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daddy privilege, moms and dads

@bluffbakes on Tiktok

Chloe Sexton—baker, business owner, mother—knows all too well about "daddy privilege," that is, when men receive exorbitant amounts of praise for doing normal parental duties. You know, the ones that moms do without so much as a thank you.

In a lighthearted (while nonetheless biting) TikTok video, Chloe shares a "fun little story about 'daddy privilege'" that has now gone viral—no doubt due in part because working moms can relate to this on a deep, personal and infuriating level.

Chloe's TED Talks-worthy rant begins with:

"My husband has a job. I have a business, my husband has a job. Could not make that any clearer, right? Well, my bakery requires that we buy certain wholesale ingredients at this place called Restaurant Depot every week. You've seen me do videos of it before where I'm, like, wearing him or was massively pregnant buying 400 pounds of flour and 100 pounds of butter, and that's a weekly thing. The list goes on and on, like — it's a lot."

@chloebluffcakes

It’s the daddy hero treatment for me 🙃

♬ original sound - Chloe

Getting more revved up, she continued:

"So, last week, on the day I usually do it, my husband had the day off and he decided to go do it for me, but he also had the baby that day. When I tell you, the way that this man was treated like a hero — a hero. Mind you, those same people see me there every single week.

"I'm strapped up with a baby or seven months pregnant, hauling 100-pound bags at a time of flour in the back of my Subaru. Meanwhile, I'm getting a whole lotta nothing to see here. Just a woman doing woman things, busting her ass. But my husband! My husband wears the baby and he goes to Restaurant Depot for mommy's business and it's, Oh my god, look at you! Oh my god, you work so hard!"

Chloe's husband could also see the lack of logic, reporting to Chloe that it was "a little embarrassing."

And then, the pièce de résistance, when Chloe says "He's not a hero. He's just a father, just a parent, doing the same shit I literally do every week."

In an interview with BuzzFeed, Chloe was asked to delve a little deeper into this double standard among parents.

"In my opinion, 'daddy privilege' is that subtle upper hand men side-step into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply…being a parent," she said "You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?! It's all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up."

Wow, she really has a knack for telling it like it is, doesn't she?

Chloe's statements, however fiery and funny, are meant to bring society out of the Stone Age with this subject and shed light on just how outdated this dynamic is. She very much feels that dads should be cheered on, but that moms deserve equal praise.

"Women carry equal and, in some cases, majority breadwinner weight these days and still are deemed less worthy of parental praise somehow. I am a feminist to my core and will always fight for what is equal and just — today that means giving EVERY parent the same amount of attention. Every parent deserves to know that they are seen and appreciated."

In addition to watching this viral, you can catch all of Chloe's amazing content—including some drool-worthy cookie pics— on TikTok and Instagram. Or you can support this working mom's business by ordering some of her baked goods here.

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1989 video brings back strong memories for Gen Xers who came of age in the '80s.

It was the year we saw violence in Tiananmen Square and the dismantling of the Berlin Wall. The year we got Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally" and Michael Keaton in Tim Burton's "Batman." The year "Seinfeld" and "The Simpsons" debuted on TV, with no clue as to how successful they would become. The year that gave us New Kids on the Block and Paula Abdul while Madonna and Janet Jackson were enjoying their heyday.

The jeans were pegged, the shoulders were padded and the hair was feathered and huge. It was 1989—the peak of Gen X youth coming of age.

A viral video of a group of high school students sitting at their desks in 1989—undoubtedly filmed by some geeky kid in the AV club who probably went on to found an internet startup—has gone viral across social media, tapping straight into Gen X's memory banks. For those of us who were in high school at the time, it's like hopping into a time machine.

The show "Stranger Things" has given young folks of today a pretty good glimpse of that era, but if you want to see exactly what the late '80s looked like for real, here it is:

Oh so many mullets. And the Skid Row soundtrack is just the icing on this nostalgia cake. (Hair band power ballads were ubiquitous, kids.)

I swear I went to high school with every person in this video. Like, I couldn't have scripted a more perfect representation of my classmates (which is funny considering that this video came from Paramus High School in New Jersey and I went to high school on the opposite side of the country).

Comments have poured in on Reddit from both Gen Xers who lived through this era and those who have questions.

First, the confirmations:

"Can confirm. I was a freshman that year, and not only did everyone look exactly like this (Metallica shirt included), I also looked like this. 😱😅"

"I graduated in ‘89, and while I didn’t go to this school, I know every person in this room."

"It's like I can virtually smell the AquaNet and WhiteRain hairspray from here...."

"I remember every time you went to the bathroom you were hit with a wall of hairspray and when the wind blew you looked like you had wings."

Then the observations about how differently we responded to cameras back then.

"Also look how uncomfortable our generation was in front of the camera! I mean I still am! To see kids now immediately pose as soon as a phone is pointed at them is insanity to me 🤣"

"Born in 84 and growing up in the late 80’s and 90’s, it’s hard to explain to younger people that video cameras weren’t everywhere and you didn’t count on seeing yourself in what was being filmed. You just smiled and went on with your life."

Which, of course, led to some inevitable "ah the good old days" laments:

"Life was better before the Internet. There, I said it."

"Not a single cell phone to be seen. Oh the freedom."

"It's so nice to be reminded what life was like before cell phones absorbed and isolated social gatherings."

But perhaps the most common response was how old those teens looked.

"Why do they all look like they're in their 30's?"

"Everyone in this video is simultaneously 17 and 49 years old."

"Now we know why they always use 30 y/o actors in high school movies."

As some people pointed out, there is an explanation for why they look old to us. It has more to do with how we interpret the fashion than how old they actually look.

Ah, what a fun little trip down memory lane for those of us who lived it. (Let's just all agree to never bring back those hairstyles, though, k?)

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