One of the greatest things about humans is our ability to learn, grow, and change throughout our lives. However, it’s not a given that everyone will do so. It takes an open mind and a humble heart to learn new things, unlearn old ideas, and overcome prejudice.
We can see a beautiful example of such growth in a southern grandmother. Her grandson-in-law asked her what her first impression of him was when they met, and she was surprisingly honest with him.
“Well, I wasn’t happy. I really wasn’t happy,” she said. When he laughed, she said, “You want the truth?” He said he did.
Grandma shared the truth about her racial bias
“I really wasn’t happy that she was dating a man of another color,” she said. “I’m being honest with you now, so if you want to get mad at me, you’re just gonna have to get mad at me.” However, she asked him to let her finish what she wanted to say first.
She explained that her granddaughter had been in another interracial relationship before and that the man had not been a good partner to her.
“He treated her terribly,” the grandmother said.
“And when y’all got married, I still wasn’t happy that she married into the Black family,” she admitted. “But I will tell you right now, with a true heart and a true spirit, I was wrong. I was very, very wrong.”
She then told him that she didn’t know of another man, other than her own husband, whom she admired and loved as much as she admired and loved him.
“You take care of my family so beautifully,” she said, “and do so much for me and my son. And I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you like a son. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
A little honesty, humility, and accountability go a long way
The two shared hugs, laughter, and clearly a whole lot of love. And people in the comments were moved by seeing how the woman had overcome her prejudice:
“I love this. I love the accountability and honesty. This is how it should be!!”
“Bring back honest conversations like this please!! This is beautiful.”
“‘I’ll tell you with a true heart and a true spirit, I was wrong.’ And she meant it.”
“If it can be learned, it can be unlearned. 🩵🩵🩵”
“Unlearning taught thoughts 🫶🏽”
“This is what it’s about, admitting ur ignorance, unlearning and loving. ❤️”
“It takes love to break evil cycles. I love this!!!!”
“The most healing words ever spoken…’I was wrong’ 🩷”
Admitting you were wrong is a powerful thing
It’s not easy for many people to admit they were wrong. In fact, it’s so uncomfortable for some folks that they flat out refuse to do it, regardless of what’s actually true. This woman was raised in the era of institutionally endorsed racism, most likely in the American South, if her accent is any indication. She could easily have clung to her racial prejudice, doubling down on it to avoid admitting her wrong thinking.
But she didn’t. She had her eyes opened, and instead of looking away, she saw she had been wrong. And she said so with her whole chest. No excuses. No explaining it away. Simply, “I was very, very wrong.”
Kudos to the grandson-in-law for his role in helping her see the error in her mindset and for his loving response to her admission. It’s one thing to want people to grow; it’s another to give them room to do so. For this woman, learning and growth came out of a beautiful family relationship. That’s not always the case, but what a lovely example of what can happen through genuine bonds of love.
