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mother s day gift guide

@madison_barbosa/TikTok

Just let her turn her brain off

Mother’s Day is upon us again. And for many, that means trying to pick the perfect gift that makes mom feel special. But what exactly is that gift? For many well-intentioned partners, the answer to this question feels elusive.

However, according to mom Madison Barbosa, all moms only really want one thing. And it’s not something you’ll find in a gift guide.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Barbosa jokingly points a figure at the camera while saying, Mother’s Day is coming. I’m looking at you. Yeah I’m looking at you…what are you gonna do for her? I’m gonna tell you what to do.”


According to Barbosa, moms aren't looking for a break away from their family. What she wants is a day where she can “turn her brain off. Where she doesn't have to have the mental load for one day. Take off the mental load for one day.”

What exactly does this look like? Barbosa breaks it down, step by step.

“Here's what you're gonna do. She's gonna wake up. You're not gonna say, ‘What do you want to do today? We can do anything you want.’ Nope, nope, no. You're gonna plan something. Whether that's going to the zoo, going to the park, going for a walk, you're gonna plan something that she does not have to think twice about. Not gonna ask her what she wants to eat. You're gonna plan that shit too. Don't ask her any questions.”

And in case there’s any confusion, packaging is most definitely part of this planning process. Including the diaper bag.

“When she goes to pack up the diaper bag, she gets ready, she gets packed the diaper bag. It's already packed. Do you understand? It's already packed. Exactly as she would do it. Exactly. You better, you better pack that diaper bag the night before. You wake up an hour before her, and you pack that diaper bag. Make sure all the shit's in there. All you need to do is let her shut her brain off,” she said.

Lastly, Barbosa says that in addition to the glorious day of brainlessness, moms do enjoy physical gifts like flowers and thoughtful cards, contrast to what some might say. Just make sure the message on the cards is “thoughtful.” And, as one viewer pointed out, make sure the flowers are arranged in a vase. Again, mental load.

Watch below. Warning: there are a few f-bombs thrown in for dramatic flair.

@madison_barbosa yall need me to send this to your husbands? no joke ill do it 🤟🏻 #mothersday #relatablemomcontent #momhumor #momminmads #unfilteredmom ♬ original sound - Madison Barbosa

Barbosa’s video, which quickly racked up over 115,000 views, left many moms nodding in agreement.

“I just want a cinnamon roll and not to be asked questions,” one chimed.

Another added, Sending this to my husband NOW!!! Bc this is EXACTLY what I want!”

Still, there wasn’t unanimous agreement on the “being with family” portion of Barbosa’s suggestions.

“Speak for yourself,” one mom wrote. “I would love a day by myself.”

This could have to do with what chapter of motherhood each woman is in. Upworthy previously learned that moms of younger children are the ones who typically want a solo day, while moms of adult children tend to crave the bonding time. And teen/tween moms just want to be appreciated.

Honestly, now matter what stage these mothers are in, is any of that too much to ask? We think not.

As fro Barbosa's husband, she tells Upworthy that he great about cards, flowers and coffee in bed. As she says, "small things go a big way!"