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13 things couples who disagree politically know to be true.

Before the 2016 presidential election season began, most American relationships looked like this.

Ah, to be in love. Photo via iStock.


Now, after nearly a year of wall-to-wall, 24/7 politics, here's what many of those same relationships look like:

Breaker one-nine? Photo by Cameron Strandberg/Flickr.

Yes, since the race for the White House kicked off in earnest, far too many romantic partnerships have gone down in flames — over an ill-timed assertion that Donald Trump actually has some good ideas; that Hillary Clinton is an evil, conniving, tax-and-spend liberal, corporate shill, crypto-conservative, secret socialist, liar, unredeemable she-demon whose one facial expression that one time disqualifies her from the presidency; or that John Kasich is strangely attractive in a median dad kind of way.

But it doesn't have to be that way!

Even if you're the world's biggest Ted Cruz booster and your significant other is the last remaining Martin O'Malley holdout, take heart! You can still make it work!

How do I know? There are couples all over this country doing it right now.

And I talked to some of them:

Pam and Bill Atkinson (top left), Rick Taft and Kristi Tollefson-Taft (top right), Bob Miller and Marilyn Cote Miller (bottom left), Rachelle Brady (bottom right). All photos used with permission.

Here are 13 of their secret tips for navigating a relationship with a partner who is so clearly, obviously, totally, 100% wrong about everything:

1. Find a common enemy.

Kristi Tollefson-Taft and Rick Taft. Photo by Kristi Tollefson-Taft, used with permission.

Longtime Obama supporter Kristi Tollefson-Taft told Upworthy that she used to chafe at her husband Rick's libertarian-conservative opinions until they both realized they'd rather listen to each other than the scream-ier voices from their respective parties.

"The loudest are the extremes from both sides. We talk about that a lot," Kristi said.

2. Don't drink the #haterade.

Marilyn Cote Miller and Bob Miller. Photo by Marilyn Cote Miller and Bob Miller, used with permission.

"I can disagree with somebody’s policy without taking it to the level of hate," Bob Miller told Upworthy. He, a longtime Republican, and his wife Marilyn, a Bernie Sanders supporter, almost never fight about politics despite differing on plenty of big issues.

The secret? They banned the word "hate" from their Tampa, Florida-area home — and aren't too proud to resort to bribery to enforce the embargo.

"My mother would often say, ‘I hate that actor’ or ‘I hate that ... anything,'" Marilyn said. "And Bob would say, ‘Jane, every time you say “hate,” I’m gonna charge you a quarter because we just don’t like the word.’ And so my mother started saying, ‘I strongly dislike…’ We did get her to stop using the word hate!"

3. Recognize that not agreeing on everything can actually be kind of fun and interesting sometimes.

No opinions lightly held among meerkats. Photo by Wensbos/Pixabay.

While the Millers debated the pros and cons of Obamacare along with the rest of the country, they never really came to a consensus — and they prefer it that way.

"How we actually resolved it is: We don’t resolve it," Marilyn said. She explained that not always seeing eye-to-eye has been a positive force in their relationship.

"I read a quote years ago. Years and years ago. Maybe 30 years ago. And I had it on my refrigerator forever, and it says, ‘If two people always agree, one of them isn’t thinking.’ And I love it," Marilyn said.

4. Designate a "politics-free zone" in your house. Even if it's the whole house.

Bill and Pam Atkinson. Photo by Bill and Pam Atkinson, used with permission.

That's what Pam and Bill Atkinson of Bloomington, Illinois, did — initially so they could have their (mostly Democrat-leaning) friends over without everyone going home angry.

"They don’t want to hear me be correct so much, being a Republican," Bill, a Donald Trump supporter, joked to Upworthy.

Pretty soon, the couple, who, according to Pam, disagree on "most everything," realized it was a good rule to abide by all the time. So they designated their whole house a "politics-free zone."

"We just don’t like to argue," Bill said.

5. If you do wind up debating each other, have a sense of humor about it.


Kennedy v. Nixon. Photo by United Press International/Wikimedia Commons.

Not liking to argue, however, doesn't prevent the Atkinsons from, well ... arguing. No more than 90 seconds into our conversation, the couple started going back and forth about the economic impact of a local prison.

"See! This is how it starts, and then it just goes downhill from there," Pam said, laughing.

Everyone seemed delighted, and no one's feelings appeared hurt. Sense of humor? Check.

6. On election nights, do something besides watch the news.

Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images.

Contrary to popular belief, there is no law requiring couples to stay home every Tuesday during primary season staring at their 24-hour news network of choice while making snide comments under their breath at one another.

Lucky for the Atkinsons, they realized this early on and decided it wasn't healthy for their relationship.

“Instead of staying home [on Super Tuesday] and watching the news or watching something, we’re gonna go to the Normal Theater to go see ‘The Quiet Man,'" Bill said.

7. You don't need to tell each other who you're voting for.

Clinton photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images. Trump photo by Rhona Wise/Getty Images.

Not only do Pam and Bill Atkinson rarely talk politics at home, but Pam has resolved to never, ever tell Bill who she's voting for.

It's so important to her that she would not reveal her choice for this article — even after Bill offered to leave the room.

"She never tells me. Even when it comes to presidential elections, she won’t tell me!" Bill said.

8. If you have to tease each other, make sure it's actually loving, not pretend-loving-but-actually-snarky.

"THIS IS HOW I EXPRESS MY AFFECTION DO YOU LOVE IT?!" Photo via iStock.

"The only thing I’ve said, and I posted it on Facebook, was that I used my vote to cancel out his," Pam said, laughing again.

9. Frame your political discussions as something you do together as a couple.

"We’ve been doing a lot of surmising, and political analyzation and sociological and psychological analyzation of the country at the moment," Kristi Tollefson-Taft said.

"Oh, I got a good one, Carl. Grass. Yay or nay?" Photo by nuzree/Pixabay.

The Tafts said they try hard not to impose their own beliefs on their children and prefer to teach them to think and talk critically about politics — and to always question their own biases.

"It became very clear that we need to tell them that there are numerous opinions on subjects and they should have, in their toolbox, ways to make their own judgments," Kristi said.

10. Make sure to remind yourself that your partner's politics are not necessarily the most important aspect of who they are.

Photo by DonkeyHotey/Flickr.

"My first marriage, I was married to somebody who talking politics [with] was like preaching to the choir, and that marriage didn’t last," Pam Atkinson recalled. "So I came to the realization that politics is not the end-all, be-all of a relationship."

It's a sentiment all the couples I spoke to shared.

“If you talk about a relationship, if the only thing you disagree on is politics, I’d say...” Bob Miller began.


"...we’re doing pretty good," Marilyn continued, finishing his sentence without missing a beat.

11. If the relationship can't work because your politics are too different, there's no shame in that.

Photo via iStock.

Rachelle Brady, a Bernie Sanders supporter, told Upworthy she was shocked when she found out her boyfriend was planning to vote for Donald Trump but that trying to change his views, ultimately, did more harm than good to the relationship.

"What that did was prevent me from actually loving him where he was as a person without trying to impose my expectations on him," Brady said.

She and her boyfriend eventually called it quits over what Brady described as a conflict of values. Brady believes ending things freed her to not only "live what she believes in," but to engage her ex in a more open and honest way.

"That type of perspective has made it possible for us to move forward in our relationship. So, it changed form, but we still have a relationship," Brady said.

12. Always assume your partner has good intentions, even if their opinions make you want to scream out an open window.

"I know you're just batting my face incessantly because you care, not because you want to scratch my eyeballs out." Photo by Prskavka/Wikimedia Commons.

The trick to a healthy political argument in a relationship, according to the Tafts, is always assuming your partner is coming from a good place no matter how much you might want to handcuff them to a chair and force them to watch Rachel Maddow (or Bill O'Reilly) until they get it, dammit.

"The secret sauce, in my mind, is recognizing and respecting that we can be different and not sitting in judgment of that difference," Rick Taft said.

13. Most importantly, never lose sight of what really matters most.

Photo by Bill and Pam Atkinson, used with permission.

"Different people are going to believe different things, and you know what? That’s OK," Rick Taft said.

"Our relationship is built on much more than our political point of view," Bob Miller said. Marilyn added: "It’s respect for each other, and it’s love."


"The fact that [Bill's] wrong in his political beliefs doesn’t make me love him any less," Pam Atkinson said.

If all else fails, just remember that in only eight months' time, you won't be arguing about politics anymore.

Photo by Chris Denny/Geograph.uk.

You'll be arguing about whether to buy a house in Canada instead.

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans 

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it. 

@binkythechichi2

The king of drama

♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

Andrew Huberman and a woman sleeping.

There is nothing worse than lying in your bed, with your mind racing, and you can’t fall asleep. The longer you lie in bed, the more anxious you get about falling asleep, which makes it even harder to catch some ZZZs. You've tried clearing your mind, but can’t. You’ve tried counting sheep but reached 100. What do you do now?

On a recent Real Time with Bill Maher, neuroscientist Andrew Huberman made an off-the-cuff remark about a sleep hack that he swears by, and it's based on brain research. Huberman is a Stanford University neuroscientist and tenured professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology. He's also the host of the popular podcast Huberman Lab, which focuses on health and science.

How to fall asleep fast

“In fact, if you wake up in the middle of the night and you're having trouble falling back asleep, try just doing some long, extended exhales. And get this, this sounds really weird, but it has a basis in physiology. Keep your eyes closed and just move your eyes from side to side behind your eyelids like this, back and forth,” Huberman told Maher as he moved his eyes from side to side as if he was surveying a vast landscape. “Do some long exhales. I can't promise, but I'm willing to wager like maybe one pinky, that within five minutes or so, you'll be back to sleep.”

- YouTube youtu.be

Andrew Huberman’s hack is based on neuroscience

Huberman explained the exercise in greater detail on Mark Bell's Power Project podcast. In his appearance, he discussed the interesting connection between our eyes and their connection to the amygdala, an almond-shaped part of the brain that controls our emotional response. “Eye movements of that sort actually do suppress the amygdala [to] make people feel calmer, less fearful,” Huberman said. He adds that when we are on a walk, we move our eyes from side to side, to analyze the terrain ahead of us, and the amygdala calms down.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“But for most people who are sighted, moving your eyes from side to side for 10 to 30 seconds is going to calm you down," Huberman said. "And this makes really good sense because, from an evolutionary perspective, an adaptive perspective, we've always been confronted with interpersonal threats and animal to human threats. Forward movement is the way that you suppress the fear response."

Americans aren’t getting enough sleep

Huberman’s video is important because many Americans need to get more sleep. A 2022 Gallup poll found that only 32% of Americans said they got “excellent” or “very good” sleep; 35% described their sleep as “good”; and 33% said their sleep was “fair” or “poor.”

Sleep is essential to maintaining good health. Getting at least seven hours of sleep a night is great for your memory, focus, emotional regulation, appetite, muscle recovery, and tissue repair. It also reduces the risk of chronic conditions like heart disease and diabetes. It’s great that Huberman shares his hack, which few people would have come up with without a background in neuroscience, to improve their sleep. It’s also another exciting way to show just how interconnected the body is, from eyes to brain and beyond. Sweet dreams.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Levi Strauss Foundation

Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


Photo Credit: Canva

A British Blue cat. Street cats in the alley.

Legend has it, and bear with me, that cats have a psychic secret society that only cats know about and can explain. It's not quite as crazy as it sounds. A woman named Mel Moon went viral on social media after telling the harrowing tale of her British Blue kitty, Wade, who had gone missing.

Moon passionately asks with her strong British accent, "Right, is this a coincidence or is there something to this crazy legend? I'm asking you." She goes on to explain what happened. "Okay a few days ago, my cat went missing." She flashes to a photo of the sassy grey cat. "There he is, the absolute d--khead. Anyway, I was devastated, downward spiral, couldn't cope. Did everything the RSPCA told me to do. Put his litter outside. Food. Water. Clothes with my scent on it. Went out searching at dusk. Went out searching at dawn. Wasn't going to bed until 5:30 in the morning because of that absolute prick, right? Would he come back? I was beyond worried, it was crazy."

@mel.moon.comedian

Missing cat? Try the Japanese missing cat method…

What she says next is truly thrilling. "And then someone left me a comment and asked 'Have you tried the Japanese Missing Cat Method?' I've never heard of this method, but apparently what you've got to do is this. You've basically got to go out onto the street, find a stray or street cat. Crouch down to its level and whisper to it that you've lost your cat. Describe your cat in detail, give the cat your cat's name, and then tell the cat how much your cat means to you and then give it a reward. Kind of like a retainer fee, right?"

Here's how Moon claims it works. "That cat will then go and find your cat. So I did that. As if people didn't think I'm crazy enough. I'm out in my back garden talking to my patio cats like, 'Please, I've lost my British Blue. His name is Wade. I've had him for three years, he means the world to me. I'll do anything if you bring him back, please! Here's some ham, here's some turkey - please bring him home.'"

cats, Japanese missing cat method, tiktok, legends A cat walks around and sits on a bench. Giphy GIF by Studycat

She looks straight into the camera as her eyes widen. "Well I s--t you not. Ten minutes after I did that, this prick starts running down the street screaming for me." She flashes to an emotional picture of her holding Wade. "Ten minutes after I sent this little cat off to find mine, this one rocks up at my door. Is this a coincidence? Have you heard of the Japanese Missing Cat Theory? Because it's a real legend, and oh my God. If it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. But the prick is back. And totally grounded!"

The over 1,000 commenters on one Facebook post alone seem to totally support this, having had similar experiences. One writes, "Yes! We were told that the fastest way for our cat to come home was to go out and cuddle/pet a neighborhood cat. She was missing for three days and we had signs up and we would follow leads to try to find her. Only 5 hours after we pet a neighborhood cat, she came home (through a window we left open). It’s 100% true!"

Another confirms, "It works - I have tried it - asked a cat on the street 'have you seen my kitty - he went out in the morning and has not come back' and it turned and walked and I followed him straight to my cat who was up a tree playing."

On TikTok, the original video has over half a million likes and over ten thousand comments, many of them—of course—cat memes. One hilariously writes, "‘Wade, look man, you better get home, your mom out here crying handing out deli meats’ - cats probably."

Not to be outdone, this clever TikToker jokes, "I have never heard this, but my husband swears that they speak to each other. He calls it 'word of meowth.'"

The lore is fascinating, but some are cynical. In a post for Japan Today, Owen McGee pushes back against skeptics, claiming they "might be quick to jump to conclusions, pointing out that there could be any number of reasons explaining why the cat returned home, and that the timing was just sheer coincidence. However, what surprised everyone was the number of responses from other people who said they had similar results with their own lost pets after speaking to stray animals in the area, leaving us wondering if this method might really just work."


A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”

While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

Three elderly nuns broke into their old convent and refuse to leave

Three elderly Austrian nuns made a daring escape from their nursing home to return to their shuttered convent. Their decision to flee the Catholic care home was driven by frustration over having their choice taken away and the desire to return to live out their days in the only home they knew.

Sister Bernadette, 88, Sister Regina, 86, and Sister Rita, 82, have lived in the Schloss Goldenstein castle since they were very young adults. The castle was converted into a convent in 1877, and also served as an all-girls Catholic school. Sister Regina arrived at the convent in 1958, followed by Sister Rita around 1962. However, Sister Bernadette has been at the convent since she was a teenager, attending the girls' school. Their love for the Schloss Goldenstein convent runs deep, but their plans to live out their retirement there were abruptly interrupted.

elderly nuns; escape retirement home; break into convent; nuns break into convent; Austrian nuns Nuns standing before a grand cathedral facade.Photo credit: Canva

Before retirement, all of the nuns were teachers at the school, which began accepting boys in 2017, according to the BBC. In 2022, the convent and school were placed under the Archdiocese of Salzburg and the Reichersberg Abbey. The number of nuns continued to dwindle, eventually resulting in the dissolution of the convent in 2024. Still, the three elderly nuns were granted the "lifelong right of residence" in the convent for as long as their mental and physical abilities allowed them to live independently.

But the nuns' plans were upended without warning just before the official dissolution of the convent. They were moved to the Catholic care home without consultation or much choice. This caused the nuns to be sad about their circumstances and resulted in homesickness, so they collectively decided that they were going back home, whether they had permission to do so or not.

Sister Bernadette tells the BBC, "We weren't asked. We had the right to stay here until the end of our lives and that was broken."

The three nuns packed their bags, and with the help of a few former students, they made the trek back to their convent, which had been abandoned. There was no electricity or running water when they returned, and their individual apartments had new locks placed on them. None of this deterred the nuns from returning to their home. They contacted a locksmith to get their doors open, and with the help of the community, the water and electricity have been partially restored.

While the community and nuns are thrilled, Provost Markus Grasl from Reichersberg Abbey, who is the nuns' superior, is far from excited about their return. According to CNN, Provost Grasal exclaims, "The rooms in the monastery are no longer usable and in no way meet the requirements for orderly care. It is clear that an independent life in the Goldenstein Monastery is no longer possible, particularly due to the precarious health situation of the sisters.” He later added in a September statement that he fears the nuns "are overestimating themselves and that a medical emergency may occur.”

Turns out Provost Grasal may be the one underestimating not only the nuns, but the community that loves them. Former students have been bringing them groceries and other items that they need. They are checked on often by community members and a local physician.

elderly nuns; escape retirement home; break into convent; nuns break into convent; Austrian nuns A nun prays silently beside a sunlit window.Photo credit: Canva

One of their former students, Sophie Tauscher, tells the BBC, "Goldenstein without the nuns is just not possible. When they need us, they just have to call us and we will be there, for sure. The nuns here changed so many lives in such a good way."

"I am so pleased to be home," Sister Rita tells the outlet. "I was always homesick at the care home. I am so happy and thankful to be back."

But Sister Bernadette has a bit of a stronger tone, saying, "I have been obedient all my life, but it was too much," before later adding, "Before I die in that old people's home, I would rather go to a meadow and enter eternity that way."

No, this is not a case of old folks not being "with it."

Different generations rarely see eye to eye on many things, but no topic seems to be so heavily debated as how to properly communicate via texting.

In the one camp, you’ve got the youngins who grew up with texting specifically—Gen Alphas, Gen Zers, and even millennials to a certain extent. In the other camp, you’ve got boomers, Gen Xers, and again, millennials who might not have texted all their lives, but certainly have more working knowledge of basic grammar and written communication.

So who’s the real authority? Ask a million different people, and you’ll get a million different answers. This is certainly the situation we find ourselves in with this story.

Recently, Jason Saperstone, a 22-year-old publicist in New York City, whose content consists mainly of cheeky, satirical PowerPoint presentations, created one centered on educating his parents on proper texting etiquette. Yes. He was attempting to educate them.

The primary learning point? The “exclamation” or “emphasis” reaction, aka “tapback” that you can attach to a message. According to Saperstone, his parents were using it wrong.

"Mom and Dad, I love you, but you need to get better at texting," he said at the beginning of his lesson. "So the thing we’re going to be working on today is how to use the emphasis."

According to Saperstone, you react with an emphasis when:

  • You agree with the sender.
  • You find yourself in the same situation.
  • Someone is ignoring you and you want their attention.

Is this news to you? Are you wondering if Gen Z actually understands what the original meaning behind an exclamation point even is? Or any punctuation, for that matter? You’re not alone.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids We can't even agree on basic grammar?! media0.giphy.com

Saperstone’s parents (rightfully…sorry, my bias is showing) thought it should be used to show excitement or enthusiasm. For example, when he let them know that he happened to be in the bar that Alex Cooper, host of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, was at, his mother used the emphasis tapback because she was “excited” for him.

“That would mean that you’re also at the bar with Alex Cooper," Saperstone argued, saying that she should have “liked” the message with a thumb’s up. Which, may I add, was previously labeled as "passive aggressive” by Gen Z…so why are we giving them carte blanche on all things text communications?

Luckily for Saperstone’s parents, folks rallied in the comment section either by agreeing with his mom’s interpretation…

“DISAGREE with the presenter and AGREE with mom. The emphasis on the Alex Cooper text conveys ‘holy sh**! That’s awesome!’”

“I kind of agree with Mom here! I use it like ‘omg, whaaat?’ Like in response to someone telling me something wild or exciting.”

“Not us all agreeing with Mom 💀 if you send me a thumbs up when I send you exciting news imma cry.”

…or by declaring that Gen Zers don’t hold ultimate authority on this topic.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids When it comes to texting…the kids are NOT alright. media4.giphy.com

“Taking communication advice from Gen Z is like taking financial advice from Boomers.”

“Ok emphasis is an exclamation point and in grammar (which hasn’t changed its rules) it expresses excitement or surprise. So the older generation uses it as intended and the younger generation is making up their own rules.”

“What cracks me up is the fact that he thinks his generation gets to decide the meaning of ‘!!’ or any other emoji. Just because that’s what you have decided that’s what it means doesn’t mean you’re correct, or that another meaning of it is necessarily wrong. It means different things to different generations, and that’s actually perfectly ok. 😊”

And honestly, it’s the latter point that really hits home here. When it comes to texting, we can all agree to disagree with certain nuances. But in no way, shape, or form does Gen Z get to enforce its own made-up linguistic rules upon the rest of the world. Sorry. You can reclaim low rise jeans if you want, but we’re keeping basic grammar.