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6 real quotes from 'Fifty Shades' that could make you rethink how you feel about it

I'm not condemning you if you read the books as a guilty pleasure. I watch "Real Housewives," for goodness' sake. But if it's inspiring you to try BDSM, for the love of all that is safe and consensual, please know that the real thing is much more responsible than "Fifty Shades."Here are six reasons why this doesn't look like BDSM to me, and why it doesn't make me feel particularly Valentines-y.

6 real quotes from 'Fifty Shades' that could make you rethink how you feel about it

1. Too many partners get talked to this way at home, and it has nothing to do with BDSM — just plain ol' disrespect and intimidation.


2. Even in BDSM (especially in BDSM), things like "no" and safe words are fiercely respected. Trust is key.



3. Are we collectively working out our issues through popular media with how we feel about being stalked? Because I guarantee lots of us have been stalked and never felt it was particularly romantic.

4. See #1.

5. See #1 again and again and again and again.

6. The oldest trick in the book. When an abuse victim finally starts to draw a boundary, the abuser calls into question the victim's sanity and relationship with reality. The victim then doubts him- or herself, and then they're persuaded to do what they "ought to do."


And ONE final point I'd like to make.

[SPOILER ALERT]

Someone said to me, "But Angie, don't you see? In the end, Anastasia liberates him from this and brings him to true love. She is the hero."

RIGHT. In this fictional fantasy book.

The most surprising thing about abuse victims is that they rarely see themselves that way at first. They often see themselves as strong people trying to rescue a volatile but salvageable partner. It's when abuse victims start to let go of the fairy tale that they alone MUST stay so they can "fix" this person that they can finally start to rebuild their lives and find a love that fortifies them.

If you think people should think about the other side of this popular book and movie, please consider sharing. And see the links below for more information on the themes in this book.

via KrustyKhajiit / YouTube

Thomas F. Wilson played one of the most recognizable villains in film history, Biff Tannen, in the "Back to the Future" series. So, understandably, he gets recognized wherever he goes for the iconic role.

The attention must be nice, but it has to get exhausting answering the same questions day in and day out about the films. So Wilson created a card that he carries with him to hand out to people that answers all the questions he gets asked on a daily basis.

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Courtesy of FIELDTRIP
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The COVID-19 pandemic has disproportionately affected diverse communities due largely in part to social factors such as inadequate access to housing, income, dietary options, education and employment — all of which have been shown to affect people's physical health.

Recognizing that inequity, Harlem-based chef JJ Johnson sought out to help his community maximize its health during the pandemic — one grain at a time.

Johnson manages FIELDTRIP, a health-focused restaurant that strives to bring people together through the celebration of rice, a grain found in cuisines of countless cultures.

"It was very important for me to show the world that places like Harlem want access to more health-conscious foods," Johnson said. "The people who live in Harlem should have the option to eat fresh, locally farmed and delicious food that other communities have access to."

Lack of education and access to those healthy food options is a primary driver of why 31% of adults in Harlem are struggling with obesity — the highest rate of any neighborhood in New York City and 7% higher than the average adult obesity rate across the five boroughs.

Obesity increases risk for heart disease or diabetes, which in turn leaves Harlem's residents — who are 76% Black or LatinX — at heightened risk for complications with COVID-19.

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Sometimes a politician says or does something so brazenly gross that you have to do a double take to make sure it really happened. Take, for instance, this tweet from Lauren Witzke, a GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate from Delaware. Witzke defeated the party's endorsed candidate to win the primary, has been photographed in a QAnon t-shirt, supports the conspiracy theory that 9/11 was a U.S. government inside operation, and has called herself a flat earther.

So that's neat.

Witzke has also proposed a 10-year total halt on immigration to the U.S., which is absurd on its face, but makes sense when you see what she believes about immigrants. In a tweet this week, Witzke wrote, "Most third-world migrants can not assimilate into civil societies. Prove me wrong."

First, let's talk about how "civil societies" and developing nations are not different things, and to imply that they are is racist, xenophobic, and wrong. Not to mention, it has never been a thing to refer people using terms like "third-world." That's a somewhat outdated term for developing nations, and it was never an adjective to describe people from those nations even when it was in use.

Next, let's see how Twitter thwapped Lauren Witzke straight into the 21st century by proving her wrong in the most delicious way. Not only did people share how they or their relatives and friends have successfully "assimilated," but many showed that they went way, way beyond that.

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via WatchMojo / YouTube

There are two conflicting viewpoints when it comes to addressing culture from that past that contains offensive elements that would never be acceptable today.

Some believe that old films, TV shows, music or books with out-of-date, offensive elements should be hidden from public view. While others think they should be used as valuable tools that help us learn from the past.

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