Chasten Buttigieg shared what marriage equality looks like after the Senate voted to protect it
The Respect for Marriage act would codify same-sex and interracial marriage into law.
Chasten and Pete Buttigieg.
In a landmark, bipartisan 61 to 36 vote, the Senate approved the Respect for Marriage Act on Tuesday setting the stage for same-sex and interracial marriage to remain legal, even if they are struck down by the Supreme Court. It’s believed that the bill will be quickly passed by the House and signed into law by President Biden.
Even though same-sex and interracial marriages are legal in the U.S., after the Supreme Court overturned Roe vs. Wade last summer, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas noted that the decision that legalized gay marriage rests on the same principles that underscored Roe.
This signal by the conservative justice pushed Democrats to quickly work to codify same-sex and interracial marriage into law.
If the Respect for Marriage Act becomes law it would require all states and the federal government to recognize legally-conducted marriages. Therefore, if the decisions that legalized same-sex and interracial marriages were overturned, states still would have to recognize all marriages conducted in the U.S.
So, if Kentucky made same-sex marriage illegal and a same-sex couple got married in another state where it was legal, say California, Kentucky would still have to recognize the marriage. The only barrier a couple would face to getting married would be traveling to another state to have their wedding performed.
Republicans added a religious consideration to the Respect for Marriage Act that protects nonprofit and religious organizations from having to provide support for same-sex marriages.
\u201c61-36: The U.S. Senate passes the Respect for Marriage Act, repealing the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act and codifying federal recognition of states\u2019 same-sex and interracial marriages.\n\n12 Republicans joined Democrats in voting \u201cyes.\u201d All the \u201cno\u201d votes were Republican senators.\u201d— The Recount (@The Recount) 1669764254
After this historic vote, Chasten Buttigieg, husband of Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, shared a Twitter thread where he showed what the Senate moved to protect. “This morning, after dropping the kids off, I came home and stopped to take in the aftermath of a chaotic morning. And it got me thinking. This is what marriage is to me,” Chasten wrote.
Last year, Pete and Chasten became the parents of a son and a daughter.
\u201cThe Senate is poised to vote on the #RespectForMarriageAct today. \n\nThis morning, after dropping the kids off, I came home and stopped to take in the aftermath of a chaotic morning. And it got me thinking. \n\nThis is what marriage is to me. \ud83e\uddf5\u201d— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten Buttigieg) 1669743573
Bibs I should have tossed in the sink that were leaking milk onto the counter. Little toothbrushes they used to scrub the teeth that have been keeping them up at night. Tiny hairbands from Penelope’s quick updo in which she kept repeating the word “bosh” while I brushed her hair.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
The stacked plates, empty and crusty after a hurried but hilarious breakfast full of giggles ad music. The twins bounced along to the Christmas music as they ate their bananas and eggs while I prayed for the coffee maker to go faster.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
My husband danced around me and fed the dogs while singing along to the music, which made the kids smile, doing his best not to get anything on his suit before rushing out the door and off to the to the airport. I didn’t remember where he was headed, but I knew it was important.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
This is what marriage is to me. Mornings spent negotiating diaper bags, getting sweaters on wiggling toddlers, and feeding the dogs. It's scattered building blocks on the floor and scrambled eggs on the wall. It’s goodbye kisses at the door and thermoses of coffee in the minivan.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
It’s having the right to juggle it all with the person who makes you feel loved and supported amidst the chaos. It's the right to have a shoulder to lean on at end of the day in the first place. It's the promise of hard work for your partner, your kids, and for us, our country.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
My marriage has filled this house with so much love it makes me want to be a better husband, father, and citizen every day. It’s called me to something bigger than myself while recognizing that my kids are now the most important thing in life, and I'd do anything to protect them.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
Our family and our union push me to make sure we leave our kids a country and a world they can thrive in so that they, too, can enjoy all of the love and light and happiness that Pete and I have known simply by falling in love with one another.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
I know how precious this union is and how sacred and fragile our unions can be in the eyes of our ever-changing democracy. We are not yet afforded the pleasure of letting our shoulders down, of taking a breath. We are fully aware that some desperately want to take this away.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
I hope that we can move on from these votes, these arguments, and these debates soon. I hope that our friends on the other side of the aisle will listen to over 70% of Americans and vote to protect families like mine and the unions that make us all better Americans.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
And if a member of congress is confused, or has questions and wants to turn down the noise from the online rhetoric - our playroom is always open, should you want to meet a family who is just trying their best to make their kids happy and their country better, just like you.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
Chasten’s post is poignant because it shows how all marriages, regardless of the sex of those involved, look the same. Especially after having kids. It’s constant domestic chaos, punctuated by quick outbursts of fun all tied together by love.
For those who oppose same-sex marriage, all they have to do is spend a morning in the Buttigieg household and they can see that it’s not much different than any straight marriage.
Chasten even invited members of Congress to come and visit his home to see for themselves.
“And if a member of congress is confused, or has questions and wants to turn down the noise from the online rhetoric—our playroom is always open, should you want to meet a family who is just trying their best to make their kids happy and their country better, just like you,” Chasten wrote on Twitter.
By colifying same-sex marriage into law, Congress won’t be doing anything revolutionary. It’d simply be solidifying rights that 71% of Americans think same-sex couples should have. Signing the act into law would also go a long way toward settling an issue that has been a point of contention for a generation.
“I hope that we can move on from these votes, these arguments, and these debates soon,” Chasten wrote on Twitter. “I hope that our friends on the other side of the aisle will listen to over 70% of Americans and vote to protect families like mine and the unions that make us all better Americans.”
