This video sums up what we all want to tell big pollution and delivers it as only Jeff Goldblum can.
"Just to recap, there's no argument about this. Don't be garbage people."
There's a problem in the secret, shadowy (fictional) cabal of big pollution. The EPA plans to put clean air safeguards on coal-fired power plants.
This was obviously met with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
All GIFs via League of Conservation Voters/YouTube.
So they brought in the one man who could help.
A shadowy man of myth and legend. The one man who could make this problem go away. Who could fix it. The Fixer.
Jeff.
Goldblum.
And after careful consideration, he has just one piece of advice about the plan.
That's because EPA's Clean Power Plan makes sense for everybody.
The plan, finalized in August and coming online in December, sets reasonable state-by-state limits for carbon pollution. Years of outreach and engagement have gone into this thing. Consumers will get new jobs and healthier lives, while the power plants get plenty of flexibility and time to innovate and optimize.
The fact big pollution is even objecting to it in the first place makes them:
Because as much as the big polluters whine and kick their feet about their bottom lines, it's a song and dance we're sick of hearing. As Goldblum states: "Frankly, I care much more about my children than your profits."
"Just to recap, there's no argument about this. Don't be garbage, people."
And that's all he had to say.
Here's the full thing in a collaboration between Funny or Die and the League of Conservation Voters.
Meanwhile, the real-life big polluters are trying to use Congress to dismantle the Clean Power Plan, but you can help stop them by signing the League of Conservation Voters' petition telling Congress to grow a backbone and stand up to them.