+
upworthy
Family

Mom shares the super smart 'childcare swap' she does with friends to stay connected to her spouse

This is precisely what “It takes a village” means.

childcare swap, tiktok moms, jessica secrest

Jessica Secrest explains the "childcare swap."

"It takes a village to raise a child" is an African proverb commonly attributed to the Igbo and Yoruba tribes of Nigeria. The phrase encapsulates the worldview that child-rearing is the responsibility of an entire community, not just a singular family unit.

The phrase became popular in Western culture after Hillary Clinton's 1996 book, "It Takes a Village," which argued for a societal approach to children's welfare.

A viral TikTok video by Jessica Secrest from Grand Rapids, Michigan, has many thinking that she's the perfect example of what “It takes a village" means. She and her friend and fellow mom, Emily, have an arrangement where they watch each other's kids so they can have a date night with their husbands.

“It’s childcare swap night, which means that I’m at my friend Emily’s house,” she explained to the camera. “I fed her kids dinner, put them to bed, and now I’m waiting for her and her husband to get home from their date. And I told them stay out as late as possible please, because last time they didn’t. We made them reservations at a tiki bar downtown and then they’re going to the movies.”


“We do this once a month,” she continued. “So, I come over and watch her kids put them to bed and do all the bedtime routines. My husband stays home with my kids, and then in the future, she’ll do the same for me.”

@applesauceandadhd

I love that we started doing this! It is nice to go on a date and spend some one on one time with your spouse without kids on a semi regular basis! #childcare #babysitting #childcareswap #babysitforyourfriends #bestie #bestfriend #momtok #datenight #dateyourspouse #fyp #momsoftiktok #foryou

Secrest also noted that she and Emily don’t just watch each other’s kids during a childcare swap. They tidy up each other’s homes, too.

“While we do this, we try to pick up each other’s house and just leave it better than we found it,” she added. “It doesn’t feel like a break if you don’t come home to a cleaner home.”

Amen.

The simple arrangement is a beautiful way for bestie moms to support one another while giving each other more time alone with their spouses. A study from the National Marriage Project found that of couples that go on regular date nights, 3 out of 4 are “highly committed” to their relationships. Only about half of those who don’t regularly go on date nights report being “highly committed.”

“It’s so nice to reconnect with your spouse and be something other than just a mom,” Secrest admits. “Because I am a stay-at-home mom and sometimes it feels like all I am is waiting on kids, cleaning butts and wiping noses. And I never get to be with my spouse at all. Doing this once a month really helps.”

The comments on the video were overwhelmingly positive, and many of Secrest’s followers hope to set up a childcare swap of their own.

“I wish I had a friend! This would be so nice to do and be at peace knowing that someone you trust is caring for your children while u r on a date,” Alex_7238 wrote. “This is the definition of it takes a village!! Love this!!!" Kaley added.

Victoria thought that Secrest’s thoughts on coming home to a clean home hit the nail right on the head. “'It doesn’t feel like a break if you don’t come home to a clean house' OMG. SOMEONE FINALLY GETS IT,” she wrote.

Secrest’s post shows that when people have great support from their village, it not only helps to raise a child but also creates stronger marriages and happy families, too.

How often should you wash your jeans?

Social media has become a fertile breeding ground for conversations about hygiene. Whether it’s celebrities bragging about how little their family bathes or battles over how often people should wash their sheets or bras.

One of the debates that gets the most diverse responses is how often people wash their denim jeans.

Denim atelier Benjamin Talley Smith tells Today that jeans should be washed "as little as possible, if at all.” Laundry expert Patric Richardson adds they should be cleaned “after nine or 10 wearings, like to me, that is the ideal." At that point, they probably have stains and are "a little sweaty by that point, so you need to wash 'em," Richardson says.

Still, some people wash and dry them after every wear while others will hand wash and never hang dry. With all these significant differences of opinion, there must be a correct answer somewhere, right?

Keep ReadingShow less
Science

Time to add 'horrifying giant beach worms' to Australia's list of WTF wildlife

They can grow up to 9 feet long and live all along Australia's populated eastern coasts.

Australia's giant beach worms are often collected for bait.

In many ways, Australia is an ideal place to live. Its comfortable climate with plentiful sunshine, beautiful natural attractions, high standard of living and people-centered policies give the land down under a leg up on many other countries.

As long as you're willing to put up with its long list of "WTF is that thing?!" wildlife, that is.

Australia's wildlife is the "Florida man" of the animal kingdom, with countless examples of exceptionally terrifying creatures showing up where you least expect them to. Sure, there are cuddly koalas and cute kangaroos as well, but those don't outweigh the spiders the size of your face, the massive saltwater crocodiles, 100 species of venomous snakes, the nonvenomous but equally as scary pythons that can eat said crocodiles, the tiny but potentially deadly irukandji jellyfish, etc., etc., etc.

And thanks to people sharing on the internet, we now have one more reason we can never go live in Australia: Giant Beach Worms.

Keep ReadingShow less

Woman learns lesson in kindness after date apologizes.

How you treat people in the service industry is often used as a measure of what kind of person you are. Arguably, the same could be said for how you treat anyone in a customer-facing job, whether it be the sales associate at a department store, the cashier at McDonald's or the janitor in your office building.

While people may think that these jobs are not skilled positions, they do require an immense amount of skill that has to be learned. The skill just isn't as valued by society as a whole, and sadly, that often leads to people treating those in customer-facing jobs poorly. But when a woman recently went on a date with a potential partner, her poor behavior towards the waitstaff caused him to pause.

The story was shared by a woman by the name of Barbara NOT Barb on Twitter with a lengthy thread about her daughter's recent interaction. Though the details were juicy, it quickly became obvious that kindness is the way to go.

Keep ReadingShow less
Meta/Cristina Martinez

Cristina Martinez

In the age of artificial intelligence and virtual reality it’s easy to assume that original art is in jeopardy of being replaced by technology. But Cristina Martinez, an Afro-Latina contemporary artist known for her fine art content on Instagram, sharing the often-untold stories of Black and Brown people, is an example of how technological innovations can enhance the artistic process and help bring voices to often underserved communities.

Herdandez recently took part in the Meta Sonic Listening Party in Miami, an event that brought together artists from various disciplines to collaborate in unique ways as part of Meta’s “It’s Your World” campaign, designed to bring. together emerging artists, musicians and Creators to reimagine the next generation of creative expression.

Martinez spoke with Upworthy about her experience taking part in the Meta Sonic Listening Party and how new technology is shaping her as an artist and storyteller.


Keep ReadingShow less

Tom Hanks and Bill Murray


What do you think?


via Reasons My Son is Crying/Facebook

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWER

Given the narrow beauty standards in Hollywood, there are a lot of actors and actresses that look look amazingly similar.

Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt look a lot alike…

Keep ReadingShow less


Asexuality is often misunderstood.

In general, it's believed to be the absence of any romantic interest, but asexual identity actually means that a person is not sexually attracted to anyone. Romantic feelings and the strength of those feelings can vary from person to person.

Currently, about 1% of adults have no interest in sex, though some experts believe that number could be higher. For a long time, information on asexuality was limited, but researchers recently have found information that gives us more knowledge about asexuality.

Being asexual can be tough, though — just ask the artists from Empathize This.

To demonstrate, they put together a comic on asexuality, defining it as a sexual orientation, not a dysfunction:

Keep ReadingShow less