A teacher made a student cry in a good way — by telling him test scores aren't everything.

His mom cried when she read it, too.

When you're a kid, kind words from a caring adult can make such a lasting impression.

That's exactly what happened to Indiana third-grader Rylan as he was gearing up for something most kids dread: standardized testing week.

His teacher, who has asked to remain anonymous, gave each of her students a letter and a cookie before the big test. The letter is touching, but it's the video of Rylan's reaction to it that really gets me (you'll see that at the end).


Rylan got in the car today and told me he was embarrassed because he cried at school. I asked him what upset him, and he told me he cried because he was happy about a letter his teacher gave his class before they take ISTEP. Needless to say, when I read it, I cried too. We need not just more teachers like her, but also more people like her in this world. "These tests do not define you. There are many ways of being smart. YOU are smart! YOU are enough! You are the light that brightens my day and the reason I am happy to come to work each day. So, in the midst of all these tests, remember that there is no way to "test" all of the amazing and awesome things that make you, YOU."
A photo posted by Abby Martin (@absmarti) on

Schools can have so much at stake with their testing results, they often inadvertently transfer that pressure onto the students.

Whether you think the amount of testing being done in public schools is great or if you wish it were reduced dramatically, one thing we can all probably agree on is that it's important to not send kids the wrong message — that their entire worth is wrapped up in whatever score they get.

The need for kids to hear this stuff is real. School pressures are waaaayyy different from when most of us were kids.

I'll never forget when I drove my daughter home after results came in from a three-day marathon of fifth-grade testing. Usually she was bubbly and happy on days like these because she often got the highest score in her class and was proud of herself — she worked hard and did her best to beat her own scores and loved feeling like it was paying off.

This time she was salty. Her friend had bested her, and though she congratulated her sincerely and effusively, she couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that her "winning" streak had been broken.


My daughter exercising her love of learning: on her way to Battle of the Books (L) and learning photography basics (R).

A lightbulb went off in my head. Her self-worth is all wrapped up in this, I realized. This is all she's ever known as a measure of who she is and where she ranks.

I pulled the car over and we had an instant talk because it was that important. My speech went something like this:

"You know that if you never achieved another thing in your entire life, you would still be loved and valued in our family just for who you are, right? It'd be disappointing if you stopped trying to reach your potential, but even if you did, we'd still love you.
Who you are isn't proven by your track record of achievements — it's the moments when you're sad but are kind to others anyway, when you have a good reason to be a jerk but you choose not to be, and it's when no one is looking and you don't have to be a good person but you are anyway.
You will achieve amazing things in your life, and I will always be happy for you when you do, but not because it's proving anything about who you are. I already know who you are."

I saw a lightbulb go off for her then too. I hope it was a pivotal moment in how she will orient herself when going after lofty goals throughout her life.

Here's Rylan and his mom talking about what it meant to get his teacher's letter.

Hearing and seeing Rylan's face and his mother's gratitude as they share the letter is all the proof we need — a little kindness can go a long way.

If you're not completely sure a kid in your life totally knows how to separate their test scores from their self-worth, this is a great thing to share with them right now.

More
via Twitter / Soraya

There is a strange right-wing logic that suggests when minorities fight for equal rights it's somehow a threat to the rights already held by those in the majority or who hold power.

Like when the Black Lives Matter movement started, many on the right claimed that fighting for black people to be treated equally somehow meant that other people's lives were not as valuable, leading to the short-lived All Lives Matter movement.

This same "oppressed majority" logic is behind the new Straight Pride movement which made headlines in August after its march through the streets of Boston.

Keep Reading Show less
Inclusivity

For most of us, the hypothetical question of whether we would stick with a boyfriend or girlfriend through the trials of cancer and the treatments is just that – a hypothetical question. We would like to think we would do the right thing, but when Max Allegretti got the chance to put his money where mouth is, he didn't hesitate for a second.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
via bfmamatalk / facebook

Where did we go wrong as a society to make women feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public?

No one should feel they have the right to tell a woman when, where, and how she can breastfeed. The stigma should be placed on those who have the nerve to tell a woman feeding her child to "Cover up" or to ask "Where's your modesty?"

Breasts were made to feed babies. Yes, they also have a sexual function but anyone who has the maturity of a sixth grader knows the difference between a sexual act and feeding a child.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Instagram / JLo

The Me Too movement has shed light on just how many actresses have been placed in positions that make them feel uncomfortable. Abuse of power has been all too commonplace. Some actresses have been coerced into doing something that made them uncomfortable because they felt they couldn't say no to the director. And it's not always as flagrant as Louis C.K. masturbating in front of an up-and-coming comedian, or Harvey Weinstein forcing himself on actresses in hotel rooms.

But it's important to remember that you can always firmly put your foot down and say no. While speaking at The Hollywood Reporter's annual Actress Roundtable, Jennifer Lopez opened up about her experiences with a director who behaved inappropriately. Laura Dern, Awkwafina, Scarlett Johansson, Lupita Nyong'o, and Renee Zellweger were also at the roundtable.

Keep Reading Show less
popular