Heroes
What A Turnoff: How Vampire Energy Is Bleeding Us Dry
Time to unplug thecoffeemaker and save some money, er, I mean the planet.
12.30.12
Let's Do More Together
Inspired by Reddit co-founder, parents model anti-racist behavior for the next generation
07.31.20
True
It is said that once you've seen something, you can't unsee it. This is exactly what is happening in America right now. We have collectively watched the pot of racial tension boil over after years of looking the other way, insisting that hot water doesn't exist, pretending not to notice the smoke billowing out from every direction.
Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away—it prolongs resolution. There's a whole lot of harm to be remedied and damage to be repaired as a result of racial injustice, and it's up to all of us to figure out how to do that. Parents, in particular, are recognizing the importance of raising anti-racist children; if we are unable to completely eradicate racism, maybe the next generation will.
How can parents ensure that the next generation will actively refuse to perpetuate systems and behaviors embedded in racism? The most obvious answer is to model it. Take for example, professional tennis player Serena Williams and her husband, Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian.
<p>
Ohanian, who is white, recently stepped down from his position at Reddit and asked the board to replace him with a person of color, calling the lack of people of color in positions of power an "unacceptable gap." He stated
<u><a href="https://twitter.com/alexisohanian/status/1268943033137053698" target="_blank">on Twitter</a></u> that he wants to be able to face his daughter if she asks one day "What did YOU do?"
</p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
I co-founded
<a href="https://twitter.com/reddit?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@reddit</a> 15 years ago to help people find community and a sense of belonging.⁰<br>
<br>
It is long overdue to do the right thing. I'm doing this for me, for my family, and for my country.
<br>
— Alexis Ohanian Sr. 🚀 (@alexisohanian)
<a href="https://twitter.com/alexisohanian/status/1268943033137053698?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2020</a>
</blockquote><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"> </script></div><p>
His decision to step down arrives at a time when the United States is witnessing widespread protests against racism and police brutality after an unarmed Black man, George Floyd, died at the hands of the police. On his
<u><a href="https://alexisohanian.com/home/2020/6/5/what-did-you-do" target="_blank">personal website</a></u> Ohanian wrote, "I believe resignation can actually be an act of leadership from people in power right now. To everyone fighting to fix our broken nation: do not stop."<br>
</p><p>
Ohanian's actions are admirable, but his position isn't a common one. Most parents don't have a job that they can step away from without causing their families serious financial problems. There are, however, plenty of other ways to model anti-racist behavior.
</p><p>
"...Parents have the responsibility to combat racism, bias, and discrimination, starting with the socialization of their own children," writes Dr.
<u><a href="https://sanford.duke.edu/people/faculty/lansford-jennifer" target="_blank">Jennifer E. Lansford</a></u>, a Research Professor at the Sanford School of Public Policy and Faculty Fellow of the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University, in <u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202006/parenting-combat-racism-bias-and-discrimination" target="_blank">this article</a></u> about how parents can work to fight racism. "<u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202006/parenting-combat-racism-bias-and-discrimination" target="_blank">A new approach is needed</a></u>—one that does not burden parents of color as the only ones responsible for the racial-ethnic socialization of their children."
</p><p>
But what kind of new approach?
</p><p>
First and most importantly, parents can register to vote and bring their child(ren) along when casting their ballot. It's important for kids to see the democratic process, and discussing why participation in that process is an honor and a privilege increases the likelihood that children will exercise their future right to vote.
</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1466780446965-2072a3de8a43?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=400&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEzMzIxMn0" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUyNzEzOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMTc2NzkyNn0.d6hs2L6Sb03igjNqLr-LBIryHku11UC4aj0m3NPANCA/img.jpg?width=980" id="0ea04" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="feca73cd2018ec25507a5fabc70938a1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@eagleboobs?utm_source=RebelMouse&utm_medium=referral">Elliott Stallion</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=RebelMouse&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a>
</small>
</p><p>
Additionally, parents have to be willing to get creative and think outside the box. <u><a href="http://bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES" target="_blank">This resource guide is a great place to start</a></u>. Simple things like adding new podcasts into the rotation or expanding your family's library of books can make a huge difference in how our children view the world. The point is to be informed and intentional.<br>
</p><p>
Seeking out diversity, talking about race from an early age, celebrating our differences, even making a point to give our kids toys that look different than them, are all small but easy things parents and caregivers can do to instill anti-racism.
</p><p>
Look around and think about what kind of environment you are creating for your children. Does everyone look the same? If so, whether you mean to or not, you're helping to create unconscious bias within your child. Our kids are watching, and they will model what we teach them.
</p><p>
<strong><em><span></span>Turn your everyday actions into acts of good at <a href="https://bit.ly/2AfA27u" target="_blank">P&G Good Everyday</a>.</em></strong>
</p>
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popular
Former President George W. Bush pays tribute to immigrants with a new book of paintings
08.07.20
Former President George W. Bush and current president Donald Trump may both be Republicans but they have contrasting views when it comes to immigration.
Trump has been one of the most anti-immigrant presidents of recent memory. His Administration separated undocumented families at the border, placed bans on travelers from majority-Muslim countries, and he's proudly proclaimed, "Our country is full."
George W. Bush's legacy on immigration is a bit more nuanced. He ended catch-and-release and called for heightened security at the U.S.-Mexico border, but he also championed an immigration bill that created a guest worker program and a pathway to citizenship for undocumented people.
Unfortunately, that bill did not pass.
<p>Bush has alluded to his disagreement with Trump over immigration policies in an interview with <a href="https://people.com/politics/george-w-bush-to-release-book-of-paintings-featuring-americas-immigrants/" target="_blank">People in 2017.</a></p><p>"I don't like the racism and the name-calling, and I don't like the people feeling alienated," Bush said. "I didn't feel like speaking out before because I didn't want to complicate the job. However, at the Bush Center, we are speaking up ... through actions defending the values important to Laura and me."</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU0MTcyNy9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMjg0MzU1NH0.xicYldOcH_4KzIG0K1sqctDXQdtu4Ecdme2xkE3170s/img.jpg?width=980" id="fdbc3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ec4789768b41beaa6700c4172b4ab2d2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">via Crown</small></p><p>Bush is celebrating American immigrants with a new book of paintings "Out Of Many, One: Portraits of America's Immigrants" which will be published on March 2. It includes 43 portraits by the 43rd president. Many of the subjects are people he knows personally.<br></p><p>It's hard not to notice the political statement the book makes coming out at time when the current Republican president, and party at-large have, made anti-immigrant sentiment a big part of their collective identity.</p><p>"While I recognize that immigration can be an emotional issue, I reject the premise that it is a partisan issue. It is perhaps the most American of issues, and it should be one that unites us," Bush writes in the new book's introduction.</p><p>"My hope is that this book will help focus our collective attention on the positive impacts that immigrants are making on our country," he adds.</p><div id="d1bf4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cbbc9bf3d6cc2c369f13254424dc106d"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="4" style=" background:#FFF; border:0;
border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);
margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px);
width:calc(100% - 2px);">
<div style="padding:8px;">
<div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50% 0; text-align:center;
width:100%;">
<div style=" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);
display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;">
</div></div><p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;">
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CDj1RoEJaIc/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif;
font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;
word-wrap:break-word;" target="_top">Login • Instagram</a></p>
</div></blockquote></div><p>The book will serve as a companion piece for Bus's upcoming art exhibition at the George W. Bush Presidential Center in Dallas, Texas.<br></p><p>"Both 'Out of Many, One" and the exhibition of the same name will include bold, principle-based solutions that comprehensively address the current debate on immigration," Crown, the book's publisher, says.</p><p>"At the heart of the recommendations is the belief that every year that passes without reforming the nation's broken system means missed opportunities to ensure the future prosperity, vitality, and security of our country," the statement continues.</p><p>A portion of the proceeds from "Out of Many, One" will go to help immigrants resettle.</p><p>Bush's persona as president was a tough-talking Texan, so his love for painting has been a rather surprising development in his post-presidential life.</p><p>He was inspired to paint after learning of Winston Churchill's love of the art. His passion for painting became public knowledge after his sister's email was hacked in 2013, revealing some of his artwork.</p><p>Since, he's been very public about his hobby, publishing a book of paintings of military veterans, "Portraits of Courage," in 2017.</p><p>"It keeps me active, so I'm not on the couch chewing potato chips all the time," Bush said <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2017/02/27/politics/george-w-bush-paintings/index.html" target="_blank">according to CNN.</a> "It's one of the great learning experiences."</p>
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Let's Do More Together
Inspired by Reddit co-founder, parents model anti-racist behavior for the next generation
07.31.20
True
It is said that once you've seen something, you can't unsee it. This is exactly what is happening in America right now. We have collectively watched the pot of racial tension boil over after years of looking the other way, insisting that hot water doesn't exist, pretending not to notice the smoke billowing out from every direction.
Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away—it prolongs resolution. There's a whole lot of harm to be remedied and damage to be repaired as a result of racial injustice, and it's up to all of us to figure out how to do that. Parents, in particular, are recognizing the importance of raising anti-racist children; if we are unable to completely eradicate racism, maybe the next generation will.
How can parents ensure that the next generation will actively refuse to perpetuate systems and behaviors embedded in racism? The most obvious answer is to model it. Take for example, professional tennis player Serena Williams and her husband, Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian.
<p>
Ohanian, who is white, recently stepped down from his position at Reddit and asked the board to replace him with a person of color, calling the lack of people of color in positions of power an "unacceptable gap." He stated
<u><a href="https://twitter.com/alexisohanian/status/1268943033137053698" target="_blank">on Twitter</a></u> that he wants to be able to face his daughter if she asks one day "What did YOU do?"
</p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
I co-founded
<a href="https://twitter.com/reddit?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@reddit</a> 15 years ago to help people find community and a sense of belonging.⁰<br>
<br>
It is long overdue to do the right thing. I'm doing this for me, for my family, and for my country.
<br>
— Alexis Ohanian Sr. 🚀 (@alexisohanian)
<a href="https://twitter.com/alexisohanian/status/1268943033137053698?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2020</a>
</blockquote><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"> </script></div><p>
His decision to step down arrives at a time when the United States is witnessing widespread protests against racism and police brutality after an unarmed Black man, George Floyd, died at the hands of the police. On his
<u><a href="https://alexisohanian.com/home/2020/6/5/what-did-you-do" target="_blank">personal website</a></u> Ohanian wrote, "I believe resignation can actually be an act of leadership from people in power right now. To everyone fighting to fix our broken nation: do not stop."<br>
</p><p>
Ohanian's actions are admirable, but his position isn't a common one. Most parents don't have a job that they can step away from without causing their families serious financial problems. There are, however, plenty of other ways to model anti-racist behavior.
</p><p>
"...Parents have the responsibility to combat racism, bias, and discrimination, starting with the socialization of their own children," writes Dr.
<u><a href="https://sanford.duke.edu/people/faculty/lansford-jennifer" target="_blank">Jennifer E. Lansford</a></u>, a Research Professor at the Sanford School of Public Policy and Faculty Fellow of the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University, in <u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202006/parenting-combat-racism-bias-and-discrimination" target="_blank">this article</a></u> about how parents can work to fight racism. "<u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202006/parenting-combat-racism-bias-and-discrimination" target="_blank">A new approach is needed</a></u>—one that does not burden parents of color as the only ones responsible for the racial-ethnic socialization of their children."
</p><p>
But what kind of new approach?
</p><p>
First and most importantly, parents can register to vote and bring their child(ren) along when casting their ballot. It's important for kids to see the democratic process, and discussing why participation in that process is an honor and a privilege increases the likelihood that children will exercise their future right to vote.
</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1466780446965-2072a3de8a43?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&w=400&fit=max&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEzMzIxMn0" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUyNzEzOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMTc2NzkyNn0.d6hs2L6Sb03igjNqLr-LBIryHku11UC4aj0m3NPANCA/img.jpg?width=980" id="0ea04" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="feca73cd2018ec25507a5fabc70938a1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@eagleboobs?utm_source=RebelMouse&utm_medium=referral">Elliott Stallion</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=RebelMouse&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a>
</small>
</p><p>
Additionally, parents have to be willing to get creative and think outside the box. <u><a href="http://bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES" target="_blank">This resource guide is a great place to start</a></u>. Simple things like adding new podcasts into the rotation or expanding your family's library of books can make a huge difference in how our children view the world. The point is to be informed and intentional.<br>
</p><p>
Seeking out diversity, talking about race from an early age, celebrating our differences, even making a point to give our kids toys that look different than them, are all small but easy things parents and caregivers can do to instill anti-racism.
</p><p>
Look around and think about what kind of environment you are creating for your children. Does everyone look the same? If so, whether you mean to or not, you're helping to create unconscious bias within your child. Our kids are watching, and they will model what we teach them.
</p><p>
<strong><em><span></span>Turn your everyday actions into acts of good at <a href="https://bit.ly/2AfA27u" target="_blank">P&G Good Everyday</a>.</em></strong>
</p>
Keep Reading
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My father trafficked me throughout my entire childhood. It looked nothing like people think.
07.31.20
I saw this poster today and I was going to just let it go, but then I kept feeling tugged to say something.
While this poster is great to bring attention to the issue of child trafficking, it is a "shocking" picture of a young girl tied up. It has that dark gritty feeling. I picture her in a basement tied to a dripping pipe.
While that sounds awful, it's important to know that trafficking children in the US is not all of that. I can't say it never is—I don't know. What I do know is most young trafficked children aren't sitting in a basement tied up. They have families, and someone—usually in their family—is trafficking them.
<p>I'm pretty open about my story. My father trafficked me from the ages of about 5 or 6 until I was a teenager. Knowing this, I can say, I was never once tied up in a dark place such as this picture. It's important for people to educate themselves on what trafficking can really look like.<br></p><p>Many, many times I walked into an amusement parks dressing room—Hershey, Dorney, etc.—with my father, told to wait in the stall, and a few minutes later another man came in acting like he was looking for his daughter. And that easily, a "drop" was made. Out I would walk holding his hand, nothing anyone would think twice about. Usually I'd be given something like an ice cream cone, etc. </p><p>And like me, these children are often not treated "badly." I mean, yes, they're treated awfully and violated beyond words. I mean they're are not hit, tied up, or beat up. Most of the time, they're treated with fake kindness (which really fucks up children's trust later on in life). But they're often praised, given treats, and made to feel like what is happening is a good (and normal or because they're special).</p><p>How many vacations we went on where I was left for a minute at the pool, until a man came and I left with him for a while. Airports where I was passed over to another man in a crowd, looking like any girl going from her dad or uncle to her dad or uncle. Again, a public drop and nothing suspicious.</p><p>Most children trafficked in the US are so conditioned they don't know anything else. It's their normal. I think back as an adult and think, "Why didn't I scream out for help? Make a scene?" But I had to forgive my inner child. There was no reason I knew to scream out for help. I wasn't in danger; this was just my normal life.</p><p>I say all of this to simply say, it's really important we bring attention to child trafficking in the US. VERY important. And posters like this can get the conversation going, but we also need to educate people that it doesn't all look like this. I lived in Robesonia, a tiny nothing town. My father was a little league coach. My mother knew and helped some with these happenings; and she was just a stay-at-home, small town mom. These things happen everywhere and can look very normal.</p><p>Best thing we can do is talk to children. We don't need to be graphic; but teachers, schools, need to talk to children about things like this in a child-safe way. Assume these children aren't being taken to doctors. Teachers can make a huge difference. Talk to children. Go with your gut. Schools need to not be scared to act on what they feel. Conrad Wesier had a social worker in the elementary school who pulled me out of class on more than one occasion after teachers noticed "things" and it went nowhere. Social services were never notified. And they should have been. Period.</p><p>And what you can do is watch. Pay attention. Be mindful. If you're waiting in line at a park, notice who goes in and out with what child. If you see something; speak up. If you're wrong, fine you ruined someone's day, apologize. If you're right, you saved someone's life.<a href="https://www.facebook.com/ufi/reaction/profile/browser/?ft_ent_identifier=ZmVlZGJhY2s6MTAxNTgyMzUxOTMyNTE5NzA%3D&av=754553191" target="_blank"><em></em></a></p><p><em>This post originally appeared on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MelanieCholishsBook/posts/102675324870555" target="_blank">Melanie Cholish's Facebook page</a>. It has been edited lightly for publication. </em></p>
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Dad coaching his 4-yr-old through a harrowing cheer stunt mistake is peak patient parenting
08.07.20
Roland Pollard and his 4-year-old daughter Jayden have been doing cheer and tumbling stunts together since Jayden could walk. When you see videos of their skills, the level of commitment is apparent—as is the supportive relationship this daddy has with his daughter.
Pollard, a former competitive cheerleader and cheer coach, told In The Know that he didn't expect Jayden to catch on to her flying skills at age 3, but she did. He said he never pressures her to perform stunts and that she enjoys it. And as a viral video of Jayden almost falling during a stunt shows, excelling at a skill requires good teaching—something Pollard appears to have mastered.
<p>Twitter user Toya Rochelle shared a TikTok video of Pollard's in which Jayden makes a mistake on a move and falls. Pollard first checked to make sure she was okay. Then he matter-of-factly pointed out the mistake and explained the importance of listening to instructions, while also letting her know that he wasn't going to let her fall. "Daddy will always save you," he said.</p><p>Once she was calm and they'd talked through what happened, they tried again. This time, with success. </p>
<div id="34a36" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2f8df80ddbadf058752aafda86a5ca54"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1290938400938299392" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">@ToyaRochelle there’s more to this cuteness 🥺 https://t.co/92mmSdZUg5</div> — n. (@n.)<a href="https://twitter.com/ii_amNeo/statuses/1290938400938299392">1596618673.0</a></blockquote></div>
<p>Another Twitter user pointed out that there was more video that followed this interaction, showing how sweet this dad-daughter duo's relationship really is. After a high-five and an "I'm so proud of you," Pollard asked if Jayden was ready to go get some ice cream, but she just wanted to go home and have some real food. Really, it's the little things in their exchange that are the sweetest. For instance, she accidentally kicks him when he puts her on his shoulders and says, "Sorry," and he instantly responds, "That's okay." So calm, so considerate. It's clear that there's no shortage of love, trust and security here.</p><p>Some watching the videos may feel that these kinds of cheer moves are too dangerous for a child. In an interview with <a href="https://www.eonline.com/news/1134072/meet-the-father-daughter-duo-whose-cheer-stunts-have-the-internet-flipping-out" target="_blank">E! News</a>, Pollard explained that despite how the stunts may look to the public, he wouldn't let anything happen to Jayden. </p><p>"I believe that fear is a taught or learned trait and I've never given her a reason to be afraid," he said. "Any flyer I have trained knows that I will catch them if anything tragic goes wrong. She doesn't necessarily push me directly, but when I see she gets a skill down, I always try and make it harder. I love my daughter with all of my heart and would never put her at risk."<br></p><p>He also said he always tells her "Good job, mama!" after every stunt. "Before every stunt, I tell her I love her and give her a kiss for reassurance," he added. "We call it 'hardwood floor talk.'"</p><p><br></p>
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