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Canva Photos & Elijah Linder/LinkedIn

Bereavement leave doesn't get a lot of press, and it's awkward to talk about. But this story will make you smile for sure.

When someone suffers an unexpected loss in their family, there is no simple playbook for how to respond. Grief is immense, powerful, and hard to talk about. It's awkward, and as an outsider you're afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. You may even want to help but have no idea how other than vague sympathies and platitudes.

It's even stranger when you're the person's boss. There are professional boundaries to consider. Plus, after all, you've got a company to run and a responsibility to the other employees to make sure work gets done and the lights stay on. You're in the uncomfortable and unenviable position of having to make sure the trains keep running, so to speak, while also showing empathy and understanding.

But maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated. One story recently shared by Elijah Linder on LinkedIn shows there might be a better way for companies and managers to handle bereavement.

 death, bereavement, grief, time off, paid leave, work, corporate policy, HR, heartwarming, kindness, good bosses Grief does not fit a 3-5 day schedule.  Photo by The Good Funeral Guide on Unsplash  

Linder runs a company called Bereave, which aims to help organizations set up better bereavement benefits and resources for their employees. So, he talks to a lot of people about what happens at work when the loved one of an employee dies.

One such story was so powerful, he just had to share:

"A woman lost her mom less than a week ago. She also accepted a new sales job during that same time," he begins in a recent post.

Can you imagine? The pain of losing a parent is overwhelming, even traumatic. Doing day to day functions like getting out of bed, eating food, and caring for your own children become almost impossible for many people. Add to that the unimaginable stress that you may lose the job you just worked so hard to get, and on top of everything else, you might be unemployed or at least persona non grata at your new workplace right off the bat.

The good thing for the company to do in this case would be to honor the offer of employment, but delay the start date to give the woman some time to grieve and deal with funeral arrangements. Ultimately, though, you probably couldn't fault either party for just deciding that the timing was unfortunate and going their separate ways. There's really no concrete timetable for how long it takes to properly grieve.

This manager, however, did one better. According to Linder, the boss honored not only the job offer, but the initial start date as well. Then, he gave the woman six weeks of paid leave right off the bat, before she'd ever had a single day of work.

She would keep her job, she would get paid, and it would all be there waiting for her when she was ready to begin. It's an incredible gesture of sympathy and trust for someone he barely knew.

"She's going to run through a wall for that manager. For that company. ... How's that for signaling 'we got you?'" Linder wrote.

Read the whole post here.

The post went viral on LinkedIn, pulling in thousands of Likes and Comments from people who were moved by the story.

Though we don't know much about the woman or the company, what amazed people was the thought process on display. Companies usually think, What's the least expensive and painful we can make this, for the company? This manager decided to make the tragedy less expensive and painful for the employee, even though she hadn't even worked a single day for him yet.

"Companies think because they can't quantify exactly what this person did into literal dollars and cents that it means it's not worth doing. Yet anyone with a human bone in their body knows how impactful something like this is to people and what it does for their motivation and engagement. It's like employment steroids and companies keep sleeping on it," wrote one reader.

"It’s not hard to be kind. I don’t know why these kinds of stories are not the norm," added another.

The average length of paid bereavement leave in the US is about three to five days for the death of an immediate family member. That is stunningly low—but it's the norm almost everywhere. Sadly, this is one benefit that's not much better in many European or other developed countries.

In another post, Linder shares a "brief" list of all the things someone has to take care of in the event of a sudden death of a close family member, including arranging funeral services, burial specifics, obtaining a death certificate, writing an obituary, and more. And that's to say nothing of the actual grieving process, which has barely begun in just five days.

And then, he writes, you're expected to go back to work a few days later like nothing happened.




Linder's story prompted others to share inspiring moments when places of work became something more, and how good people step in when corporate policies fall short.

"I'd just hired & relocated a guy & his family. I think he was there not much more than a month after the family relocated. One day jogging, he had a heart attack...and passed away. The HR Manager picked up the phone and called Payroll and told them to keep the paychecks coming, to his wife until he told them otherwise," Don Harkness commented. "And knowing she had just moved, she'd left friends and family behind. He gave her a choice. She could stay in her new home. or if she wanted to return to her previous venue, the company would pay to relocate her back. I think she opted to return. It made a deep impression on everyone."

Linder even shared another one of his own: "We recently heard about a manager who had a teammate that lost a child... The teammate took 30 days away from work. When he came back, the manager told him to delete all of his emails. Told him not to worry about catching up. Told him to start fresh and that he'd support him in doing so. How's that for signaling 'we got you...'"

One man shared a tear-jerker of a story on a Reddit thread about bereavement: "I lost my wife of 20 years when I was 44. It was cancer, 21 days for diagnosis to death. ... My company said the same...3 days [of bereavement]. I had been with the company for 20+ years. My boss said, 'Take the time you need. You will continue to get paid. If anyone says anything to you, tell them to contact me.' I will always be grateful that my boss stood by me."

Bereavement doesn't get the PR that vacation time and parental leave get, so the policies at large may not change any time soon. It's the leave you hope you never have to use, but let's be clear, it's no vacation. Having at least a few paid days off is the bare minimum a human being needs to function after a loss. But we can do better than a few days, even if we have to do it in some unorthodox ways. That's what people looking out for other people is all about. It's great to see and hear examples of it happening out there in the real world.

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CNBC's The Profit

Tami spent a good part of her life working jobs that didn’t necessarily agree that time off with a new baby — for either or both parents — was a good idea.

Then she met Marcus Lemonis of the CNBC reality show "The Profit," which takes over struggling businesses and turns them around. She was offered paid maternity leave and, soon after, was made co-owner of the Key West Key Lime Pie Company.


Her experience was an exception, however.

Paid maternity leave is something the United States is actually really far behind the rest of the world on.

Here’s a map that kinda brings it into shocking perspective.

This map shows countries with paid leave from work for mothers of infants. Graphic via WORLD Policy Analysis Center at the UCLA Fielding School of Public Health.

When new mothers are forced to go right back to work, they can experience all sorts of negative health issues, such as post-partum depression, extreme fatigue, physical problems related to childbirth, and more. Conversely, children who have their mothers at home tend to be healthier.

Here are a few of the benefits kids see when their mothers can stay with them:

  • They're less likely to get respiratory infections.
  • They're more likely to be current with immunizations.
  • They're more likely to breast-feed during infancy (with its well-established benefits).
  • And, in general, they're less likely to die between 0 and 5 years.

For a country that professes to care so much about our children, the United States sure seems behind the curve with family leave.

Thankfully, small businesses are generally more likely to support family life and the ability to take time off to deal with health crises and having kids and the things that go along with, you know, life. They're just more able to have that personal touch and to get to know employees personally.

When we lose small businesses to big corporations buying or forcing them out of business, we lose some of that personal, family touch.

GIF from "The Profit Effect: The Working Parent & Paid Parental Leave."

A few big companies, such as Netflix, have begun offering paid parental leave, but sometimes to salaried professionals only, not to the hourly workers who usually need it the most. Others have followed suit; Nestle and Virgin are now offering paid family leave, though in the latter case, once again, for management only. Another, The Gates Foundation, recently began offering up to one full year of paid family leave.

Also, the U.S. Family Medical Leave Act can provide some unpaid time off (up to 12 weeks), but 40% of U.S. workers do not qualify. In addition, how many people who are already making close to poverty-level wages can actually take unpaid time off and not lose their home, car, or everything? It's a stop-gap measure at best.

Becoming a small-business owner reinforced Tami's view of paid parental leave — one that she formed when she didn't have access to it.

It's interesting hearing her perspective after becoming The Boss. For some folks, it might change their mind.

Not her. Watch: