Trendy 'grandma showers' get a lot of flack online, but when can they be a good thing?
Maybe it's not all "boomer entitlement."
Perhaps there is a right and wrong way to throw a grandma shower.
Grandparents—grandmothers, in particular—often earn a bad reputation for using the arrival of a baby to shift the spotlight towards themselves, rather than becoming a support system for the new parents. Insisting on cutesy nicknames like “glamma” comes to mind as an example (that's not to say that grandmas can’t elect to have alternative nicknames; it's more so the lack of collaboration that’s sometimes involved).
And growing more popular over the past few years is the “grandma shower” trend, which is essentially a baby shower, complete with all the usual fanfare, such as games, gifts, registries, and the like. However, this time, the celebrations are geared towards welcoming a first-time grandma into her new role.
With the aforementioned factors in mind, it’s probably no wonder that critics have called grandma showers “tacky” and attention-seeking. One person even took to X to call it “peak boomer entitlement.” As far back as 2010, etiquette expert Judith Martin referred to it as a shallow gift grab.
@ylsentertainment Grandma shower time!!! #babyboy #babylove #grandma #shower #balloon #decor #smallbusinesscheck #workingmoms #fyp ♬ Mother - Meghan Trainor
just learned about “grandma showers.” her daughter/daughter-in-law gets pregnant… but they throw grandma a party, just for HER! gifts and everything. peak boomer entitlement
— mary morgan (@maryarchived) July 11, 2025
Perhaps, if we allow for nuance, we can see that there may be some circumstances where grandma showers are appropriate.
As popular grandparent advice site More Than Grand explains, having a group of coworkers celebrate a grandma shower during their lunch break, for instance, is virtually harmless, as are any other kind of low-key shindigs, since they don’t actually take anything away from the parents.
@morethangrand Are granny showers a nice new tradition or a tacky gift grab? Welcoming new grandparents with New Grandparent Essentials is always appropriate! Get New Grandparent Essentials at morethangrand.com/nge #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandma#newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting ♬ original sound - MoreThanGrand
Additionally, gifts could be a viable option if grandma is doing most of the caretaking and can’t afford to get these things herself. At least then, it’s the village’s needs that are being supported. Shared grandparent wisdom or grandparenting books could even be a good grandparent-specific gift that doesn’t necessarily cross a line.
@treva_e_hodges Getting a new grand baby soon! #DrMayor #GrandmaTreva ♬ Storytelling - Adriel
HappiestBaby.com also had a few other helpful guidelines:
-Not having the grandparent/parent host the party
-Wait to schedule the grandma shower for AFTER the actual baby shower, and obviously don’t schedule it for a competing time
-Don’t double-dip on the invite list
-If creating a registry, simply share the parent’s. Don’t create a separate one.
It should go without saying, but a lot of these common icks that come as a result of grandma showers could be avoided by simply consulting the mom-to-be on what she’s comfortable with, More Than Grand argues. Much of the conflict in this area stems from not giving parents the respect they deserve as the ultimate authority on what’s best for their child.
Of course, becoming a grandparent is a wonderful moment that is genuinely worthy of celebration. However, as is evident by the overwhelming number of absentee grandparents out there, it is not nearly as involuntarily life-changing as becoming a parent. And that seems to be the major thing that ruffles feathers. Keep this in mind, and having a slice of cake that says “congrats GMA!” shouldn’t be an issue.
A little bit of research prevents a lifetime of regret.