naming babies

Naming a baby is one of the first major decisions parents have to make, and it's a biggie. A name can be beautiful, interesting or meaningful. A name can be popular, uncommon or one-of-a-kind.

There are many questions to consider when choosing a baby name, but one question in particular is provoking a range of opinions: When is it okay or not okay to choose a baby name someone you know has already chosen?

Everyone has a right to name their baby whatever they want (for the most part), but that doesn't mean there aren't some spoken and unspoken rules of etiquette surrounding baby names. For instance, it's one thing if you like an acquaintance's kid's name and decide to use it, but if you know your sibling wants to use a certain name and you swoop in and snag it first, that might be another story.

A woman's wild tale of a friend's wife calling her rude for saying she might name a kid the same name they chose for their baby has people debating the "rules" of copying other people's name choices. In a post on X, @cilantrowife wrote:

"A family friend brought his wife to dinner last night. They just had a baby a few months ago and I was telling them how much I love their baby's name and if I ever had a third daughter that would probably be her name too. Just woke up to a text from this man saying I was rude. He said his wife was offended by that because 1) I was making it about me (?) and 2) I told her I would be stealing her baby name lmfao. First of all I'm not even pregnant or planning a pregnancy atp, second of all idk if I'll ever have a third daughter. Also a name can't be stolen…"

Even giving the new mom a little latitude in the mental/emotional health department, getting angry at someone for saying they liked your baby's name and fantasizing about a potential future child being named that is a bit much. But it did get people talking.

Some people pointed out that such a response is strange, especially if the name isn't unique. Like, if you like the name Emma and decide to use it, you're almost 100% guaranteed to know someone with a kid named Emma. No one could accuse you of copying or stealing one of the most popular baby names of the past decade.

Even within the same family, there can be multiples of the same name, though it's not as common as it once was. "I once traced my lineage to the 1700s and nearly all the boys in the family were named John lol," wrote the original poster. "Do you think those mothers were whining to each other about 'name stealing'?"

Some might see it as odd, but for some families and even some entire cultures, people sharing the same name within the same family is not unusual at all.

One commenter wrote, "My husband’s family is awash with Davids. We had a family wedding where Groom, Best Man, Usher, Groom’s Father, Cousin & 2 uncles were all called David & all related."

"I know of a large Catholic family w 12 kids, I think," shared another. "The firstborn and the 12th child are both named Patrick. Mom & Dad loved the name; felt the boys would be far enough apart in age that there would be no confusion. I think it worked out fine. :)"

But what if the name wasn't common. What if a person named their kid "Marikenzley" or something equally unique and someone wanted to use it. Would that change the equation?

Most people said even if they initially felt it was weird, they'd get over it. Every name becomes popular somehow and nothing ever remains one-of-a-kind.

As for how this woman should respond to the man's text about his wife being upset, some people were blunt about it being unreasonable, but others pointed out that new moms do have all kinds of hormonal shifts raging through their bodies, so a little grace may be in order.

The bottom line is no one owns the right to any particular name, even the more unusual or uncommon ones. And if you do name your child something unique, there's a good chance they would be excited to meet someone with the same name as them someday. Take it as a compliment that your baby naming skills are admired and let people name their kids whatever they want.