Here's why this boy has a kidney that's 3 times older than he is.
"He's a success, even with all his side effects. He's a success, because he's still here."
Meet Tony Salerno. He's 13. Well, most of him is 13.
"If someone asks me how old I am, I can tell them, ‘Well, part of me is 50, and the other part of me is 13,'" jokes Tony.
Tony just got a new kidney from his dad, so while he's really a 13-year-old boy, his new kidney's almost four times as old.
He needed a kidney because the treatments that saved his life also did a lot of damage. At 2.5 years old, he was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a type of nerve-based cancer.
Baby Tony in the hospital. Photo courtesy of Karen Salerno.
At the time, the rate of survival for someone Tony's age was about 30%, but, thanks to rigorous treatment, he was pronounced cancer-free at age 3.
However, the intense treatments, which included five rounds of chemotherapy, two stem cell transplants, and total body radiation, did a number on his little body. Though he is still cancer-free 10 years later, Tony is dealing with a number of health problems as a result.
"I have to take a lot of pills at every meal," says Tony. "I have to get nightly injections and a weekly injection."
He has some high-frequency hearing loss from the chemo and cataracts in both eyes. His brain's processing speed is slightly slower than normal, which means he takes more time on tests and assignments. That said, he's no less intelligent than the other kids in his class. "I'm smart," retorts Tony.
His adult teeth have only 20% of the root structure they should. Therefore, eating things like corn on the cob can be tough. He also has only one kidney because the radiation destroyed the other one.
It sounds like a lot for anyone to handle, much less a 13-year-old, but Tony keeps walking tall.
Tony with his Superman T-shirt. Photo courtesy of Karen Salerno.
"I've nicknamed him 'the Mayor' because when he walks into a room, whether it's filled with adults or kids, he acts like he's running for office and wants to talk to everyone," Tony's dad, Tony Sr., writes in an email.
Tony's in Boy Scouts. He is often outside, hanging with friends and learning from nature. When he's inside, he's usually playing video games or watching movies with his family.
One New Year's Eve, they were watching "Back to the Future" and Tony's mom, Karen, remarked on Michael J. Fox's short stature. Tony's also always going to be short because the chemo affected his growth. Seeing someone else who's small be so cool definitely gave him a boost.
In the midst of managing symptoms and living the life of an average 13-year-old, Tony got news that his remaining kidney was failing. He needed a transplant.
Karen was ruled out as a donor candidate because her blood type wasn't compatible, but Tony's dad met the long list of criteria.
[rebelmouse-image 19531262 dam="1" original_size="1270x628" caption="Tony's parents. Image via NorthwesternMutual/YouTube." expand=1]Tony's parents. Image via NorthwesternMutual/YouTube.
"My biggest worry next was that they would find something wrong with me," writes Tony Sr. "And I'm not a perfect match, but I'm the best match we found."
In November 2016, Tony's doctors said he'd probably need the transplant within one to three years. However, just a month later, his numbers weren't looking so good, and they decided to schedule the procedure for summer 2017. Tony had his transplant on Aug. 1, and his family is happy to report that it was a success!
Tony felt a little "weird" about getting a part of his dad, but his dad lightens the mood with jokes.
Tony at a Lego exhibit. Photo courtesy of Karen Salerno.
"Mostly I kid him that he better take care of it, because I will be watching, and that he gets to celebrate not only his birthday, but his kidney's birthday on my birthday," writes Tony Sr.
Joking aside, it's not easy for his parents to see Tony struggle, especially when he's just trying to live a normal kid's life.
Tony goofing in a hammock. Photo courtesy of Karen Salerno.
Tony Sr. writes that it's hard to watch him "encounter his limitations alongside his friends and schoolmates." Life after cancer, especially when you're also a growing boy, can be a roller coaster, and sometimes they just feel like they're along for the ride.
But with a son like Tony who has beaten so many odds and, despite his limitations, keeps on truckin', it's not all scary.
Of course, things would not look nearly so bright if it weren't for the extraordinary medical support Tony's had over the years.
[rebelmouse-image 19531265 dam="1" original_size="1276x618" caption="Tony with Dr. Michael Hogarty at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Image via NorthwesternMutual/YouTube." expand=1]Tony with Dr. Michael Hogarty at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Image via NorthwesternMutual/YouTube.
The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia in particular really impressed Tony's parents.
"From a scientific perspective, the things they can find out about him without having to do invasive, exploratory surgery are amazing," remarks Karen.
In fact, Tony's case was involved in initial immunotherapy work at the hospital — a less invasive treatment that involves boosting disease-fighting cells to enable them to target the cancer better. Much of their research wouldn't be possible without funding from companies like Northwestern Mutual.
In the midst of seeing other kids who aren't as lucky as Tony, these less-brutal treatments give his parents hope.
Tony with the family dog, Spike. Photo courtesy of Karen Salerno.
He's still got a long road ahead of him, but with his family and doctors by his side, Tony has the best possible support.
What's more, thanks to the research that's been done on his case, many other sick kids may have an easier time recovering. That's a major win for all families going through this. It's also why Tony's dad believes this simple truth with all his heart:
"He's a success, even with all his side effects. He's a success, because he's still here."
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.