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People with avoidant and anxious attachment styules can have dificult relationships.

Attachment styles are the unique ways we connect with other people, and it is believed they are determined by the relationships we have with our caregivers as children. There are four main types. First, there’s the “secure” attachment style, where people feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They're comfortable in relationships and okay doing their own thing, too.

Second, there's the “anxious” style, where people often worry about their relationships and need extra reassurance that everything's okay. Third, people with the “avoidant” attachment style value independence and become uncomfortable when people get too close.

Lastly, there's the “anxious-avoidant” style. They are a complex mix of wanting to be close while afraid of getting hurt.

Obviously, the best chance of having a healthy relationship is being with someone with a secure attachment style. Relationship expert Julie Menanno says that people with anxious and avoidant attachment styles often push away those with a secure attachment style. “Secure partners aren’t comfortable with the anxious partner’s insecurity and overbearing ways, and they aren’t compatible with the avoidant partner’s lack of autistic emotional engagement,” Menanno wrote on Instagram.

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