that masculinity means holding back your feelings, unless it's with your partner. Great friendships aren't just fun; they're good for your health. We all deserve health and happiness that we can enjoy — together.

GIF via "Glee."

via KrustyKhajiit / YouTube

Thomas F. Wilson played one of the most recognizable villains in film history, Biff Tannen, in the "Back to the Future" series. So, understandably, he gets recognized wherever he goes for the iconic role.

The attention must be nice, but it has to get exhausting answering the same questions day in and day out about the films. So Wilson created a card that he carries with him to hand out to people that answers all the questions he gets asked on a daily basis.

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The COVID-19 pandemic has disproportionately affected diverse communities due largely in part to social factors such as inadequate access to housing, income, dietary options, education and employment — all of which have been shown to affect people's physical health.

Recognizing that inequity, Harlem-based chef JJ Johnson sought out to help his community maximize its health during the pandemic — one grain at a time.

Johnson manages FIELDTRIP, a health-focused restaurant that strives to bring people together through the celebration of rice, a grain found in cuisines of countless cultures.

"It was very important for me to show the world that places like Harlem want access to more health-conscious foods," Johnson said. "The people who live in Harlem should have the option to eat fresh, locally farmed and delicious food that other communities have access to."

Lack of education and access to those healthy food options is a primary driver of why 31% of adults in Harlem are struggling with obesity — the highest rate of any neighborhood in New York City and 7% higher than the average adult obesity rate across the five boroughs.

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Sometimes a politician says or does something so brazenly gross that you have to do a double take to make sure it really happened. Take, for instance, this tweet from Lauren Witzke, a GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate from Delaware. Witzke defeated the party's endorsed candidate to win the primary, has been photographed in a QAnon t-shirt, supports the conspiracy theory that 9/11 was a U.S. government inside operation, and has called herself a flat earther.

So that's neat.

Witzke has also proposed a 10-year total halt on immigration to the U.S., which is absurd on its face, but makes sense when you see what she believes about immigrants. In a tweet this week, Witzke wrote, "Most third-world migrants can not assimilate into civil societies. Prove me wrong."

First, let's talk about how "civil societies" and developing nations are not different things, and to imply that they are is racist, xenophobic, and wrong. Not to mention, it has never been a thing to refer people using terms like "third-world." That's a somewhat outdated term for developing nations, and it was never an adjective to describe people from those nations even when it was in use.

Next, let's see how Twitter thwapped Lauren Witzke straight into the 21st century by proving her wrong in the most delicious way. Not only did people share how they or their relatives and friends have successfully "assimilated," but many showed that they went way, way beyond that.

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via WatchMojo / YouTube

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