upworthy

middle age

Humor

Gen X is trying to come to grips with getting 'old.' It's not going so well.

We are NOT prepared for Salt-n-Pepa to be played in the doctor's office waiting room, thankyouverymuch.

Gen X is eating dinner earlier and earlier.

The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.

And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here?

gen x, getting older, jennifer aniston, friends, midlife We're not ready. Giphy

It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey?

As they so often do, Penn and Kim Holderness from The Holderness Family have captured the Gen X existential crisis in a video that has us both nodding a long and laughing out loud. Salt-n-Pepa in the waiting room at the doctor's office? Uh, no. That's a line we are not ready to cross yet. Nirvana being played on the Classic Rock station? Nope, not prepared for that, either.

Watch:

Hoo boy, the denial is real, isn't it? We grew up on "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, for goodness sake, and it's starting to feel like we made a wrong choice a chapter or two back and suddenly landed our entire generation in a time warp. This isn't real, is it? Thirty years ago was the 1970s. That's just a Gen X fact. So what if we've lived long enough for our high school fashions to go out of style and then back into style and then back out of style again?

Seriously, though, we can either lament our age and stage in life or we can laugh about it, and people are grateful to the Holdernesses for assisting with the latter. Gen X fans are also thrilled to see their own experiences being validated, because at this point, we've all had that moment in the grocery store or the waiting room when one of our jams came on and we immediately went into a panic.

gen x, midlife, getting older, grocery store music, middle age It's a dark day at the grocery store when the music of your youth comes on. Photo credit: Canva

Fellow Gen Xers commiserate in the comments:

"They were playing The Cure in the grocery store and I almost started crying. I mean, how 'alternative' can you be if you're being played in Krogers? You guys are great! Thanks for making us laugh."

"When I turn on the classic rock station I expect the Doors or CCR not Soundgarden or Nirvana."

"I couldn’t believe it when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody being played in Walmart. That was edgy in my day."

"I know!!! Bon Jovi at the grocery store!!! That was my clue in!!"

gen x music, bon jovi, middle age, midlife crisis, getting older Bon Jovi isn't supposed to be "classic rock." Giphy

"That horrifying feeling when I realized that when I play Nevermind for my kids now in 2024, I’m playing them 33-year-old music, but when my dad played the Let It Be for me in 1984, it was only 14-year-old music."

"The first time I heard my jams on the oldies station I cried. I'm not old! I just have to take a picture of something to blow it up so I can see it better with my readers but everyone does that. Early dinners? Hey I'm hungry by 5 why wait."

"Long live Gen Xers! We have to be strong!! We can get through this together!! #NKOTBmeetsAARP"

Hang in there, Gen X. We didn't build up all that resilience and attitude in our youth just to fall apart at this point. Let's own this stage like we invented it and make it as cool as we are.

You can find more from the Holderness Family on their Facebook page, their podcast and their website, theholdernessfamily.com.

This article originally appeared last year.

Culture

People born before 1990 are sharing their now-useless (but 100% nostalgic) skills

For instance, recording songs on tape from the radio while yelling at the DJ to shut up during the intro.

From holding the phone on your shoulder to folding a map to knowing what "cornflower" and "goldenrod" are, here are pre-Y2K skills at their finest.

Hey there, millennials! Welcome to the "Holy crapoly, I have real-life memories from 20 years ago!" club. It's a strangely disorienting milestone to reach when you find yourself starting sentences with, "When I was young…" or, "Back in my day…" isn't it? Your Gen X elders have been here for a while, but even we have moments of incredulously calculating how the heck we've arrived at this place. Time is a tricky little jokester, isn't it?

To highlight how much has changed for middle-aged folks since we were young, a user on Reddit asked people born before 1990 what useless skills they possess that nobody has a need for anymore. It's both a hilarious trip down memory lane and a time capsule of life pre-Y2K. (Do kids these days even know what Y2K was? Gracious.)

y2k, 90s, millennials, outdated skills, nostalgiaY2Kcore.Image via Canva.

If you're down for some good-old-days nostalgia, check out people's responses:

Making brown paper bag book covers

"I can cover a textbook with a brown paper bag." — sourwaterbug

Oh goodness yes. And there was always that one girl in class who had the art of the brown paper bag book cover perfected. (They're probably Pinterest influencers now.)


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Folding a map—and knowing where to find a map

"I can re-fold a map correctly."JungleZac

"Man remember actually using maps…I had an atlas with the road system in my car to navigate other states during road trips. Crazy." – jagua_haku

How did we ever figure out how to get anywhere before GPS and Google Maps? (Two-inch thick road atlases in our car and stopping at gas stations to buy local maps while traveling, that's how. Positively primitive.)

Memorizing phone numbers and answering the house phone

For real, though, kids these days don't even know.

"Remembering phone numbers." — greatmilliondog

"Not only that, having to speak to your friend's parents for a few minutes when you call their house." Logical_Area_5552

"How to take a message when the person they want to talk to isn't there." — Amoori_A_Splooge

How about dialing on a rotary phone, using a pay phone and making (or taking) a collect call?

nostalgia, 90s, millennials, rotary phone, phone callPhone Call Vintage GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy

The skillful phone shoulder hold

"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them." – Regular_Sample_5197

"100 ft phone cords 🤣" – mrch1ck3nn

"I got in sooooo much trouble for stretching the phone cord into the bathroom for some privacy. Accidentally clotheslined Grandma 😬 She laughed about it but Mom was pissed!" – AffectionateBite3827

Knowing the exact name of every Crayola color because we only had so many

"I know what the color “goldenrod” is." — ImAmazedBaybee

"That and burnt sienna were the crayolas of choice." — Signiference

"Cornflower would like a word." — cps12345

The art of the mixed tape—especially from the radio

I don't think kids these days fully grasp how revolutionary Spotify and the like are for those of us who spent hours in front of the radio with our cassette tape recorder queued up at just the right spot waiting for the song we wanted to record to come on. And they will never, ever know the frustration of the DJ yapping right up until the lyrics start.

mixtape, 90s, tape, cassette, nostalgiaMade you a mixtape. Image via Canva.

"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh-t or an ad" – Gankstajam

"'Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! I'm trying to record my song!!!'" – tearsonurcheek

"Haha yeah and trying to tell others so they don't make random noise or knock on the door.

How about making cassette-based mix tapes, trying to figure out to the second, how many and which types of songs in which order, that would still fit perfectly on the length of tape per side.

People who make digital recordings do not have to worry about 'running out of tape.'

Having the first side be tempting enough that they'd flip the other side to continue listening. That's before continual playback machines existed. Had to flip the cassette." – CrunchyTeaTime

And there were many more, from rewinding a cassette tape with a pencil to writing in cursive to tearing the sides off of printer paper without tearing the paper itself. (Oh and, of course, the ability to count out change and understand what you're supposed to do if something costs $9.91 and someone hands you $10.01.)

Gotta love it when the things that used to be totally normal now sound like historic artifacts found in a museum. Kind of makes you wonder what normal things from today we'll be laughing about in another 20 or 30 years.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Joy

Elderly millennials, this hilarious mammogram PSA was made just for you

“If you collected Beanie Babies, it’s time for your first mammogram.”

@followmercy/TikTok

Millennial nostalgia is finally being weaponized for good.

Boy, do we millennials love our nostalgia. And who can blame us? Our childhood was a colorful kaleidoscope of analog delights—the thrill of hearing Mr. Moviefone giving showtimes options, or better yet, hitting up the local Blockbuster for a movie night in, the joy of literally any Happy Meal toy…ugh, it really was a simpler time.

Also, our generation’s cartoons were hands down the best cartoons ever. There, I said it.

But sadly, millennials, our generation-wide nostalgia is now being used against us. At least it’s ultimately for our own good.


The staff over at the Mercy Healthcare Company released a tongue-in-cheek PSA featuring relics of our bygone era, saying that if you remember them, “it’s time to schedule your first mammogram.”

“If you collected Beanie Babies, it’s time for your first mammogram,” says one of the nurses in the video. Welp, I’m done for.

Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” portable DVD players, the “Rachel haircut,” Myspace, and of course, the sound of dial-up internet etched in all of our brains also made the list, among a few others.

Watch:

@followmercy

What do Beanie Babies, Myspace and dial-up internet have in common? If you remember when they were popular, it’s time to schedule your mammogram! #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth

Brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

Granted, this PSA technically doesn’t apply to all millennials. Typically, health care professionals suggest that mammograms begin at age 40 for those without a family history of breast cancer, and occur every year.

But still—message received. And well done, Mercy.

On a related note of growing older and wiser…millennials often get depicted as particularly nostalgic. But where that could get explained away by the onslaught of digitization, a measurable decline in quality of art, entertainment, clothes, etc. and living in a post 9/11 world, we can’t forget to note that perhaps we are also simply in a more nostalgic phase of life. The world around us has changed. Our place in society has changed. Our bodies have changed. It’s natural to look back with longing at what once was, since we are now more aware than ever that everything—including us—is temporary.

But that’s part of growing older—being able to hold both yearning and appreciation in our heart. Or, perhaps more appropriate in this case: scheduling that mammogram, then scouring Beanie Babies on Etsy…or whatever else delights your inner child. That’s one thing we millennials will always be good at, no matter how old we get.