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Elder wisdom can come in handy.
With age comes wisdom, or at least we hope it does. As we get older, we collect life lessons that we can pass along to younger generations, sometimes with lengthy stories and sometimes with quippy sayings.
Adages like "A penny saved is a penny earned," or "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," have been part of our collective treasure chest of life advice for generations, but the aphorisms that spring from the experience of our loved ones and mentors are often the most meaningful.
Someone shared that they'd read and appreciated this old man's advice: “My grandpa once told me 'if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.' He wasn’t talking about trains.” The person asked for more tidbits of wisdom from old folks and people started sharing sayings they heard from their elders growing up.
from AskOldPeopleAdvice
Here are some of the best "old man advice" sayings and how they can be applied in a person's life.
Another commenter put it another way: "Don't look behind you, you aren't going that way." This adage is about not dwelling on the past. Many of us have a tendency to spend more time mentally in the past, rehashing old memories or being nostalgic for what once was, than we do in the present or looking forward to the future. There's nothing wrong with a little reflection, but if most of our focus is in the past, we miss out on the present. Rear view mirrors are for quick glances, not where our focus should be.
This saying is about good character and true integrity. If you notice someone drop a $20 bill and no one is around to see but you, do you give it back to them or do you pick it up and keep it? If you realize that a store didn't charge you for an item, do you point it out and make it right or do you allow the mistake to remain? There are opportunities each day for us to choose between right and wrong, and those choices really speak to who we are if they are made without anyone else knowing.
lisa simpson help GIF Giphy
Don't get cocky and don't burn bridges you think you won't need to return to. There's value in being kind for its own sake, but there's also the reality that being kind also makes people like you. When people like you, they're more likely to lend you a helping hand, and you never know when you're going to be in a position to need one. It's also a good reminder that you're not inherently better than anyone else just because of where you are in life. We're all constantly in flux, so it's important to stay humble and kind.
In other words, "Make all your words sweet because tomorrow you may have to eat them."
The power of silence in general is often underrated, but it can be an especially useful tool in a negotiation. Some people are so uncomfortable with silence that they will make concessions simply to avoid it. And sometimes the best response to an unreasonable demand is to just say nothing and stare, letting the other party come to the realization themselves. It takes calm confidence to simply be quiet and let the silence fill the room, which can feel surprisingly intimidating.
Ah, the strange and mysterious sense of intuition that we can't really describe but know when we feel it. Whether it's getting a creepy vibe about a person or a little voice telling you to do or not do something, those "gut instincts" can serve us well. Of course, if we are prone to anxiety, our instincts can sometimes be confused with anxious thoughts, but "go with your gut" is solid advice anyway.
Listen To It Season 1 GIF by The Roku Channel Giphy
Sometimes people trying to find their way end up hitting roadblock after roadblock, which may mean they just haven't found the right path yet or might mean they need an entire overhaul of their life. That might look like switching career paths entirely, rather than trying to find a job in your field that fits. It might mean changing majors in the middle of your studies when you find yourself not enjoying any of your classes. It might mean finding a new community or reevaluating your relationships.
Several sayings line up with this one, like "Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity," and "Luck favors the prepared mind." There's a lot to be said for fortune and hard work going hand in hand. If we expect good things to just land in our lap, we will likely be disappointed, but if we move in the direction of things we want to happen and do the work of preparing for good things to come our way, "luck" frequently seems to follow.
Napoleon Dynamite GIF by Ben L Giphy
Finding a saying that resonates can be really helpful when we're facing a specific challenge in life, especially when we commit it to memory and repeat it often.
This article originally appeared in March.
A millennial woman has a realization.
There’s something so satisfying when someone can take a phenomenon that many of us feel and, for the first time, put it into words so we can better understand it. A Millennial woman recently coined the term “The Shift” to describe the moment she realized that a growing number of people in positions of responsibility were younger than her, and it struck a chord with many in her generation.
Once one has made “The Shift,” they begin to realize that the people who, ten years before, were teenagers, are now in their late 20s and have responsible positions in life. They are lawyers, police officers, parents of young children, and teachers. It’s like realizing that your besties' younger brother or sister is all grown up and has a family.
The woman shared her experience on the Millennials subforum on Reddit, and many of her cohort were in total agreement because they had just made The Shift, too. “Did anyone else experience ‘the Shift’? How old were you when it happened?” she asked before describing her moment.
A smiling young dcotor holding a clipboard. via Canva/Photos
“I was a new patient at this particular [doctor’s] office,” she wrote. “The doctor walked in the room. I took one look at him and thought, ‘OK, this guy looks really young. Must be a medical assistant/ intern or something.’ Nope. He was my doctor. Through casual conversation, I would come to find out that he was 33 years old…My doctor was two years younger than me.”
This realization kicked off a shift where she began to see the whole world differently. "I’d be watching the local news and realize how incredibly young everyone looked—the reporters, the meteorologists, etc. I started noticing how young the faces looked on billboards for local attorneys and realtors,” she wrote. “It’s so bizarre and difficult to explain. Logically, I know that people younger than me can be in all of these professions, but my brain just can’t seem to grasp the jarring reality that the cohort of ‘grown-ups’ now includes people who seem so young to me.”
A woman with hands over her mouth. via Canva/Photos
The post inspired others to explain the moment they experienced The Shift.
"For me, it was one event. I work as a firefighter, we got a new batch of recruits in in their early 20s, doing some on the job training and one of them says 'you know, I remember you, you came to my school for career day in 4th grade!' I felt my body disassemble itself, I looked in the mirror later and just realized that I was older."
"I am a former professor and it was the transition from students not being alive for Clinton’s presidency to not being alive for 9/11 that really did me in. My pop culture references also all died on arrival."
"I’m 38 and my husband is 39. A few weeks ago he commented that cops have gotten so much younger and I had to correct him that they’re starting at the same age they always did were just older. I pushed my husband into the shift but I think it was time."
"When professional sports players started to get younger than me. A 20-year-old kid playing professional hockey, I told my husband that is an actual child not a grown up."
"For me it hit when I wasn’t the youngest in my department at work anymore. Now I’m in the middle to older group."
As people age, they often feel like they are mentally 25, although their body continues to age to the point where they have a hard time even recognizing themselves. When The Shift happens, it's jarring because it’s a reminder that we’re no longer just getting started in life and that we’re now part of the established, older generation. The Shift may hurt a bit, but it’s also a great reminder that life comes at you fast and to get to work on achieving your goals, because time waits for no one.
Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."
As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.
I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.
The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.
My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"
- YouTube youtu.be
The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)
But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.
The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."
Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy
I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.
To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.
But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.
Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.
The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."
Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed
On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.
To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.
This article originally appeared in January.
Kids listen to everything parents say, even when their parents aren't talking to them. You don't have to be a parent to witness or experience this adorable and sometimes hilarious parroting. A toddler repeating a swear word in their tiny baby voice will almost always fill a room with laughter and a little embarrassment for the parent. Truly, they'll say and repeat anything, even things they don't remotely understand! It's incredibly entertaining.
It's how kids learn about the world around them because parents are their first teachers even when they're not attempting to be. Kids are always watching, always soaking things up like hilarious little sponges. But there are some things that you don't quite expect kids to pick up on until a little later in life so it may catch you a little off guard.
Tasha Mahachi, a mom of a 3-year-old little girl, Sanaa, found herself slightly confused when her daughter exclaimed that she needed a husband. No, she wasn't saying the mom needs a husband, she already has one. Little Sanaa wanted her own husband.
Sanaa doesn't want a wedding, she wants a husband Giphy
After overhearing Mahachi refer to the little girl's dad as her husband while speaking to someone else, Sanaa decided she just had to have her own husband.
A pink husband, to be exact. Whatever that means.
Mahachi shared the adorable interaction on her social media page where it racked up over 350k views. In the video, Sanaa is seen stamping her foot, clearly a bit annoyed on repeating the question. Her frustration grows after her mom breaks the news that the little girl doesn't have a husband. Poor mom does her best to explain to an emotionally irrational 3-year-old that this is impossible.
"I want a husband," Sanaa whines while stomping her feet before Mahachi asks what kind of husband the preschooler wants. That's when she reveals the difficult order, "pink." Yes, Sanaa wants a pink husband. It's really not too much to ask when you think about it...when you're three.
To be clear, Sanaa doesn't want a wedding, or to play dress up as a bride. She just wants the husband part. If her dad is a husband, then all she knows is she wants one just like that.
But the problem really comes into play once Sanaa stops having a small tantrum long enough for mom to inform her that if she wants a husband she will have to go find one outside. Sounds reasonable, right? Won't find a husband sitting around the house. But Sanaa doesn't seem to like that advice.
"I not going outside," she says while pleading her case, "it's dark."
Sanaa may be watching a little too much Bluey Giphy
Not going outside would be a bit of a barrier to finding a husband and you can see the little wheels turning in Sanaa's head as she works out how she will collect a pink husband. So, she does what any three year old would do who wants to go outside, she asks her mom to come with her. Again she's thwarted when Mahachi breaks the news that moms and dads don't go outside to help find husbands. The pair have reached an impasse.
Viewers couldn't get enough of the amusing interaction and some could relate to the girl's dilemma.
@tashamahachi She heard me calling her dad my husband and suddenly she’s desperate to get herself one too😂 #toddlersbelike #toddlerconversations #sanaaandmummy
"Ma’am go on Amazon and order her a pink husband right neowww," someone joked in the comments.
"We can all relate. To wanting a husband, to not wanting to go outside to find him, to being scared, oh baby we get it," another laughs.
"This is what a convo between me and God sound like praying for a husband meanwhile I’m scared to meet new people, I don’t go out and i always take my best friend everywhere," one person confesses.
"I’ve never related more to a toddler. Cuz sis I’m also scared & do not want to go outside & also want a husband RN [right now]," another commenter chimes in.
"It's okay kiddo. I don't want to leave the house to find one by myself either. It's scary," someone else proclaims.
"All introverts, let's gather here. We want a partner but we ain't going outside," added another.
Sanaa to her future husband: "I will find you.:" Giphy
Another commented astutely noted that this video will be absolutely perfect if and when Sanaa does decide to get married (when she's much older). There won't be a dry eye in the house when this clip comes up in the video montage one day!
The whole thing is so impossibly sweet. Mom and dad should take it as a huge compliment that Sanaa sees their marriage and relationship as a positive thing that she wants one day (or, more accurately, now). Of course, Sanaa isn't thinking about it in terms so deep. She just knows if Mom has a husband, she wants one, too. But it sure has to make her dad feel pretty good about himself. Even if Sanaa isn't willing to venture outside to go look for one.
Until then, Sanaa isn't alone. Plenty of people want a husband to find them without ever having to leave the house to interact with others. Maybe ordering a pink husband online doesn't sound so silly after all.
This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.
Millennials are fed up with their Boomer parents always being on their phones.
Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents' frustrating phone use.
On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.
"My parents are on the very young end of being 'boomers'. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones," they wrote. "I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos)."
Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcías Giphy
They went on to add, "The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say 'Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.' But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? 😤"
The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.
"I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I'm listening for that they have my attention," one commented. "And to think that it's coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains."
Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy
Another shared, "My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table."
Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. "I've noticed this with my parents. It seems like I've switched places with them. I'm trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more," one commented.
Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents' phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. "It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish," another shared.
Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy
Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. "I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don't like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him," one Millennial shared.
Another added, "I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it."
Chicago Pd Nbc GIF by One Chicago Giphy
However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. "My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context)," they wrote. "I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about 'playing on my phone too much' when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age."
Other Millennials pointed out that it's not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. "I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era," another noted. And another Millennial quipped, "Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness 🤣."