Two competing ideas shape how people settle on a personal identity. Is it about finding yourself, or is it about creating yourself? Is your true self waiting to be discovered, lost under layers of societal conditioning, or is it more of a persona, a personality that you develop over time?
Or are we nothing more than beings who are constantly changing, and is it best to be in a constant state of becoming? Should we, in Bob Dylan’s words, “be busy being born” rather than “busy dying”
When do people finally settle on an identity?
A recently published study from Finland examined people ages 27 to 61 and found an intriguing pattern in when people’s identities develop and become fully formed. But first, when the researchers talk about identity, what do they mean? For this study, they said identity includes your work, beliefs, relationships, and lifestyle.
For example, at one point, someone can settle on the idea that they’re a politically conservative artist who is spiritually a Buddhist, married, with 3 close friends, and enjoys an outdoorsy lifestyle.
Or they are an architect who’s politically liberal, spiritually an atheist, happily single, prefers spending time with his siblings, and spends his spare time traveling.
The study found that from 27 to 42, a person’s identity changes the most. After it settles at 42, it starts changing again at 50, but not as drastically as before. So it’s safe to say that the person you feel you are at 42 will probably become your core identity, with some tweaks in your 50s.
People change throughout their entire lives
“Our study showed that identity can continue to develop throughout adulthood,” doctoral researcher Liinu Marin from the University of Jyväskylä said in a statement. “The results indicated positive identity development between ages 27 and 61, with the most changes occurring between ages 27 and 42.”
Settling into who you are can benefit your mental health. “The study showed that a more positively developed identity was associated with better mental well-being. This was evident, for example, in better psychological and social well-being and fewer feelings of anxiety,” Marin says. “Mental well-being may also support or challenge the formation of identity. Nevertheless, the findings suggest that identity and mental well-being are linked in adulthood.”
If you feel lost, it’s okay
The takeaway for most people is that if you’re in your 20s or 30s and still haven’t quite figured out who you are, don’t worry. Science shows you’ll keep learning and developing for years to come. So don’t feel lost; eventually you’ll settle into your true identity. However, don’t get too comfortable, because even after your 40s, you still have more opportunities to change and grow.
Further, as the Buddha once said, “Nothing remains constant, but change.” So, if you don’t feel like settling on an identity, no problem. As a person on an evolving planet in a constantly expanding universe, what’s wrong with going with the flow and letting yourself change and grow right up until the end?
