When his mother started losing her memories, he found a creative way to save them.

Tony Luciani first fell in love with photography after his mother, Elia, fell and broke her hip.

While she was recovering, it became obvious that her memory was noticeably deteriorating, so her brother suggested moving her into a retirement home. But Tony, a full-time painter who worked from home, wouldn't hear of it. He knew that he should be the one to care for her.

Coincidentally, it was around that time that Tony bought a camera to take photos of his artwork.


One day, he was trying out the camera, taking photos in a mirror, when his mom came up to use the bathroom. He told her, "Five more minutes," but after that turned into an hour, he noticed his mom peeking around the corner to see if he was done yet. He caught it on camera.

"Photo Bombing Momma." All photos by Tony Luciani, used with permission.

"Then she jumped out in front and put her hands up in the air and started going 'blah blah blah blah!' and then waved," says Tony. "And I thought, 'Oh my god, this is so great.'"

The hilarious encounter was the catalyst for Tony's first photo series, "Mamma: In the Meantime."

Elia holding up a mirror with an image of herself as a child in it.

The collaboration between mother and son was a most symbiotic relationship. It reignited Elia's sense of purpose and Tony had an eager, full-time model at his disposal.

"It got to the point where I’d be painting and she’d come over to me and say, 'OK, I’m bored. Let’s do some pictures,'" Tony recalls.

The series was meant to be an homage to her life as well as the struggles of living with dementia. Her memory was leaving her, so he wanted to record as much as she could remember before it was totally lost.

"She’d tell me these stories, and I would jot the ideas down and come up with visuals in my head," Tony says.

When a child has a child. Elia standing with her walker.

"What she remembers most is when she was a little girl," he continues. "She doesn’t remember what happened 10 minutes ago, but she does remember what happened 70, 80 years ago."

Hearing the stories of her youth was especially rewarding for Tony because when he was a kid, she had worked long hours in a sewing factory, so he didn't get to spend much time with her. However, her dedication to her job always impressed him.

Elia was in charge of her entire floor which included 50 sewers who spoke a number of different languages. She actually took it upon herself to learn eight or nine languages just so she could properly communicate with them.

But despite all her language prowess, she'd never really traveled. So Tony took her on a world tour — through photos.

Elia in Egypt.

While they didn't really travel to far-away places — thanks to image editing software — they may as well have, considering the fun they had getting the shots.

Elia in Paris.

"The process of getting the end results is what I remember the most," Tony says. "The laughter and the giggling and the craziness."

Elia balancing on the Great Wall of China.

And as the photos show, his mom had a great time too.

"She felt worthy again," Tony says. "Like her life wasn’t over. And her life isn’t over — and she’s proved that over and over again."

While caring for his mother hasn't always been easy for Tony, what he got in return far outweighed any inconvenience.

Tony and Elia's hands.

Aside from a number of incredible photo series and his mom's memories beautifully immortalized, Tony has also connected with many other people who've either been caregivers or are about to become caregivers.

It all came out of the simple act of posting his photos in photography forums  to get feedback on how he could improve his technique.

"I had photographers saying, 'Oh my gosh, I wish I had done that with my mother or grandmother, but I will do that with my aunt or another loved one.' I think I encouraged people just by posting my photos."

Sadly, Elia no longer remembers her son's name, but Tony is so grateful for the three years he got to spend saying goodbye to her.

"She Ain't Heavy." Elia in Tony's arms.

"My dad died, and I wasn’t there," Tony says. "My brother passed away 15 years ago, and I wasn’t there. I never had the chance to say goodbye. This is my chance to say goodbye, even though she might outlive us all."

When children become their parents' caregivers, there can be many challenges, even if they don't have a degenerative disease like dementia. It can become easy to view them as a stressor or an inconvenience.

Tony's experience with his mother is a testament to what happens when you don't do that. When you listen to your aging loved one and try to find a way to connect with them again, it can change everything.

Even if you don't create art, the effort will leave you with incredible new memories — the likes of which you may have never imagined.

Family

A celebrated teacher's 5-point explanation of why she's quitting has gone viral.

"The school system is broken. It may be broken beyond repair."

Talented, dedicated teachers are leaving public schools because the system makes it too hard to truly educate kids.

When I studied to become a teacher in college, I learned what education can and should be. I learned about educational psychology and delved into research about how to reach different learners, and couldn't wait to put that knowledge into practice in the classroom.

But after graduating and starting to teach, I quickly saw how the school system makes it almost impossible to put what we know about real learning into practice. The structure and culture of the system simply isn't designed for it.

The developmental default of childhood is to learn. That's why four-year-olds ask hundreds of questions a day, why kids can spend hours experimenting and exploring in nature, and why kids are so much better at figuring out how to use technology. Children are natural, fearless learners when their curiosity is nurtured and they are given an environment where learning can take place.

Most teachers know this. And many find themselves so frustrated by trying to teach within an outdated, ineffective system that they decide to leave. I only lasted a couple of years before deciding other avenues of education were worth exploring. A viral post written by a celebrated teacher highlights why many teachers are doing the same thing.

Michelle Maile was a first grade teacher before she resigned this month, and her 5-point explanation of why she did it is resonating with thousands.

Maile shared on Facebook why she, a celebrated teacher in a great school district, decided to turn in her classroom keys. Her post has been shared more than 67,000 times and has thousands of comments, mostly in solidarity.

"Why would a teacher of the year nominee, who loves what she does, who has the best team, the best students and parents, and was lucky enough to be at the best elementary school not want to come back?", she wrote. "Let me tell you why….

1. Class size. Everything in my training, what I know about kids and what I see every day says that early childhood classes should be at 24 or less. (ideally 22 or less) Kids are screaming for attention. There are so many students who have social or emotional disorders. They NEED their teacher to take time to listen to them. They NEED their teacher to see them. They NEED less students in their class. The people making these decisions are NOT looking out for the students' best interests, and have very obviously NEVER taught elementary kids.

2. Respect. I feel disrespected by the district all year long. They don't trust that I know what I am doing. I have a college degree, go to trainings every year, read books and articles about kids, and most importantly, work with kids every day. I KNOW something about how they learn and what works best for them. Please listen to us.

3. Testing. Stop testing young kids. It doesn't do anyone any good. Do you know which kids slept poorly last night? Do you know who didn't have breakfast? Do you know whose parents are fighting? Do you know who forgot their glasses and can't see the computer? Do you know who struggles to read, but has come so far, just not on your timeline? You don't, but I do. I know some of my best students score poorly on their tests because of life circumstances. I know some of my lower students guessed their way through and got lucky. Why stress kids out by testing them? How about you ask ME, the professional, how they are doing? Ask ME, the teacher who sees these kids every single day. Ask ME, the teacher who knows the handwriting of all 27 kids. Ask ME, the adult in their life who may be more constant than their own parents. Ask ME, then let me teach.

4. I felt like I was drowning. So many things beyond teaching are pushed on teachers. Go to this extra meeting, try this new curriculum, watch this video, then implement it in to your next lesson, fill out this survey monkey to let us know how you feel (even though it won't make any difference), make clothes for the school play, you need to pay for that yourself because there's no money from the school for it. There's no music teacher today, so you don't get a planning time. There are weeks I truly felt like I was drowning and couldn't get a breath until Friday at 5:00. (NOT 3:00)

5. Pay. I knew becoming a teacher would never make me rich. That has never been my goal. I wanted to work with kids. I wanted to help kids. I wanted to make enough money to take care of my own kids. Sadly this isn't the case for so many teachers who have to work two jobs to support their own families. This isn't right."

Maile says the system may be broken beyond repair, which is why she's tapping into a growing educational movement.

"The school system is broken," Maile continued. "It may be broken beyond repair. Why are counselors being taken away when we need them more than ever? Why are art and music classes disappearing when these forms of expression have been proven to release stress in an overstressed world. Why are librarians being cut when we should be encouraging kids to pick up an actual book instead of being behind a screen? Do you know how many elementary students are on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications? Look. The number will astound you.

So where am I going? Because I still love kids and want to help them with their education, I will be an online charter school teacher. I will be helping families who have chosen to homeschool their kids. They also see that the school system is broken. When I told my school I was leaving, I had multiple veteran teachers say, 'I would do the same if I was younger.' 'I am so glad you are getting out now.' 'It is only going to get worse.' 'I don't see it ever getting better.'

It makes me sad. I have three kids that are still part of this public school system. If you are a public school parent, fight. Fight for your kids. Fight for smaller class sizes and pay raises for overworked teachers. Fight to keep art and music in the schools. Please support teachers whenever and wherever you can. I have been so lucky to have so many amazing parents. I couldn't have done what I have without them. I am sad to leave, but happy to go."

What do you do when an enormous system has so many inherent flaws it feels impossible to change it?

What to do about public education a hard question. Many former teachers like myself strongly believe in public schooling as a foundational element of civilized society, but simply can't see how to make it work well without dismantling the whole thing and starting over.

When I chose to educate my own kids, I was surprised by how many former teachers end up in the homeschooling community. Many of the most well-known proponents of homeschooling were or are public school teachers who advocate for more effective models of education than what we see in the system. There's a lot that could be debated here, but alternative models may be the best places to look for answers to the question of how to fix the system.

At the very least, until we start moving away from copious amounts of testing and toward trusting educators (and paying them well) to do what they've been trained to do, we're going to keep losing great teachers—making an already problematic system even worse.

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