Erin Bailey has taken a hard stand on sleepovers.
A mother who’s a criminal defense attorney is going viral on TikTok for a hard stance she has taken on her children going to sleepovers. For Erin Bailey of South Carolina, the answer is a big no. The reason? There are too many variables that could make her children vulnerable to sexual assault.
Bailey has a practice in Georgetown and is ranked among the Top 100 Criminal Defense Lawyers in South Carolina by the National Trial Lawyers.
"I don’t allow my children to go to sleepovers. I’m a criminal attorney and here’s why,” she opens the video. “First and primary is the S.A. [sexual assault] risk. While you may feel like you know the parents who are hosting the sleepover really well, and you know and love and trust them, that's exactly who's committing S.A.”
She adds that people who commit sexual assault are often those we trust the most. “S.A. against children is not committed by strangers in Target. It is not committed by random people on the street. It is committed by people we know,” Bailey said.
Four girls having a sleepover.
“You may know the parents, but you don't know necessarily the neighbors, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the older siblings, the friends of the older siblings," she continued.
She concludes with: "There's just too many variables, not to mention pew pews (guns) in the house, so it's just a no for us, no sleepovers."
When it comes to child sexual assault statistics, Bailey knows what she is talking about. Research shows that more than 90% of abusers are people children know, love and trust. Thirty to 40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Fifty percent of child sexual assault victims are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Her post received a lot of support in the comments from parents who share the same fears. "Attorney here too—no sleepovers, electric scooters, trampolines, or hoverboards," Buckeye wrote. "I was upset with my mom at first when she said no to sleepovers until something happened to a girl at a sleepover by the other girl's father," Hanips added.
However, some people thought Bailey was being a bit too cautious.
Four girls having a sleepover.
https://www.pexels.com/photo/girls-lying-on-bed-smiling-8790303/via Krampus Production/Pexels
"So do you just never let them go over to any friend's house? Because every single one of those things can happen without a sleepover," DallasDiscGolf wrote. "I’m glad I was allowed to enjoy my childhood. Sleepovers were a blast!" KevinJones2151 wrote.
"You sound like a blast as a parent. I'm sure you kids will have an amazing childhood," Leah added.
Bailey’s video clearly struck a nerve with the public because it has received over 3 million views on TikTok. But after all the feedback, she hasn’t changed her position.
“Childhood sexual abuse is a trauma that permanently alters the course of a child’s life,” she told Upworthy. “It is more common than most people think and most cases are never reported to the authorities. Further, most people who are abusers were abused themselves as a child. As a prosecutor and defense attorney, I have seen these cases up close and personal. Sleepovers are a small sacrifice to lower the risk for children.”