A person with a dog in their lap.
As relationship gurus John and Julie Gottman attest, using humor is an effective way to ease tension, create connection, and maintain the necessary "5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio" in a healthy relationship. It serves as a vital repair attempt during conflict, provided that the humor is respectful and not a form of contemptuous mockery.
Sometimes, this takes the form of joke "rules" that somehow stick, either becoming lighthearted rituals that deepen a couple's connection or inadvertently establishing healthy boundaries in a way a "serious" conversation never could.
That's certainly been the experience of the Redditors below, who shared the "dumbest house rules" they established in jest with their partners, only to find that they became something "aggressively" enforced for the foreseeable future.
A happy, laughing couple. Photo credit: Canva
Though the answers are a mix of unique, wholesome, and absolute silliness, they're all relatable in their own way and a great reminder that some of the most seemingly insignificant choices we make in our relationships can have the biggest impact.
1. Safe word = "bananas"
"My immediate family is chaotic and we talk a lot and sometimes talk over each other at gatherings. I'm used to it. He was not. We agreed that we'd have a safe word of 'bananas'…He used it a few times at the beginning, he'd just whisper it in my ear and get up from the chaotic table and walk outside. Over the last 15 yrs it has evolved that 'bananas' is now just our everyday safe word, for when you want to be taken seriously. When the teasing is too much, when we feel like the other person isn't listening, when we're fighting a need a break, etc."
2. "Happy Birthday Bob"
"I once ordered a birthday cake for my wife and asked for 'Happy Birthday Mom' to be written on it. I picked it up, never looked at it and upon revealing to the family it said - Happy Birthday Bob. No other inscription is ever again allowed for her birthday cake to this day 15 years later. Our grown kids love it."
3. The pet chooses who does chores
"If the dog has 'chosen you' and sits on your lap, you are released of all responsibilities, and the other partner must get you whatever you want or need while the dog is on your lap. It is like 'king for the day' except it usually maxes out at 30 minutes. We take this rule very seriously…"
"We call this 'with cat' if you are with cat, you are relieved of anything and everything until the cat is removed and someone else must do it. It applies to everyone in the family. In all fairness I try to get everything done before I sit down because I am almost always with cat when I'm sitting."
A person with a cat in their lap. Photo credit: Canva
4. "Invoke the right" to rock, paper, scissors
"If there is a job/chore/task that one of us does not want to do, we are allowed to 'invoke the right' which is a game of rock, paper, scissors. You are not allowed to decline when someone 'invokes the right' and the loser must do the task.…This has gone on for 8+ years and is how we solve arguments 99% of the time. It was written into our wedding vows as a joke, but has stuck. We are so serious about it that 'invoking the right' will occur beyond the confines of our home, in public in front of friends and strangers who look at us like we are mad."
5. Matching undies
"Matching undies Mondays (hedgehogs) and Fridays (dinosaurs). Even when (or especially when) we're going through a rough patch, it's a stupid thing that unites us."
6. It's always the pet who farted
"All passed gas is blamed on whichever animal is closer. Every. Single fart."
7. Orange hat = do not disturb
"Everybody wears an orange hat if they are not to be disturbed. Started as a covid era solution to work conference calls and continues to this day."
8. Nightly tuck-ins
"I always go to bed a couple of hours before my husband. To make sure we end the day (aka my day) together, he always tucks me in, gives me a goodnight kiss, and we end with something happy. It started as a joke, but we both realized it was such a good way to end the day well and stay in sync. He has done this every single day for over five years."
9. No badmouthing the cars
"We don't talk sh*t about our cars where they can 'hear' us."
10. Popsicles are a shared treat only
"Popsicles are only to be eaten together. They come in a box with even numbers so if one person eats one then there is only odd numbers left. If you really want a Popsicle then the other must also eat a Popsicle. And when you get a Popsicle, you must also get one for the other."
11. Always say "I love you"
"We have to say I love you to each other when one of us is leaving even if we're furious, because what if the one leaving dies in a car accident."
12. Stringent binge-watching rules
"No more than 2 episodes of each show per day so we don't burn through them. The last 2 episodes per season must always be watched back to back, no cliffhangers."
A couple watching television. Photo credit: Canva
13. "Your Shelf/My Shelf"
"Loooooong time ago (like 25+ years), we instituted the Your Shelf/My Shelf rule. Any food or drink on Your Shelf or My Shelf is off limits to everyone else in the house. You are free to share your food, of course. But if I ask for a snack on your shelf, and you say no, I cannot get angry about it. And vice versa. We both got tired of the other one of us eating snacks that we were saving for later. We were so serious about it, that when our kiddo was a kid, they got their own shelf, too. Kid's gone now, but we still do YS/MS. Keeps the peace in the house!"
14. Butts must be smacked
"If youre bent over, and the other person walks by, they have to smack your butt."
15. Funny birthday cards
"You may not give a real birthday card. You must give either a card of the completely wrong age thats funny. Like last year for my 32nd birthday my husband gave me a pop-up YOURE THREE card with a You're three sticker inside, or it must in no way be birthday related. Ive given him a Catholic Confirmation card, a condolences card (I wrote that it was for the passing of his youth when he turned 30) and all manner of other things."
Assorted cards.Photo credit: Canva
16. "Captain Morning"
"I don't have a ton of trouble waking myself up, so I elected myself Captain Morning. Captain Morning is a whole persona to help my wife get out of bed. Kinda pirate/nautical in the voice and mannerisms? We start with a cup of coffee from her fancy machine, brought to her in bed. Then morning cuddles with the dog, with an enforced time limit so she stays on track. Captain Morning believes in hydration and nutrition, so I also make her lunch and refill her water bottle. When I'm on business trips I call her to wake her up and text her to make sure she's out of bed, because she's been deputized as First Mate Morning in my absence :)"
17. Chores for food
"If you want to swap chores you just buy the other person food. I hate putting laundry away, but I'll do it for a burger."