Inevitably, someone will say, 'But my juice cleanse WORKED.' No, it really didn't.
Health fads are nothing new to modern civilization. Collectively, we want so badly to look our best and live forever that we do things that make absolutely no sense (like drink bottles of radioactive water). Thankfully, as medical science advances, we have better and better means to test whether the newest health craze is healthy or just crazy.
Here are five reasons detoxes should make you incredibly skeptical.
1. They are really (really) expensive.
A quick search for cleanse or detox on Google shopping will present you with pages and pages of expensive pills, powders, juices, sprays, patches, creams, and even machines that purport to somehow make you much healthier in a very short period of time.
If they cost all that and actually did all the things they claim to do, maybe there would be no cause for complaint. However...
2. They promise vague benefits and are even more vague about how those benefits are produced.
These products often talk about the dangerous "toxins," "metals," or "chemicals" being stored in the human body. But the particular compound that the product is supposed to fight is almost never specified. Scientific studies of detox products do them no favors, which is why you won't be hearing them cite any peer-reviewed studies.
3. They're often advocated by people who have no expertise in the mechanics of the human body.
It's almost shocking how much money these ordinary-person-turned-health-entrepreneurs can make by starting a food trend — even if that trend has no basis in medical science. They advocate plausible-ish solutions for issues like pain, unwanted weight (especially this one), or fatigue. But the lightest scrutiny often shows them to be largely ineffective.
4. They can be really dangerous.
When it comes to nutrition, juice cleanses are bad news. By restricting your diet to juices, you're flooding your system with fructose (the type of sugar in fruits that makes them taste sweet) while virtually eliminating your protein intake. There's nothing healthy about a high sugar/no protein diet.
Doctors have been waving red flags about colon cleanses and colonics for years. But people are still doing them despite warnings of potential cramping, bloating, bowel perforation, and kidney problems, among other issues.
And because so few of the people who advocate for these regimens are trained medical professionals, they might be advocating for routines that could cause irreparable damage (like this woman in the UK whose "nutritionist" told her to drink so much water that she suffered brain damage from hyponatremia).
5. They have no science to back them up. Like, none.
Eight questions to ask before starting a "detox" or "cleanse":
- Have I talked to my doctor about the health issue I'm trying to address?
- Have I talked to my doctor about the regimen I'm considering, including its efficacy and side effects?
- What specific health benefit am I supposed to get from this regimen?
- By what specific method does this regimen deliver this benefit?
- Is the person or persons responsible for developing this regimen qualified to do so?
- What body of evidence supports this method of health improvement?
- Has this regimen's health effects been independently studied and replicated?
- Has this regimen's claims been debunked by a credible source?



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
At least it wasn't Bubbles.
You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. 


An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.