dad advice

Traditionally, the primary role of a husband and father in a family has been the provider and protector. That meant ensuring the family had enough resources to survive, thrive, and be safe from any physical threat.

Over time, this notion of family has evolved and men aren’t the only family members charged with providing and protecting.

Brian Moser, a father and husband who goes by TheDedicatedAFDad, argues that the meaning of the word provider has changed over time, and dads with an antiquated view of the role should listen up.

Moser believes that providing means more than just bringing home a paycheck.

“I can tell you that as a father and husband, my job when it comes to providing is to provide a safe, loving, healthy and nurturing environment for my wife and daughter,” Moser says in the video. “If I'm not providing the environment to where my wife or daughter can come to me with anything and everything, they might have to tell me I haven't done a good job as a man.”

According to Moser, being a provider also means fostering an environment where his family can be honest with him “even if it's criticism of what I have done or who I am or how I'm acting,” he adds.

The father and husband also says providing means setting an example of how women should expect to be treated. “I'm the first example of what a man is supposed to be, so if I'm not providing an incredible example for my daughter, she's not going to know what a good man is,” he says.

The video was a big hit, with many finding Moser brave for expanding on traditional ideas of masculinity and for taking responsibility for things that happen inside the home.

“The way this man speaks actually makes me emotional because it’s exactly what we’re all looking for, but yet it’s so rare to find,” Kelmac17 wrote. “I wish all men could hear your videos! Most women now make enough money; we don’t want you for what you can bring financially! We want an actual partner. Someone who will care for us as much as we take care of you.”

Upworthy spoke with Moser about how he understood what it truly means to be a provider.

"I always had a shining example growing up from my parents," he told Upworthy. "My mother and father always showed me what it means to love one another and support each other." But things changed with the birth of his daughter and he took on the role of provider. "I looked at that girl and realized I was going to do anything and everything in my power to love her, listen to her, guide her, and nurture her. I knew that every moment of my life would be geared towards providing for her in every way, shape, or form."

However, being a provider isn't always easy.

"The hardest part about being a provider is knowing that you will fail and that you have flaws," he told Upworthy. "Knowing that you will have to sit before your wife and daughter and hear that you have messed up. You have possibly hurt their feelings or not been there for them."

Moser makes many excellent points in his video. However, the overarching theme that ties them all together is that a man can make all the money in the world, but if he comes home and creates an environment of hostility and chaos, it doesn’t matter what’s in the bank account.

In Moser’s view, to be a provider is to be a well-rounded person who knows how to give financially and emotionally.

“Gentlemen, let me just say this is all you were providing for your family is the finances you might as well be a bank,” Moser concludes the video. “But if you are a true provider, a true man who provides for his family, you are giving them a safe, happy, loving home in which they know no matter what it is that you always come to you for anything.”