upworthy

middle age

What if middle-aged women are just discovering their superpowers?

The social media era has had its pitfalls, but some positives have come from it as well. One benefit of people publicly sharing their lives is that it's opened up conversations about things we didn't openly talk about before. If you have a physical or mental health issue, you can now easily find a community of people with shared experiences instead of feeling alone or isolated in your struggles.

Perimenopause has become a big topic of discussion online, and it's making so many middle-aged women feel less alone in the wild ride that it is. The years preceding menopause are rife with dozens of potential symptoms that suddenly come out of nowhere and stay for an undetermined amount of time. Not just hot flashes, which everyone knows about, but random things like itching all over, joint pain, brain fog, frozen shoulder, sleep disturbances, slowed metabolism, irritability, anxiety, and more. The hormonal shift is powerful and impacts everything.

hot flash, menopause, perimenopause, perimenopause symptoms, women, middle age Hot flashes? How about "power surges"?Photo credit: Canva

It's hard for women who are going through "the change" to explain it. But unexpectedly, there's a man who's given an incredibly empowering description of perimenopause.

He lays it all out in a video captioned "YOUR MIDLIFE WIFE IS WONDER-WOMAN" that's gone viral for just the right reasons.

"So your partner, she's going through her midlife 'reset,'" Michael Hunter (@uspiral.life) begins, speaking to partners of women in this stage. "The hot flash years, and you think she's being a little moody, snapping more than usual, forgetful, foggy, fried. Congratulations, because you're not witnessing her fall apart. You're witnessing her upgrade."

And every middle-aged woman's ears just perked up.



"Welcome to the divine demolition phase of her existence," he continued. "'Cause everything that doesn't serve her? Her hormones are throwing that in the fire. Compliance? Burned. People pleasing? Torched. Tolerance for your nonsense? Ashes. She's not becoming unstable. She's becoming unavailable for the roles, the rules, and the rhythms that were never designed for her power."

PREACH, SIR. (I mean, please continue, by all means.)

"So check it," he goes on, "her estrogen is dropping, which means her capacity to sacrifice herself is silently plummeting, too. And the hormones that once kept her agreeable? They're packing their bags. She's no longer chemically encouraged to make you feel safe at her own expense. And you're calling that a problem? It's a wake-up call.

menopause, perimenopause, perimenopause symptoms, women, middle age Perimenopause is a wake-up call. Giphy

"Her nervous system is recalibrating. Her brain is rewiring. And her body is asking better questions, like, 'Why am I carrying this marriage?' 'Why do I say yes when I mean hell no?' and 'Why is everyone around me so damn loud and needy?'"

Seriously, who is this guy?

"She's not being hormonal," he says, "She's being clairvoyant. She's finally seeing through the performance, the politics, and the pressure. She's deleting what no longer aligns, and she's upgrading to a new operating system: Truth 3.0 with zero buffer time for B.S.

"This is your opportunity to rise along with her, man. This is your opportunity to grow. So next time you catch her looking like might spontaneously combust, don't flinch. Witness her. Because if you can survive the fire, you might just get to meet the woman who she was always meant to be."

menopause, perimenopause, perimenopause symptoms, women, middle age, wonder woman Menopausal woman discover their superpowers.Photo credit: Canva

Ordinarily, a man explaining perimenopause would have us all rolling our eyes and tossing around the word "mansplain," but Hunter received the social media equivalent of standing ovation in the comments from women who finally felt seen in his words:

"Omg who are you and where have you been all our lives?!? Thank you on behalf of all of us…can you come speak to my kids next??😂🔥🙌"

"Who are you? 😂 we like you (a lot) and nominate you our midlife spokesperson!!! ❤️🙌"

"The first time I have truly loved a man explaining something that happens to a woman. GO : Ladies send to your husbands and get those husbands to send it to all their friends. 🙌🙌"

"You just became the sexiest man ALIVE! Knowledge applied correctly….sexy!😍💯👏❤️"

"Your words made me tear up, so powerful thank you 🙌"

standing ovation, thank you, good job, menopause explanation, perimenopause Standing ovation for Michael Hunter Giphy GIF by Film Independent Spirit Awards

"Thanks for making us feel normal instead of washed up goods. I find it hilarious learning that menopause is why I can no longer tolerate ANY amount of BS😂 it’s been like a light switch. I feel like I just woke up one day & decided I was done with so much crap that I’ve tolerated in the past…I appreciate the positive spin he puts on this! Blessings my fellow menopause-ers!!"

"That has to be the best and most kind description of menopause I've ever heard. Fantastic. 😍"

"You couldn’t have said it better. It’s nice to hear a man have this perspective."

Someone even nominated Hunter to be an honorary member of the We Do Not Care Club. (Explained here, if you don't know.)

In all seriousness, though, the way he describes what's happening at this stage of life is spot on and such a refreshingly different way of perceiving it than we glean from society. And the fact that it's coming from a man is a strange kind of relief—like we don't have to try to explain ourselves because someone outside of it gets it.

Rock on, Michael Hunter. Thanks for the morale boost and for the education of our loved ones.

You can follow @upspiral.life on Instagram for more.

Culture

People born before 1990 are sharing their now-useless (but 100% nostalgic) skills

For instance, recording songs on tape from the radio while yelling at the DJ to shut up during the intro.

From holding the phone on your shoulder to folding a map to knowing what "cornflower" and "goldenrod" are, here are pre-Y2K skills at their finest.

Hey there, millennials! Welcome to the "Holy crapoly, I have real-life memories from 20 years ago!" club. It's a strangely disorienting milestone to reach when you find yourself starting sentences with, "When I was young…" or, "Back in my day…" isn't it? Your Gen X elders have been here for a while, but even we have moments of incredulously calculating how the heck we've arrived at this place. Time is a tricky little jokester, isn't it?

To highlight how much has changed for middle-aged folks since we were young, a user on Reddit asked people born before 1990 what useless skills they possess that nobody has a need for anymore. It's both a hilarious trip down memory lane and a time capsule of life pre-Y2K. (Do kids these days even know what Y2K was? Gracious.)

y2k, 90s, millennials, outdated skills, nostalgiaY2Kcore.Image via Canva.

If you're down for some good-old-days nostalgia, check out people's responses:

Making brown paper bag book covers

"I can cover a textbook with a brown paper bag." — sourwaterbug

Oh goodness yes. And there was always that one girl in class who had the art of the brown paper bag book cover perfected. (They're probably Pinterest influencers now.)


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Folding a map—and knowing where to find a map

"I can re-fold a map correctly."JungleZac

"Man remember actually using maps…I had an atlas with the road system in my car to navigate other states during road trips. Crazy." – jagua_haku

How did we ever figure out how to get anywhere before GPS and Google Maps? (Two-inch thick road atlases in our car and stopping at gas stations to buy local maps while traveling, that's how. Positively primitive.)

Memorizing phone numbers and answering the house phone

For real, though, kids these days don't even know.

"Remembering phone numbers." — greatmilliondog

"Not only that, having to speak to your friend's parents for a few minutes when you call their house." Logical_Area_5552

"How to take a message when the person they want to talk to isn't there." — Amoori_A_Splooge

How about dialing on a rotary phone, using a pay phone and making (or taking) a collect call?

nostalgia, 90s, millennials, rotary phone, phone callPhone Call Vintage GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy

The skillful phone shoulder hold

"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them." – Regular_Sample_5197

"100 ft phone cords 🤣" – mrch1ck3nn

"I got in sooooo much trouble for stretching the phone cord into the bathroom for some privacy. Accidentally clotheslined Grandma 😬 She laughed about it but Mom was pissed!" – AffectionateBite3827

Knowing the exact name of every Crayola color because we only had so many

"I know what the color “goldenrod” is." — ImAmazedBaybee

"That and burnt sienna were the crayolas of choice." — Signiference

"Cornflower would like a word." — cps12345

The art of the mixed tape—especially from the radio

I don't think kids these days fully grasp how revolutionary Spotify and the like are for those of us who spent hours in front of the radio with our cassette tape recorder queued up at just the right spot waiting for the song we wanted to record to come on. And they will never, ever know the frustration of the DJ yapping right up until the lyrics start.

mixtape, 90s, tape, cassette, nostalgiaMade you a mixtape. Image via Canva.

"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh-t or an ad" – Gankstajam

"'Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! I'm trying to record my song!!!'" – tearsonurcheek

"Haha yeah and trying to tell others so they don't make random noise or knock on the door.

How about making cassette-based mix tapes, trying to figure out to the second, how many and which types of songs in which order, that would still fit perfectly on the length of tape per side.

People who make digital recordings do not have to worry about 'running out of tape.'

Having the first side be tempting enough that they'd flip the other side to continue listening. That's before continual playback machines existed. Had to flip the cassette." – CrunchyTeaTime

And there were many more, from rewinding a cassette tape with a pencil to writing in cursive to tearing the sides off of printer paper without tearing the paper itself. (Oh and, of course, the ability to count out change and understand what you're supposed to do if something costs $9.91 and someone hands you $10.01.)

Gotta love it when the things that used to be totally normal now sound like historic artifacts found in a museum. Kind of makes you wonder what normal things from today we'll be laughing about in another 20 or 30 years.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Joy

Elderly millennials, this hilarious mammogram PSA was made just for you

“If you collected Beanie Babies, it’s time for your first mammogram.”

@followmercy/TikTok

Millennial nostalgia is finally being weaponized for good.

Boy, do we millennials love our nostalgia. And who can blame us? Our childhood was a colorful kaleidoscope of analog delights—the thrill of hearing Mr. Moviefone giving showtimes options, or better yet, hitting up the local Blockbuster for a movie night in, the joy of literally any Happy Meal toy…ugh, it really was a simpler time.

Also, our generation’s cartoons were hands down the best cartoons ever. There, I said it.

But sadly, millennials, our generation-wide nostalgia is now being used against us. At least it’s ultimately for our own good.


The staff over at the Mercy Healthcare Company released a tongue-in-cheek PSA featuring relics of our bygone era, saying that if you remember them, “it’s time to schedule your first mammogram.”

“If you collected Beanie Babies, it’s time for your first mammogram,” says one of the nurses in the video. Welp, I’m done for.

Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” portable DVD players, the “Rachel haircut,” Myspace, and of course, the sound of dial-up internet etched in all of our brains also made the list, among a few others.

Watch:

@followmercy

What do Beanie Babies, Myspace and dial-up internet have in common? If you remember when they were popular, it’s time to schedule your mammogram! #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth

Brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

Granted, this PSA technically doesn’t apply to all millennials. Typically, health care professionals suggest that mammograms begin at age 40 for those without a family history of breast cancer, and occur every year.

But still—message received. And well done, Mercy.

On a related note of growing older and wiser…millennials often get depicted as particularly nostalgic. But where that could get explained away by the onslaught of digitization, a measurable decline in quality of art, entertainment, clothes, etc. and living in a post 9/11 world, we can’t forget to note that perhaps we are also simply in a more nostalgic phase of life. The world around us has changed. Our place in society has changed. Our bodies have changed. It’s natural to look back with longing at what once was, since we are now more aware than ever that everything—including us—is temporary.

But that’s part of growing older—being able to hold both yearning and appreciation in our heart. Or, perhaps more appropriate in this case: scheduling that mammogram, then scouring Beanie Babies on Etsy…or whatever else delights your inner child. That’s one thing we millennials will always be good at, no matter how old we get.