He's into both dudes and chicks. So when he said he'd answer their questions, he got a ton of them.
There were a bunch of them and they were all great, but I'm going to highlight my faves as a fellow bisexual.
"Since you grew up in the church, did you ever dislike yourself for being bi or try to make your feelings for men or boys go away?"
Abso-freaking-lutely. I'd say that was one of my biggest obstacles for coming out or even accepting myself. Like I said, the church teaches you that you have a choice. And I kind of did in a way.
So of course I tried to force myself to make the "right choice" and I had myself pretty convinced that I could do that. Until one day I met my soul mate and he turned out to be a guy. Plot twist!
It's not surprising that he had that experience in church, even though serious study doesn't lead you to the conclusion that gay people shouldn't exist.
"What do you think about [people who are only attracted to one gender] refusing to date anyone who identifies as bi?"
I think it says more about them than it does about us. ... If you're so repulsed by that idea that you can't bring yourself to keep seeing that person, then that's not their fault. Chances are you're about to let someone really special go just because you can't wrap your mind around their sexuality.
He kind of breezes by the whole "misinformation about bisexuals," so let's go back to that real quick.
- Bisexual people are NOT inherently promiscuous.
- Bisexual people are NOT inherently incapable of commitment.
Promiscuity and commitment aversion are traits that occur in all sorts of people for all sort of reasons. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
"What advice would you give a teenager who's questioning their sexuality?"
You choose whatever label you're most comfortable with. And just because you choose a certain label now doesn't mean that you're necessarily stuck with it for life. You're allowed to discover new things about yourself. Point is, just do whatever feels right to you.
The only thing I'll add is this: Don't let other people define you. That's not their job.
"Is it really a 50-50 split or can it be like 70-30?"
Everyone is different. So the proportion can be whatever you want. Not to mention that sexuality is pretty fluid for certain people, so that percentage can even change. The key is not to think of sexuality in terms of like separate boxes or bins. Instead you have to try to think of it as like a sliding scale.
On one side you have same-sex attraction, and on the other you have opposite-sex attraction. Some people fall to one side of the scale. Some fall towards the middle. Some move up and down. And some don't even bother with the scale to begin with.
Kind of radical concept right? But here's where it really gets interesting.
"What are your thoughts on pansexuality, and did you ever think that you belong to this group?"
Let's do a quick Oxford check.
Pansexual: n. Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
I mean, he was doing a cute little Q&A for his fans about being a bisexual guy and just slips in this perfectly concise distinction between having a romantic type and being prejudiced. You have to hand it to him: It's great.
