millennial mom

Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents have generational differences when it comes to parenting. While some Millennials feel that Boomer grandparents have taken an "absent" approach to grandparenting, others are showing up—especially for babysitting duties.

Millennial mom Lily Chapman, who is currently expecting her second child, expressed her "controversial" parenting opinion about when her Boomer parents come to babysit. Rather than micromanage and try to instill her own parenting beliefs into her parents, she relinquishes them while they babysit and goes with the flow.

"Just don’t give her a grape and we’re good lol," she captioned the TikTok video.

“I think this is more controversial or unique than I thought it was, but my take is basically: If you’re watching my kid, you can do it your way,” Chapman said in the video. “My baby has three sets of grandparents. They all do things very differently. As long as you’re not crossing an explicit boundary that I’ve set that has to do with safety, I will not be complaining.”

Chapman also shared that her dad will send photos of him and her daughter Ruby still up long after her normal bedtime (two hours, to be exact)—but that it's not a problem for her. Her response: "Looks like you guys are having fun."

She also added, "I'll be like, 'Oh I hope my baby likes potatoes' and my mom will be like, 'Well she loves my French fries'...and I'm like, 'Hell yeah, sister!"

However, Chapman did note that one rule she hopes her parents will implement is "strictly, strictly no screen time." But when she gets a photo from one of her daughter's grandfathers of the two watching a baseball game together, she doesn't let it bother her. "Ruby’s cheering for the Rangers? Hell yeah, she is," she said.

And many parents watching the video appreciated her parenting perspective.

"YES this is how a village works. And who better to disrupt their routine than people who love them vs a teacher or friend later on," one commented. Another mom added, "It’s good for them to see that not everyone has the same set of rules. As long as my babies not eating popcorn I’m good. 💁🏻♀" And another wrote, "Part of growing up was 'breaking the rules' with aunties and grandma!!! It’s part of having a village!! I love this. I think it helps teach balance too." Another mom also commented, "I think that’s so healthy. She’ll be adaptable, and have the broader experience of different approaches and experiences."

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Chapman told TODAY.com that she's taken this approach because she recognizes her need for support as a parent. "There has not been a single day of parenthood when I haven’t needed help...I had to relinquish control right off the bat," she said. "Boundaries are good but they need to be worth it."

And her strict safety boundaries? Chapman shared that they are: having caregivers cut her daughters food into small pieces to avoid choking, no guests dropping by while watching her daughter, and always following safe sleep practices.

Chapman added that she is open to her personal parenting beliefs being challenged if they are not related to safety. "I want my daughter to remember that grandpa always had the game on—it’s a core part of his personality," she said.