Mom admits parenting can be 'deeply unsatisfying,’ and other moms are happy someone finally said it
“I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough."
Celeste Yvonne admits that motherhood can be "deeply unsatisfying."
Parenting is often sold to child-free people as the most satisfying experience one could have in life. It’s supposed to provide them with a greater sense of meaning because after becoming a parent, every day is filled with little miracles.
Many parenting influencers, with their picture-perfect lives, obedient children and immaculate houses, will have you believe the same thing.
However, reality is a lot different. The problem is that it’s taboo for parents to admit that raising children can be boring, repetitive, stressful, agonizing, and unfulfilling. So many parents who feel this way think that they’re the problem and in the minority, when many of them feel exactly the same way.
These parents are applauding Celeste Yvonne’s recent TikTok video, in which she admits that parenting can be “deeply unsatisfying.” Yvonne is an award-winning writer, sobriety coach and bestselling author of “It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture.”
@theultimatemomchallenge Don’t mistake my words for being ungrateful. There is a huge difference between gratitude and satisfaction. #motherhood #momlife
“Okay, here's my hot take, so don't come at me. But for the most part, motherhood is deeply unsatisfying. And we don't talk about it enough,” she opens the video. “I love being a mom and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as mother is not satisfying.”
Yvonne admits that being a mother is often thankless and repetitive.
“It is the nitty gritty. It is getting kids to clean up after messes. It is reminding kids to wash their hands. It is convincing kids to eat the meals I make. I mean, it is a lot of work. So much work. And in and of itself, that part is not satisfying,” she said in a video with over 200,000 views.
“I do not go to bed most nights feeling satisfied in my role as mother. If anything, I go to be with intrusive thoughts, worrying about their future, feeling like I didn’t do a good enough job,” she continues.
She finishes her video by asking more moms to follow her lead by discussing the sensitive topic.
“I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough,” she explained. “For a long time, I felt like I was doing it wrong because I saw other people, other moms on social media, beaming and glowing about the milestones, talking about how satisfying this role is, and wondering if I was doing it wrong. The truth is we just don't talk about the unsatisfying parts. And I think we should.”
The video made many moms feel seen. “I wish more women (mothers) were honest about this like you are,” one commenter wrote. “Moms need to talk about this more—I love my kids more than anything—but I do not enjoy being a mom,” another added.
@theultimatemomchallenge Replying to @nokechic07 to be clear, this is not a Ballerina Farm problem. This is a me problem. But it’s also an us problem. And until we have better support systems in place for mothers in the US and everywhere else that needs it, I’m going to keep talking about it. #ballerinafarm #momlife #fedup #fairplay
Upworthy asked Yvonne why she thinks her video resonates with so many parents. “Motherhood is a complicated, nuanced topic, but for the most part, we only hear and see the highlight reel,” she told Upworthy. “The majority of my days in motherhood do not look or feel anything like what I see on social media, and by openly admitting to that, I hope I help other mothers feel seen and validated.”
The writer has no problem sharing her thoughts on such a touchy subject because there are people who need to hear them. “I used to be afraid of sharing the full truth on social media because people can be so mean, but I feel confident in my role as mother and trolls or angry comments don't affect me like they used to. I keep sharing because of the moms who reach out and say I help them feel less alone,” she told Upworthy.
In the end, it’s all about being there for others. “In recovery, we talk a lot about the importance of sharing our stories so others feel seen, and if I can be that beacon for anyone struggling with motherhood, addiction, or mental health matters, I will try!” Yvonne said.