upworthy

body issues

TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.


“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack

Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," tirrelltribe added.

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthy. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack

Replying to @user3838812846970 she will always be perfect, no matter what.

This article originally appeared on 9.28.23

Last week, Melissa Harris-Perry was "a bit distressed" by a new commercial featuring Oprah Winfrey.

The MSNBC host responded to a recent TV ad Winfrey did for Weight Watchers after Winfrey bought a 10% stake in the weight-loss company last year.

While Harris-Perry was quick to note she certainly wishes Winfrey a successful 2016 — even if that means achieving the goal of shedding a few pounds — Harris-Perry took issue with one particular message within the ad, specifically, the part where Winfrey says that "inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be."


“I’m thinking to myself — but O, you are already precisely the woman so many are striving to be," Harris-Perry said during the open segment of her show.

GIFs via Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC.

Harris-Perry said she certainly understands why many women, especially those in the spotlight, struggle with body issues because she's been there, too.

"I know that your struggle with weight has been long and often personally painful," Harris-Perry said in her open letter to Winfrey. "And having spent my 30s gaining and losing a few dress sizes more than few times, I get it."

But still...

GIFs via Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC.

As Harris-Perry pointed out, none of Winfrey's many achievements have anything to do with her weight.

The whole segment is definitely worth watching below, but here's an especially powerful snippet (emphasis added):

"From surviving childhood poverty and sexual abuse, you have become one of the most influential humans on the planet. You have Emmys and awards and honors almost too numerous to count. You not only are the first and only black American woman to make the Forbes' billionaire list, you consistently rank among the most generous philanthropists in the world. Sister, you made the wealth, and you share it like no other black woman ever has. With a nod, you can generate a best-seller, launch a career, even help elect a president...

Who you are, what you have accomplished, how you have influenced and altered the world is all so much more important than your dress size. There is not one thing that you have done that would have been more extraordinary if you’d done it with a 25-inch waist."

Harris-Perry is on to something. Because not only should someone's size be irrelevant to their self-worth, it's not even necessarily relevant to their physical health.

Don't take my word for it, though — listen to Linda Bacon, Ph.D. She's a researcher and author of the new book, "Body Respect," and well-versed in weight-regulation science.

Bacon told Upworthy that, despite a lot of commonly held notions, you can't tell much about an individual's health simply by looking at their waistline.

"Even the heavily entrenched idea that heavier people eat more than thinner people isn’t supported by data," Bacon explained.

If size isn't even necessarily indicative of one's personal health — let alone their success — it shouldn't be a factor that drags Winfrey down. And it certainly shouldn't be a factor for anyone who isn't Oprah, either.

The Weight Watchers ad was personal for Harris-Perry because she knows young people are paying attention.

The host's daughter shares the same birthday as Winfrey, and that means the new Weight Watchers ad hit especially close to home.

"I regularly remind [my daughter] that sharing a birthday with you means she’s especially obligated to strive toward greatness," she said. "And I worry as a mom, and as a woman, about the messages our daughters receive if they think a woman as phenomenal as you is still not enough unless she is thin.”

GIFs via Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC.

Bottom line? Your success and worth have nothing to do with a number on a scale. And that includes you, Oprah.

Check out the whole segment below.