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7 real actions you can take after the Women's March and 1 you shouldn't.

24 hours after Donald Trump took the oath of office, millions of people around the world took to the streets. It was the biggest protest in U.S. history, and it took place on every single continent. Yes, including Antarctica.

Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images.


The message of the Women's March was clear: We the people will stand up for what we believe in, to protect our rights and to protect the rights of others who are in jeopardy under the Trump administration. Over 2 million people showed up to do just that.

Whether you attended a women's march or just watched the coverage, it was hard not to be moved and inspired.

Celebrities, politicians, influencers, and people of every age, gender, and nationality marched in solidarity for the rights of women, immigrants, Muslims, the LGBTQ community, and other groups that Trump as president has promised to further marginalize.

As great as it was, the march certainly was not the entirety of the resistance. It was just the beginning.

If you want to carry on the work of the Women's March, here are seven things you can do right now:

(Plus one thing you shouldn't do.)

1. Follow the march organizers — national and local — on social media.

The Women's March on Washington was put together by a fierce group of badass women who will be the first to tell you that what's really important is what happens next. In fact, the Women's March website has already released a 10 Actions/100 Days list of things you can do to carry the message forward.

Tamika Mallory, Carmen Perez, Bob Bland, and Linda Sarsour are four of the main organizers for the D.C. march, and there are many others. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to get updates and information on how you can be a part of the key next steps.

Gloria Steinem (middle) with Women's March organizers in Washington, D.C. Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images.

Many of the march organizers have been facing harassment online, and there are currently hashtag campaigns to support them and stand with them in solidarity.

If you attended a march in your town, find out who organized it and get in touch with them, too. They'll be able to tell you about future organizing efforts local to you.

2. There are going to be more opportunities to march. Start spreading the word.

Activists are already planning to march on Saturday, April 15, 2017, in an effort to get Trump to release his tax returns to the public.

That march can be as big as the Women's March, but it's going to take some serious on-the-ground organizing. In other words, it's going to take people like you talking about it and getting others excited.

There is another march planned in April for climate action, and many others will be popping up. Keep an eye out, and keep others informed.

3. Call your representatives.

I know — you're probably tired of hearing it, right?

Well, think of it this way: The next time someone tells you to call your representatives, wouldn't it be nice to say, "I already do. All the time. Because I'm a person who understands the power of raising my voice for the issues I care about, and I know that my elected officials are paid to listen to me."

Remember, just because your elected official isn't from your political party, that doesn't mean you can't call them. Once they're elected, their job is to serve all their constituents. So go ahead and make your voice heard.

To find your representative's contact info, click here.

4. Become a member or volunteer for organizations that need support.

You've heard the call for donations before. Organizations like (deep breath) ... Planned Parenthood, the National Resources Defense Council, the Center for Reproductive Rights, the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, the International Refugee Assistance Project, The Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth, the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, the National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Purple Purse, All Above All, Moms Demand Action, No Kid Hungry, Greenpeace, the Southern Poverty Law Center, ProPublica, The Anti-Defamation League, the Human Rights Campaign, Americans for Immigrant Justice, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, Lambda Legal, Know Your IX, Immigration Impact, Emily's List, the Climate Science Legal Defense Fund, Everytown for Gun Safety, GLAAD, and so many more, are all going to need a lot of support over the next four years.

A one-time donation might not be enough. Consider a monthly recurring donation (if it's a small amount, you might not even notice it), or at least sign up for the email newsletter that a lot of these organizations have. That way you'll regularly get information on how to support the issues you care about.

Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards speaks at the Women's March. Photo by Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/AFP/Getty Images.

If you can't donate? Look for volunteer opportunities. These organizations will need all the help they can get.

Planned Parenthood even has a thorough, itemized list of things you can do right now to stand with them.

5. Form a rapid-response team with your friends.

If the Women's March taught us anything, it's that those of us who reject the policies proposed by the incoming administration are not alone. There are millions of us, and we're all over the world.

One way to make sure you actually have the time to take action is to gather a handful of friends and form a rapid-response team. That means that every time you want to mobilize (to attend a protest or volunteer or start a phone bank to protest a specific piece of legislation), you have a group of people you can rely on to join you.

Do it right now! Start a group message on your phone, and get your friends involved. First mission: Come up with a badass team name.

6. Start playing politics.

Tired of all these politicians messing with your lives and enacting laws that you either disagree with or are directly endangered by? Yeah, there's a lot of that going around.

The thing is, politics is a team sport, and you're on a team whether you like it or not. You might as well start playing.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Vote in your local elections and campaign and volunteer for politicians you like. Vote in the midterms in 2018! This nifty site called Swing Left lets you look up your nearest "swing district" — where the last election was decided by a thin margin. Focusing on those areas means you can make a real, political difference.

Most of all, don't forget you can run for office too. Consider it even more seriously if you're a woman, a person of color, and/or LGBTQ. There are resources available to help you with the specific steps and challenges you will face.

Be the change, diversity, and representation you want to see in the world.

7. Read up. On everything.

Now that the GOP has a clear runway to do pretty much whatever they want, they're going to be busy. An important part of making sure your voice is heard when you disagree with their proposals is to keep track of what's going on. You'll need to know when the Senate is voting on that bill you hate and when the law that takes your 3-year-old's teddy bear away goes into effect.

That means reading the news, the real news, and supporting the real journalism that will be helping to get information to the public.

One thing you shouldn't do? Don't assume others will act.

If there's one thing you should not do in the coming years, it's sit back and assume others will act for you. The Women's March was a success because people got involved and actually showed up.

They didn't just say, "Oh, it's great that someone's doing that. I hope it's a success." They got on planes, they crashed on couches, they brought friends, they showed up for real.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

We're going to need more of that. A lot more. Don't assume that organizing, resisting, and fighting is someone else's job. We're all in this together.

Whatever you do, do something.

It's not going to be easy, but standing up for the things you believe in is important and necessary. It's what we all signed up for when we decided not to move to Canada after the election.

So pull yourself up, and look at as many pictures of the Women's March around the world as you can until you realize that you have the power to make change.

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

Education

Stop struggling with small talk by using the easy 'COST method'

This simple acronym will make your next social gathering a lot more enjoyable.

A man and woman chatting at a dinner party.

There are several reasons why people are hesitant to engage in small talk at a party or around the water cooler at work. Some people simply avoid it because they don’t find chatting about the weather, sports, or what they saw on television the night before very interesting.

Others are afraid that they may run out of things to say or that there will be an awkward pause that makes them want to hide their head in the sand, like an ostrich. Mary, a friendship educator with a degree in interpersonal communication, has a solution for those of us who want to be friendly and meet people but abhor small talk; she calls it the COST method.

What is the COST method for making small talk?

According to Mary, who goes by @better.social.skills on TikTok, COST stands for Compliment, Observation, Story, and Tip. These are four options you can turn to when you're in need of a conversation topic.

@better.social.skills

Remember the acronym C.O.S.T. and you’ll always have something to talk about at parties or events. C stands for compliment. Tell somebody you like their shirt or shoes, for example, and see where the conversation leads. O stands for observation. Remark on something happening around you, like if you enjoy the music or feel a certain way about the weather. A stands for story, in which you share a little anecdote about yourself. For example, maybe you were late to the party for some reason, or you’re excited to get home and watch a show you’re loving. T stands for tip, in which you give a small recommendation to someone. For example, where the shortest bathroom lines are, which food is particular particularly delicious, or point out an interesting person they might want to talk to. What do you think? Would you use these? #creatorsearchinsights #conversationstarters

1. Compliment

“Tell somebody you like their shirt or shoes, for example, and see where the conversation leads,” Mary says.

“Oh, I like your shoes.”

“I like your shirt.”

“You have such a soothing voice.”

2. Observation

“Remark on something happening around you,” Mary says.

“This song is amazing.”

“I really love how Jeanie decorated this room.”

“There’s a lot more people here than last night.”

3. Story

“Share a little anecdote about yourself. For example, maybe you were late to the party for some reason, or you’re excited to get home and watch a show you’re loving,” she said.

4. Tip

“Give a small recommendation to someone. For example, where the shortest bathroom lines are, which food is particularly delicious, or point out an interesting person they might want to talk to,” Mary said.

“I don’t know if you’ve tried the new Mexican place on South Street yet…”

“I’d have one of Jeanie’s margaritas now, before they are all gone.”

“Be careful if you talk to Brian. He can get a bit long-winded.”

chatting before movie, popcorn, movie theater, snacks, small talk Three people chatitng before a movie.via Canva/Photos

The great thing, if you’re a little shy about making small talk, is that studies show that you definitely don’t need to do all the heavy lifting in the conversation. In fact, a Gong.io study found that the best way to make a connection with someone is to speak 43% of the time and let your new friend talk for the other 57% of the conversation.

Further proof that the best way to make a great first impression is a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. It found that when meeting someone for the first time, ask them a question and then be sure to ask two additional follow-ups before discussing yourself. This has been found to dramatically increase your likability.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the authors of the study write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

For those of you who have always felt that you're bad at making small talk. while others seemed to do it naturally, realize that people aren’t born great communicators; it’s a skill that can be learned just like anything else. With a few tips from the experts, you can go from dreading small talk to enjoying striking up a conversation with just about anyone.

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

Did Julius Caesar have his armpits plucked? Probably.

Modern life may have us shaving, waxing, microblading, laser treating, Botoxing, and altering our natural appearance in all manner of ways in the name of beauty, but the idea of grooming to specific societal standards is nothing new. In cultures all around the world and throughout history, humans have found countless creative ways to make ourselves (ostensibly) look better.

Of course, what looks better is subjective and always has been. Take, for example, the ancient Romans. If you wanted to be seen as a studly man 2,000 years ago in the Roman Empire, you'd remove as much of your body hair as possible. That meant tweezing—or being tweezed by someone else, most likely an enslaved person.

armpit hair, grooming, hair removal, hairless, beauty standard Armpit hair wasn't cook in ancient Rome. Giphy

The Romans, in general, weren't big on body hair for men or women.

"You had to have the look,” Cameron Moffett, English Heritage’s curator at the Wroxeter Roman City museum in Shropshire, U.K., told The Times. “And the look was hairlessness, particularly the underarms.” A collection of 50 tweezers on display at the museum, recovered from the archeological site that was once the Roman city of Viriconium, speaks to Roman tweezing habits, but that's not the only evidence we have.

Stoic philosopher Seneca once wrote in a letter lamenting how the noise from the Roman baths was disrupting his work: "Besides those who just have loud voices, imagine the skinny armpit-hair plucker whose cries are shrill to draw people's attention and never stop except when he's doing his job and making someone else shriek for him."

When we picture the ancient Romans, "skinny armpit-hair plucker" may not be the image that comes to mind, yet here we are.


teeth brushing, toothbrush, oral hygiene, toothpaste, dental hygiene They brushed with what now? Giphy

While we fret over fluoride, the Romans brushed their teeth with pee and mouse brains.

Toothpastes of the past were made with all kinds of things—herbs, spices, salts, crushed bone, and more. For the ancient Romans, that "more" included mouse brains and human urine, according to Decisions in Dentistry. Mouse brains were believed to enhance the effectiveness of toothpaste, and urine, imported in large quantities from Portugal, was utilized for its ammonia content and whitening properties. A standard Roman toothpaste would be a mixture of herbs, mouse brains, urine, and a binder such as honey. Oddly enough, it appeared to be somewhat effective, with archeological findings showing a relatively low number of cavities and tooth decay.

@charissekenion

Sailorr has everyone talking about her sound - and her teeth. Here’s my super short history lesson on the practice of ohaguro #ohaguro #geisha #japanese #japantok #aapi #history #japan #historytok #sailorr #japanesebeauty

Meanwhile, in ancient Japan, women tried to blacken their teeth

Teeth whitening is all the rage in modern times, but in the distant past in parts of Asia, making your teeth black was considered beautiful. The practice known as ohaguro was a traditional Japanese practice that, ironically, was intended to prevent tooth decay.

According to a letter in the British Dental Journal, women in ancient Japan would paint a solution of ferric acetate (from iron filings), vinegar, and tannin from tea or vegetables. It was called kanemizuonto and made the teeth appear black. The practice has made a comeback among some rural areas of Southeast Asia, and the Vietnamese-American singer Sailorr has made waves with her blackened teeth as well.

ear picker, history, artifact, grooming, beauty An ornate ear picker.The Swedish History Museum, Stockholm/Wikimedia Commons

Ear pickers were much prettier than Q-tips. In fact, they were an accessory.

The old saying, "Don't put anything in your ear except your elbow," may not be as old as it seems, as people have been inserting objects into their ears to remove wax for a long time.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, it was common to see beautiful, ornate "ear pickers"—small metal tools with a small scoop at the end for cleaning ears as well as teeth and fingernails. According to Jamestown Rediscovery, it was fashionable to wear gold and silver toiletry tools, such as ear pickers or toothpicks, as accessories. It's hard to imagine wearing Q-tips and toothpicks around. Also, ew. But if you look up "ear pickers," you'll find ornate examples from various parts of the world.

At the very least, it's nice to know that modern humans are not the first ones to go to great—and sometimes interesting—lengths to meet an arbitrary social standard of beauty. (And three cheers for modern toothpaste. Seriously.)