Mom brilliantly explains why she 'never' wants to be a supermom
"If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable."
Laura Danger explains why she "never" wants to be a supermom.
Many mothers today grapple with the pressure to be a "supermom"—a force of nature who can handle her role in her family while heading various community organizations such as Girl Scouts, church groups, or their kid’s athletic teams.
This idealized version of motherhood can lead to two big problems, moms that fall short of these momentous expectations can suffer feelings of inadequacy. While those who are relied upon as supermoms can become stressed and burnt out.
Educator and podcast host Laura Danger is getting a lot of love on TikTok for a recent post where she rejects the idea that mothers should feel the need to be a supermom. She even goes further by saying that any organization that needs one isn’t fit to survive.
“I will fight anyone in the street who calls me a supermom,” she begins her video. “I am not a supermom. I never want a be a supermom. I never want anyone to refer to me as so strong. Jack of all trades. We literally couldn’t do it without her. If you weren’t here, everything would fall apart.”
She then explains that when people need supermoms in their families or organizations, it's a sign that things are out of balance.
Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.
@thatdarnchat Im okay. I contribute. I am valued. But not as the only thing keeping it all together.
“I never want to be so essential to an organization or a group or even my family that everything relies on me,” she continued. “I want to be important enough that I matter. I want to bring something to the table. But I do not want to be the one sustaining anything.”
If a woman is the supermom in a family, it could mean that their spouse isn’t pulling their weight. In an organization, if everything relies on one person, other members need to step up.
“I do not want to be so strong,” she said. “I want to live a life of ease. I want to be empowered to rest. I am not a supermom. I will never be a super mom.”
Danger believes that if an organization needs a supermom to exist, it probably shouldn’t.
“If you were to match the energy and effort being put in by other people and give just as much as them, and the whole thing would fall apart, you are overcompensating to a point that it was unsustainable,” she concluded. “If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable.”
The post was a relief to many mothers who feel pressured to be supermoms and never considered the idea that the entire concept is toxic.
"It’s like those job postings asking for a 'rockstar' they just mean they want someone to overwork," janisthwpdc commented on the post. "So absolutely true. It’s like telling someone they do the work of three people," Seema added.
"I love this. Women in our situation need respect to feel balance—to be able to thrive and be our best which is why we were made moms to begin with,” Megs wrote.
The pressure for people to be supermoms creates a lot of stress and zaps the joy out of parenting. The fundamental job of a mother is to love and support their child, not to be a pillar that props up their entire family and community. Given all the stress of being a parent in the modern world, it’s time we start embracing “Balanced Mom” over everything else because finding a balance between work, parenting, and community is a true superpower.