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As a woman, I was written off as lazy and disorganized. My unexpected diagnosis? Autism.

Difficulty adapting to daily life is not a symptom often factored into the diagnostic process for autism. It should be.

Rushing off the subway platform, I race through the crowded streets to try to make lunch with my friend.

I’ve canceled on her twice this week, something she isn’t exactly thrilled about. As I cross an intersection, my foot catches the curb and I tumble to the ground, my phone smashing into the busy street.

Grabbing it quickly, my daily reminders flash through the cracked screen  — wash dishes, clean room, buy tampons, email manager. I groan, remembering that I was supposed to do all of these things before lunch. I start to panic, contemplating how I will squeeze them into my schedule now.

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When I found out I was pregnant in October 2018, I had planned to keep the news a secret from family for a little while — but my phone seemed to have other ideas.

Within just a few hours of finding out the news, I was being bombarded with ads for baby gear, baby clothes and diapers on Facebook, Instagram and pretty much any other site I visited — be it my phone or on my computer.

Good thing my family wasn't looking over my shoulder while I was on my phone or my secret would have been ruined.

I'm certainly not alone in feeling like online ads can read your mind.

When I started asking around, it seemed like everyone had their own similar story: Brian Kelleher told me that when he and his wife met, they started getting ads for wedding rings and bridal shops within just a few weeks. Tech blogger Snezhina Piskov told me that she started getting ads for pocket projectors after discussing them in Messenger with her colleagues. Meanwhile Lauren Foley, a writer, told me she started getting ads for Happy Socks after seeing one of their shops when she got off the bus one day.

When online advertising seems to know us this well, it begs the question: are our phones listening to us?

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