exposure therapy

Sophie Jones, 22, of Warrington, England, was so tired of having her life put on hold by her debilitating fear of rejection that she undertook a brave challenge. To overcome her fear of embarrassment, she forced herself to make an uncomfortable request of a stranger once a day for 30 days. She documented her journey on TikTok, inspiring tens of thousands of people to challenge their limitations.

It all started last February when Jones learned about rejection therapy, a form of exposure therapy she hoped could help her overcome her fears. Jones has been suffering from an intense fear of rejection since she was bullied as a teen. This made her shy away from relationships, social activities and professional opportunities.

“I was scared to make more friends. I felt I had no confidence within myself. I saw others with opportunities and thought, ‘Why did I not have them?’ I felt like it was holding me back. I felt like I’d lost control of my life. I struggled with my mindset and outlook on life,” she said, according to Good News Network.

So, in a TikTok video posted last May, she challenged herself to 30 days of rejection therapy and asked her followers to suggest some embarrassing situations where she would have to face her fears.

The initial video kicked off a series where Jones put herself in some seriously embarrassing situations. She asked someone in a supermarket to have something out of their cart, asked McDonald’s employees if she could step behind the counter and make a McFlurry and asked to sing with the band at a theater production.

After the first week of rejection therapy, Jones began to notice changes in herself. "When I first started, I was terrified—but that showed I needed to do it,” she told The Warrington Guardian. "I'm realizing it's never as bad as you think it will be, and the world will keep turning! I'd recommend the challenge to others—it's scary, but when you push past the fear, you feel more confident."

One of the most uncomfortable moments of the series was when Jones asked a fireman if she could slide down the pole at a local station. A policeman at the station told her that her chances of siding down the pole were “unlikely.”

“It's not even hearing no that's the worst part of this; it's the judgment side of it. You just feel so silly, and they look at you like, ‘what on Earth?’ but imagine in day-to-day life if you didn't have the judgment of other people,” she said in her TikTok video.

After completing the 30-day challenge, Jones and her audience didn't want to stop there. She then began a series of videos in which she pushed herself outside of her comfort zone.

Rejection therapy is a pretty straightforward way for people to overcome their fear of rejection if they can stomach the embarrassment. After multiple exposures, patients become desensitized and realize that nothing bad will happen even if they are rejected.

However, Dr. Elisabeth Morray, Licensed Psychologist and VP of Clinical Operations at Alma, suggests that people looking for help overcoming their fear of rejection would be well-served to go through the process with a professional.

“The risk of going it alone is that, without the support of someone who understands how to approach exposure therapy in healthy and responsible ways, pushing yourself head-first into the kinds of situations you fear can actually be traumatic in ways that will increase your fears, rather than reducing them,” says Dr. Morray, “rejection therapy may do more harm than good for people who need appropriate support and resources to have a therapeutic, rather than traumatic, experience of being vulnerable to the pain of rejection.”

Ultimately, rejection is a part of life, and unfortunately, we all deal with it from time to time. But by actively avoiding it, we cut ourselves off from many of the things that make life worth living, including friendships, professional opportunities and personal growth.

Rejection therapy may have made an incredible change in Jones’ life, but it’s also been a great example for the tens of thousands of people who have watched her videos and may have considered challenging themselves in the same way.

“Open your mind up to the abundance of life. The unknown means anything can happen,” Jones said, according to The Daily Mail. “You can wake up tomorrow with a dream email, you just need to open your mindset up to the possibility that great things can happen to you. If it can happen for other people, why can't it happen for you.”