Man lists 8 not fun, but very important things you need to start doing as an adult.

“Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

adulthood, life hacks, life advice
8 things you should be doing as an adult. Spoiler alert—none of them are fun. Photo credit: @johnfluenzer/TikTok

Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.

But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.

Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.


John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren’t told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error.”

Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.

1. Getting an annual doctor visit.

annual checkup
young woman visiting her doctor Canva

This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”

2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.

dentist near me
Woman at the dentist Canva

“Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it’s better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.

As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn’t want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.

…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.

“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.

Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.

Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.

Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…

3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.

std check, std clinic
an image of STD tests Canva

“If you’re uncomfortable with your GP, or you don’t have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it’s better to know,” he said.

4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot.”

vaccine near me
A man having just got a vaccine. Canva

“We’re talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you’re under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It’s three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.

And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.

5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.

pep near me
Image of pills Canva

For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.

Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.

6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.

rent prices, apartment near me
Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent. Canva

John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month.”

“It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that’s important,” he added. “But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time.”

7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.

cheap cellphone, lowering cellphone bill
Woman holding a cellphone Canva

“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?” he said. “I don’t care if it’s any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you’re under no contract—you have so much freedom.”

Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.

8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.

netflix, hbo, showtime, hulu
There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time. Canva

This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.

“You don’t need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever… you don’t need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu… All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like ‘My List.’ And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.

What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.

“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.

Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.

“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”

You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.

Watch the full video below:

@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound – John

This article originally appeared on 12.10.23

  • 4-year-old tearfully tells her mom why she wants to celebrate Ramadan, and it’s too precious
    Does Ramadan entail eating rice at night and watching real dragons?Photo credit: Canva

    February has been a busy month for holidays in 2026. There’s not only Groundhog Day, Valentine’s Day, and Presidents’ Day, but it’s also Black History Month, and Chinese New Year, Lent, and Ramadan all coincide this month. (This is so rare that it likely won’t happen again in our lifetime!) And as a mom’s video shows, that may be causing some mix-ups for the youngest among us.

    Sonny Reign shared her four-year-old’s meltdown over wanting to celebrate Ramadan, calling it “precious.” She said she wouldn’t normally record her child when she’s in distress, but this is one instance where it feels perfectly warranted. As their family is not Muslim, Reign told her daughter that she didn’t know how to celebrate Ramadan, but would look into it. However, the kiddo insisted she already knew how it was done.

    @sonny_reign

    Wouldn’t normally record when she’s in distress, but this was so precious. She just wants to celebrate Ramadan with her friends. Also I’m sorry, a REAL dragon? That can’t be right- somethings gone lost in the kindergarten translation right?

    ♬ original sound – sonny reign🧡🇨🇦

    “We eat rice at night, and we stay up late! That’s how we celebrate Ramadan,” the girl said before adding, “And you also look at real dragons.

    Real dragons? Ramadan is the Muslim fasting period in which no food or drink is consumed between sunrise and sunset, so the eating rice at night and the staying up late parts made sense. The real dragons were a bit of a headscratcher, though.

    It appears Reign’s daughter was conflating Ramadan with Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year, and adding a bit of four-year-old imagination to the mix as well. Celebrations of Chinese New Year often include dragon costumes or other dragon imagery, and, since Chinese New Year coincided with the start of Ramadan this year, the confusion is understandable.

    A colorful Chinese dragon puppet
    Dragon puppet. Photo credit: Canva

    People in the comments found the whole exchange delightful:

    “No , we’re not gonna fact check her….we are now her followers and plan to eat rice at night, stay up late and look at real dragons. It has been ordained!!!”

    “As a Muslim I approve her understanding of Ramadan.”

    “Idk about the dragon part maybe I haven’t unlocked that level of Muslim yet.”

    “As a Muslim I wanna celebrate Ramadan this way too. I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life.”

    “As an Arab, I also want to eat rice at night and look at real dragons.”

    “I’m a Malaysian Muslim who is fasting, with Chinese neighbours. I do, in fact, eat rice at night and stay up late to watch dragons with them. Their Chinese New Year’s fireworks are craaaaaazyyyyyyy.”

    Colorful fireworks for Chinese New Year
    Chinese New Year fireworks. Photo credit: Canva

    “This child is absolutely adorable she wants to celebrate Ramadan and the Chinese New Year. She has aunties worldwide.❤️”

    “It’s a confusing time to be a preschooler. Black History Month, Chinese New Year, Lent, Ramadan. Plus Valentine’s Day and 100th day of school. February is busyyyy.”

    “My son tried to take a day off school for Eid and we’re Catholic.” 

    Kudos to Mama Reign for her expert handling of the situation. It’s not always easy to respond appropriately when your child is upset. However, honoring her desire to celebrate Ramadan while also making it clear that she didn’t yet know how to do that was solid. Keeping it together when the “real dragons” came in was also some top-notch self-control.

    Most likely, Reign’s daughter had been learning about the various holidays and how to celebrate them at school. At four years old, trying to keep the overlapping holidays in our multicultural world straight is genuinely challenging! Still, what an adorable reminder of how far we’ve come to see one another’s cultural and religious traditions as something to celebrate.

    (Especially when there are real dragons involved, of course.)

  • Mom shares how she went from feeling alone to having a ‘huge mom village’ in just one year
    A mom sits on a living room floor with her friends.Photo credit: Canva
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    Mom shares how she went from feeling alone to having a ‘huge mom village’ in just one year

    “It’s been such a positive change in my life, so I just wanted to share my experience.”

    Being a mom can be a lonely role. A 2024 study published by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center found that 66% of parents reported feeling isolated, and a whopping 79% reported a desire to connect with others outside of work and home.

    One mom on Reddit shared exactly how she went from feeling “so incredibly lonely” to having a “huge mom village” in just one year.

    She explained that it started at the end of 2024, when she found herself feeling really miserable and thinking about the new year ahead.

    “I don’t speak to my family, my in-laws are out of state and honestly it was getting to the point where my husband was my only consistent friend,” she wrote. “It can be really soul crushing to have no network of adults to share life with. I needed more connection.”

    How she grew her “mom village”

    She decided to try the “most bottom barrel thing I could think of”—she planned a monthly mom dinner for fellow moms. Some she knew, some she didn’t.

    “I invited every mom I knew, but that wasn’t going to cut it so I started inviting moms I didn’t know at all,” she shared. “Make eye contact with me in the pick up area? Hey there, I have a monthly mom dinner I host if you want to come. Our kids are in the same class and I saw you for five minutes once from across the hall? Please take this invitation to my monthly mom dinner. We’re FB friends who haven’t seen each other in 20 years, but I saw your post about needing to get out? Mom dinner.”

    In the comments, she explained that the dinners started out at restaurants, but that it cut “many moms due to finances and childcare,” so she began to switch it up by adding in potlucks.

    She put herself out there by extending invites, something she said was “a little uncomfortable at first.” However, the positive response quelled any of her insecurities.

    “The overwhelming reaction was excitement and gratitude, so after the first few it became really easy,” she wrote. “Women have been so receptive to hanging out with other women. I have had moms decline or not show up, but I have yet to feel rejected by anyone.”

    She added that each fellow mom she encountered could relate to the need for a “Mom dinner.”

    “Literally every single mom I’ve spoken to gets it,” she added. “We all seem to be in the same sinking boat.”

    @christines.life_

    fully convinced that moms with a village have a completely different version of motherhood than those who don’t #motherhood #momlife #toddlermom #toddlermomlife #momtok

    ♬ original sound – christine

    The unexpected outcomes

    Momentum started to increase, and by six months in, she noticed she had added many more mom friends into her life.

    “I went from having two mom friends that I knew would probably watch my kids in an emergency, to a real village with a bit more than 20 of those mom friends,” she shared. “This was unimaginable to me when I started the dinner in 2025.”

    Although she doubted her experiment would work, it did, and there was an unexpected benefit: “My kids are even having sleepovers now, that’s how much trust and community we’ve built.”

    Finally, she wants to encourage other moms to step outside their comfort zones.

    “All it really took was the courage to say I’m lonely out loud to other people and a FB event invite,” she explained. “It’s been such a positive change in my life, so I just wanted to share my experience.”

    Women enjoy dessert together. Photo credit: Canva

    Moms react

    Her idea to connect moms and build a strong fellowship of mom friends resonated with lonely mothers:

    “This is the way to do it. I did something similar, and it is SO AWKWARD to put yourself out there for a few months/a while and hope to get something back (especially as an introvert) but now we have annual egg hunts, July 4th parties, outdoor movie nights, summer parties, etc. where we just invite dozens of people and have this awesome little village community.”

    “My social anxiety could never but it wishes it could. 😂 This sounds honestly so lovely. I’m sure this has helped a lot of moms feel part of the wider world again. I’d come to your mom dinner in a heartbeat.”

    “This is great! A YouTuber I love (Hannah Witton) tries to do coffee mornings every month or so where they have coffee, pastries, brunch type snacks and invite young families over to just drop in for however long they can. It has definitely encouraged me to do something similar to build our village. A mom of a classmate recently organized a mom dinner for our class and it was amazing. All of us indicated it was something we needed more of. I’m glad she took the initiative to get it set up.”

  • Malala Yousafzai’s brother reveals beautiful sentiment about living in his sister’s shadow
    Malala Yousafzai and her brother, Khushal, pose for a photo.Photo credit: Used with permission from Khushal Yousafzai

    Malala Yousafzai most certainly has a lot of light. At the young age of 11, she began advocating for education for girls after the Taliban took over her district of Swat in Pakistan. About three years later, she, (alongside two other girls) was shot in the head on a bus for her passionate, outspoken views.

    She survived and went on to address the United Nations about the importance of education. From her non-profit’s website, “The U.N. recognized July 12 as Malala Day, in honour of her courageous advocacy and to highlight the global struggle for education. With her father, her ally and inspiration, she established Malala Fund, an organisation dedicated to giving every girl the opportunity to learn and choose her own future.”

    Recently, one of her younger brothers, Khushal Yousafzai, was speaking at the Oxford Scholars Program when he was asked if he ever felt “overshadowed” by his sister’s accomplishments. His answer was vulnerable, heartfelt, and lovely. “My sister almost died. Forget her getting the Nobel Prize. Forget her getting the limelight. I would give up my life for you to have a life. Death puts things into perspective like nothing else does.”


    He pauses and asks, “Why would her success take anything away from me? I’m not in my sister’s shadow. I’m in my sister’s light. And Rumi has this beautiful quote: ‘A candle doesn’t lose its light when it lights up another candle.’ It actually makes the world a brighter place. It lights up the whole room.”

    He continues with the message of supporting the people you love. “So guys, uplift each other. If you see your friend, uplift them. Because guess what? We all are gonna die someday. And your friends, I’m sure they mean a lot to you. And at times, there is that feeling of jealousy. You don’t want to be going to their funeral and telling their parents how amazing they were. Because guess what? It’s too late. So tell them while they’re still alive. You don’t want to live with that, so uplift people while they’re still here.”

    Khushal speaks frequently to students about his journey. He is also a fierce advocate for education and finding the fuel to live life to its fullest. From the bio he shared with Upworthy: “Through his educational platform, Yousafzai Academy, he mentors students about personal and academic growth, learning from setbacks, and leadership.”

    Many in the Instagram comments are beautifully supportive and touched by his words. “So beautiful to see his immense love for his sister shared so honestly, vulnerably, and without any hint of shame or resentment. And the Rumi quote is just so perfect. ❤”

    Another notes that his wisdom isn’t surprising, considering that his whole family is involved in activism. “This family has got all the right things going on! What a gift to the world.”

    This person was moved by his words, especially by the idea of uplifting people while there’s still time. “Wisdom. Beautiful. Fabulous. What a family! Uplift your friends. Uplift people while they are still here. Yes!”

    And this commenter deduces from his clip that the trauma their family has been through has created a thoughtful empath. “You have a high level of empathy 🙏🏽💕. Only people who have come close to death know the depth of your words and the bond you share with your sister.”

  • Millennials complain that their Boomer parents won’t throw anything away. A psychologist explains why.

    Millennials with Baby Boomer parents have not been shy about airing their complaints about the older generation. Millennials have previously noted that their parents tend to hoard food—and now Millennials are airing their grievances about Boomer “stuff avalanche”.

    On Reddit, Millennials discussed their frustrations about their Boomer parents and the insane amount of junk they have in their homes that (allegedly) will one day be passed down to them one day. Many Millennials shared that it is a source of contention for them, and that they wish their parents would just throw things out.

    “3 car garage…cannot fit a single car in there,” one commented. And another stated, “I am very concerned with the amount of junk my parents are holding onto.”

    A fellow peeved Millennial added, “The worst part is that our parents think this is all worth lots and lots of money. Don’t worry kids, these three sets of china I’m saving for you will be worth millions!”

    Another had laid down the law: “My mom kept joking about all the ‘stuff’ being my inheritance. After a few times I was tired of it, I looked her dead in the face and said in the most monotone I could get. ‘I will get the biggest dumpster I can, and it will all go in the trash.’ She stopped making that joke, and my parents have been slowly throwing out their junk ever since.”

    clutter, baby boomer stuff avalanche, stuff, too much stuff, decluttering
    A Baby Boomer garage that is filled with stuff.Photo credit: Canva

    Why Boomers struggle to throw things away

    The Boomer generation grew up in the post-war era shaped by rationing and economic rebuilding,” Daniel Glazer, clinical psychologist and co-founder of US Therapy Rooms, tells Upworthy.

    He adds that the Boomer inability to let stuff go is often criticized, when you look at the psychology of their attachment to objects, their behavior makes much more sense.

    “Not so long ago, saving things was an adaptive habit. ‘That might come in handy’ was a common refrain in households in which replacing something was not so easy, or affordable,” says Glazer. “There is also an element of emotional security that comes from the things that have surrounded us through decades of life events, or even across a lifetime.”

    And for many Boomers, getting rid of stuff can signify an even bigger mental battle.

    “As people age, there can also be an increased awareness of mortality,” Esin Pinarli, Founder & Holistic Psychotherapist at Eternal Wellness Counseling. “Letting go of objects can feel symbolic, almost like letting go of chapters of their life. If no one is asking about those chapters anymore, those objects become the tangible proof that those experiences mattered. So it’s not stubbornness. It’s often about attachment, meaning-making, and a fear of losing relevance or erasing parts of their story.”

    How to help Boomers declutter

    Starting the conversation with Boomer parents in an empathetic and understanding way may help the process go more smoothly and deepen the relationship with them. Here are a few examples of conversation starters Millennials can use when talking to their Boomer parents about throwing things away:

    Conversation Starter #1: “I know these things mean something to you. I’d love to hear the story behind a few of them.”

    “This shifts the focus from getting rid of objects to honoring the meaning behind them,” says Pinarli. “When a parent feels seen and understood, they’re often more open to eventually letting go. It validates that the attachment is about memory and identity, not just stuff.”

    Conversation Starter #2: “What would feel good for you to keep, and what feels like it’s just taking up space now?”

    “This gives them agency,” Pinarli explains. “Instead of telling them what to throw away, it invites them to reflect on what still feels meaningful versus what might no longer serve them. That sense of control reduces defensiveness.”

    Conversation Starter #3: “Would it help to go through this together so we can make sure the important things are preserved?”

    “This frames decluttering as a collaborative and supportive process, not a demand,” Pinarli shares. “It reassures them that their memories and legacy won’t be dismissed or erased, which can lower the emotional intensity around letting go.”

  • Florida man finds genius way to prevent family from hearing his bathroom ‘noises’
    happy man, toilet, bathroom, man on toilet, smiling man, plumbingPhoto credit: Canva/Photos

    Nobody wants to hear anyone using the restroom. Still, sometimes, if you live or work in close quarters, it can be hard to go discreetly without anyone hearing the splashing, grunting, toilet paper ripping, and flushing that goes on while you’re on the throne. Some try to mask the noise with strategic flushing, while others let the tap run—but that can be a big water waste.

    A Florida father found a way to put a silencer on his bathroom door by strategically adding a pool noodle to the bottom, and people are applauding his ingenuity. He sliced the noodle down the center and affixed it to the bottom of the door so no sound could escape. It probably helps keep the smells out as well.

    Brilliant dad soundproofs his bathroom

    A picture of the invention was shared by one of his children on Reddit. “Florida man adds pool noodle feature to a bathroom door *for ‘noises,’*” they captioned the image.

    “Well, that’s using your noodle,” one commenter wrote.

    The man’s brilliant solution to a problem that affects all of humanity inspired others on Reddit to share their favorite pool noodle hacks. Here are some of the best:

    1. Keep toys from going under the couch

    “We use pool noodles under the edges of the couch and table so toys don’t get knocked underneath them. The dogs appreciate it more than our son does.”

    “We had to trim a little off the noodle for the couch because it sat lower, but we used whole noodles for the coffee table. The important part is that it’s a tight enough fit to wedge into place.”

    “This will be huge for the dogs, cats, kids, and Roomba.”

    2. Keep your records in place

    “I use a piece of noodle at the back of my IKEA KALLAX shelving to keep vinyl records from sliding too far back and stay evenly faced up front. If you want black instead of colorful, use pipe insulation—it’s basically the same though not as cheap.”

    3. Stop drafts

    “I use mine wrapped with T-shirts to block the draft under my front door. I love how you can cut it to fit perfectly to fit the doorframe.”

    4. Perfect cat door jam

    “I use a piece of one on top of my bedroom door to keep it open just a little bit so the cat can get out, otherwise the air pressure tends to push it shut.”

    5. Protect your noggin with a noodle

    “Slit a pool noodle and wrapped it the length of a shelf’s edge in my pool cabana. I no longer crack my forehead on the sharp edge when I lean in to crank the pool filter setting.”

    Pool noodle aerobics. via Canva

    The Florida father who used a pool noodle to prevent unwanted sounds—and probably scents—from escaping his bathroom is further proof that the pool noodle has countless uses. It’s fair to say pool noodles have now joined the ranks of zip ties, Pedialyte, and binder clips as accidental multipurpose objects that can really get you out of a jam (or fill a door jam) when you need help around the house.

  • Mom shares controversial take on why she limited her kids’ college major choices
    Mom poses with son at his graduation. Photo credit: Canva

    Choosing a college major is a big deal for students and parents alike because one’s college major sets the groundwork for their future career and income.

    One mom decided that, in order to set her kids up for future financial success, she would limit her kids’ college major choices.

    Mom and therapist Ruth Han, LPC, took to Instagram to share how she helped guide her children on choosing their college majors—and her methods seem pretty controversial.

    Her kids can choose from four majors

    Han began the video by saying people are going to “lose their minds” when she tells them why she is implementing limits for her kids’ college majors. She added that her husband thought she was crazy and thought their kids would rebel when she delivered the news.

    “College is not a time to explore your passions. I do not have the money or the time for that,” she said. “Absolutely take advantage of all the extracurriculars and the opportunities that a college campus offers. But college, to me, is a white collar trade school, so you have to graduate with an in-demand skill.”

    The four majors are: Nursing, Accounting, Engineering, and Computer Science.

    Her biggest reason for limiting college major choices is tuition itself, which she adds can cost up to $400,000. Han explains her homeschooled kids earned full merit scholarships as well. However, she argues that young adults will have a harder time launching if they don’t earn enough money to financially support themselves.

    “They can at that time figure out what they want to do and what their passions are. So it was best for me to do something to make sure that my kids were going to enter young adulthood with a highly-marketable, in-demand skill.”

    Han explained that she told her kids that they would have her full financial support for four years, but “after that i have to focus on my retirement because I do not expect you to support me in my old age. As a mother, it’s my duty to make sure that you can provide for yourself.”

    That means doing whatever her kids want to do. “You want to go play guitar on the boardwalk for money? Go for it. You wanna be a professional gamer, an actress, a dancer, a musician, a pro athlete—go for it. I want them to do whatever they want once they have the actual ability to make that choice as an adult because then you also have to have the ability to handle all of the ups and downs of such choices.”

    Her final takeaway: “As parents, we have to make sure that they start out in life without any student loans,” Han said.

    college, college major, college majors, college graduation, graduating college
    Students pose after college graduation. Photo credit: Canva

    What parents are saying

    Han received many comments on her video.

    Some were supportive:

    “My daughter had 1 choice… tech, and I won’t say she agreed. But after becoming a SE and making 110K straight out of college, she was very happy she listened.”

    “Certified HR professional with 18 years of experience and having worked for Fortune 500s, tech, and hedge funds (as HR) I can tell you she’s saving them so much time wasted. So many professionals don’t end up in the fields they studied delaying their peak salary. Every single one of those degrees have high salaries averages and are respectable degrees. I’ve never seen a high paying job (200k+) asking for liberal arts preferred…”

    “This is what my parents pretty much did lol I wanted to go to acting school my dad said get a degree first and I got an engineering degree. I’m actually happy he did that.”

    “I love the concept of launching young adults VS raising children. I’m on board.”

    However, others were critical:

    college, college major, college majors, moving to college, moving in at college, parents help move into college
    Parents help move daughter in to college. Photo credit: Canva

    “Having worked in higher education, practically my entire career, I can say from professional experience that this sounds like good advice but it’s not that cut and dry. Great, you limited the education and career options for your child because of its earning potential. Congratulations, now your child is crying in my office their entire senior year because their unhappy, not really good at what they’ve studied because they were never invested, and now they’re on their way to being unemployed or underemployed because they never really mastered the skill set. They just sat in class to make you happy. A paid dancer makes more than an unemployed engineer everyday of the week. And trust me… there are a bunch of unemployed engineers, doctors, and lawyers.”

    “I totally understand your reasoning but also maybe they shouldn’t go to college if they don’t like those majors. I have a long list of people who decided the majors they graduated in weren’t for them. They decided they were happier being carpenters, bartenders, teachers, opened restaurants, etc. Those big paychecks and so called secure jobs killed their soul.”

    “I got a BFA in acting. Went on to become a professional theatre creator for years, and then received a scholarship to get my masters degree at Columbia where I now have the opportunity to work on Broadway. Thank GOD my mother didn’t do this, and she accepted and supported my talent and drive for what it was! I’m so glad my parents saw me for who I was, even if it wasn’t the most statistically probable path towards financial stability (yes, we both have student loans to pay for this). And perhaps this might come as surprising, but an advanced tertiary education is about learning, not just financial gain.”

    “I would have dropped out of school in 2 days if I had been in accounting/nursing/engineering. I also would have wasted YEARS not developing the skills I was passionate about and been behind. I am SO thankful I had parents who supported ‘out of the box’ ways of life and thought my art degree was a great idea. The overall liberal arts education was mind-opening! I started my own company and now make more each year than any accountant or nurse I know, plus I work from home on my own schedule and have tons of time with my family. Doing what I LOVE. I also paid for all my own schooling by choosing affordable schools and finding creative ways to pay for them. My parents supported creative ways to make money but never handed me cash. It’s my education, not theirs.”

  • Young poet performs emotional love letter to his older sister that every elder sibling should hear
    Young siblings holding hands while standing in a lake. Photo credit: Canva

    Oldest siblings can have a complicated relationship with their youngers. They may be separated by many years, or just one or two. They can be best friends or mortal enemies depending on the day. Siblings tend to fight and have conflict at an almost laughably high rate, and yet, in many cases, they are among the most meaningful relationships in a person’s life.

    However, it’s often not until kids grow up that they truly appreciate the bond they have with their siblings and the crucial role that each of them has played in the other’s lives.

    Poet Joshua De Schutter recently performed a tear-jerking poem dedicated to his older sister, Joy, and it’s striking a nerve with people everywhere who grew up with siblings.

    siblings, older siblings, younger siblings, sister, brother, kids, family, love, poet, poetry, poems
    Older sibling with her arm around her younger sibling. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

    De Schutter, who is only in his early twenties, has been posting clips of his performances online for about two years. In that short time he has amassed over a million followers. Viewers connect deeply with his incisive observations about life, love, and family, and his poems are extremely accessible in their language and structure, giving them a broad appeal almost anyone can relate to.

    A recent piece about older siblings has racked up over three million views.

    “Someone to protect me from everything that hurt them, that’s what it really means to have an older sibling,” De Schutter says early in the piece, which is a spoken word poem performed in a natural cadence.

    “Someone in my life I don’t even remember meeting, someone who loved me before I knew love was a feeling … And man, it must be hard, being mom and dad’s first, being the kid that taught them how to be adults, being the first kid to experience those flaws and responsibilities you have to inherit. We all know that the first child becomes the third parent.”

    One of the best lines comes as he makes a realization about his older sister’s love and protection: That it came at a cost.

    “Then you grow up and you look back at all they did… and you realize she had to grow up faster so that I could stay a kid.”

    The whole performance is a must-watch:

    Nearly five-thousand people commented on De Schutter’s video expressing their gratitude for his message. Many were brought to tears:

    “as an eldest child, i’m crying. thank you.”

    “I’m the eldest child and this made me cry so much … thank you for your words. This isn’t your first poem that brought me to tears. You touch many lives. Keep doing what you do!”

    “As the eldest sibling, my younger siblings are literally my babies and I’d do anything for them”

    “Sitting here, crying. Because me and my older sister didnt get along so good. I wish we would have. And crying, because I hope my First daughter will be this for her Younger Sisters. And crying, because it will be hard for her.”

    “recently lost my little sister and she expressed some of these same sentiments. It’s one of the only things that bring me solace. I miss her so much”

    “Thank you for putting this into words. As the older sibling by almost 8years with a single mom I wish I could’ve had this kind of appreciation.”

    De Schutter’s poem captures something many eldest siblings inherently understand. Birth order, research shows, can play a huge role in the development of our personalities.

    (The young poet has a real talent for taking seemingly simple observations about life and making them hit like a sledgehammer.)

    Oldest child syndrome” refers to traits that are commonly seen in a firstborn kid as they grow into an adult. They often grow up faster and reach cognitive milestones more quickly, take on more responsibility at a younger age, and can be drawn to leadership roles as adults. However, the extra responsibility and parent-like roles they take on can have a toll on their mental health. There’s an extremely fine line between a kid learning responsibility and leadership versus becoming parentified. Too much of the latter can cause massive stress, anxiety, and healthy boundary issues in children as they grow up.

    Oldest siblings, of course, are rarely recognized for these contributions to the family. In many cases, they do make sacrifices in their own childhood in order to be a role model and caregiver for their younger siblings, so it’s no wonder hearing that hard work finally acknowledged in De Schutter’s poem is bringing so many eldest siblings to tears.

  • Millennials are debunking Boomer claims that parenting was ‘just easier’ back then and they’ve brought the receipts
    A man holds a baby as a woman looks on. Photo credit: Canva

    There are seemingly endless generational differences in parenting between Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents. As grandparents, many Boomers have been described by Millennials as absent. They’ve also been labeled with “gramnesia,” a blend of “grandparent” and “amnesia,” referring to how many seem to forget what raising kids was really like.

    One Millennial mom shared a similar take on Reddit, explaining that her Boomer parents made it seem like raising babies was far less taxing for them than it is for modern-day parents.

    She wrote, “Everyone I’ve talked to, their parents make it seem like ‘back in the day’ all babies just slept. They put them in their cribs and they napped and slept and had no problems and it was just rainbows and sunshine. No contact naps, no sleep training etc. Are they misremembering? Was it just easier??”

    Fellow Millennial parents offered experiences and insight with their Boomer parents that felt validating.

    millennial mom, millennial parents, raising babies, baby, boomer parents
    An exhausted mom and her baby. Photo credit: Canva

    Millennials share receipts on Boomer parenting

    Many Millennials agree that the Boomer perspective on raising kids is skewed:

    “I know one boomer who put earplugs in and ignored her baby all night. She’ll tell you baby slept through the night. The grandma who lived in the house with them and actually got up for the crying baby might tell you a different story.” – TraditionalManager82

    “My mom was like ‘I thought you were sleeping through the night but your 13 year old brother was actually getting up to take care of you’.” – Stepharoni523

    “My mom gave us dimetapp can’t imagine doing that to my kid.” – ChoptankSweets

    “My boomer mom told me she would put me down for a nap and go for a walk around the neighborhood while I cried.” – AppropriateAmoeba406

    @johnnyhilbrant

    Your boomer parent comments on your parenting… #boomer #parenting #millennial #fyp

    ♬ original sound – Johnnyhilbrant

    “Yep, my boomer MIL visited when my eldest was a week old. Baby started crying because it was time to eat. As I tended to her, my MIL told me to just put her in her crib, close the door to the nursery, and go do something for myself out of the house. Like get my nails done, go have coffee, etc. She said that’s what she did with all of her kids. ‘They’re in the crib, so they can’t get hurt’ was her reasoning. She also felt I was ‘spoiling’ my 6 pound baby by feeding her when she was hungry. I was HORRIFIED and never left her alone with my babies no matter how much she offered.” – littlebittydoodle

    “They weren’t held to even half the standards parents today are held to. It was easier because many of them were terrible parents, and that was just fine.” – allie06nd

    “Even ‘good parents’ following the recommended guidelines of the time would generally be considered sub-par by today’s standards. I also think there is so much more information and awareness of the importance of early childhood development today. This has led to added stress and pressure on today’s parents to influence development as positively as possible. And parents feel responsible for any setbacks, real or perceived.” – heycarlgoodtoseeyou

    Some Millennials defend Boomers

    Not everyone agreed that Boomer parents simply had it easier, and they explained why:

    millennials, millennial parents, millennial parenting, modern parenting, tired mom
    A mom yawns while feeding her baby. Photo credit: Canva

    “I think there is some truth to the idea that babies generally slept better. The advice then was to lay babies down on their bellies, and many babies do sleep better that way. But of course, it’s also more dangerous and not worth the risk, so the advice now is to sleep safely on their backs. But for all of the babies who were luckily able to sleep safely that way, there’s a good chance that the parents slept better too.” – mdb_la

    “Yeah, it’s an evolutionary thing. We forget how horrible it was otherwise no one would ever have a second child.” – tonyrocks922

    “My mom just doesn’t remember a lot of the details. I think that goes to show that it really does go quickly and is a faint memory one day. My mom is always saying ‘I honestly don’t remember this with you girls, so it must not have been that bad!’ I have a 4 year age gap and I even forgot about the newborn stage. It’s just a blur now. I also think no social media/internet at their fingertips back then is also a huge part. Parents just…parented and didn’t have constant communication with the ‘outside world’.” – SaveBandit_02

    “I asked my granny how she raised four kids because I struggle with just two of them. She said she thinks I put more into it than she did. So I’m guessing they didn’t worry themselves over a lot of the details millennials do. Knowing that I’m making life harder on myself than past generations did doesn’t change my behavior, but I do feel more capable and calm and less wrecked when I remind myself that I am choosing to be a highly involved and engaged parent, it’s not a requirement, and I am giving them everything I’ve got of my own free will.” – dammitjenna

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