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I told a kid a riddle my dad told me when I was 7. His answer proves how far we've come.

This classic riddle takes on new meaning as our world changes for the better.

I told a kid a riddle my dad told me when I was 7. His answer proves how far we've come.


When I was 7, my dad told me a riddle.

"A man and his son are driving in their car when they are hit by a tractor-trailer.

Photo via iStock.

(We were driving at the time, so of course this was the riddle he decided to tell.)

The father dies instantly.

The son is badly injured. Paramedics rush him to the hospital.

Photo via iStock.

As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look the boy and says:

'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'

How is that possible?!"

Without missing a beat, I answered:


"The doctor is his mom!"

Photo via iStock.

My dad first heard the riddle when he was a child in the '60s.

Back then, most women didn't work outside of the home.

Few of those who did had college degrees, much less professional degrees.

Female doctors were few and far between.

Back then, it was a hard riddle. A very hard riddle.

By 1993, when I first heard it, the notion that women could be highly skilled, highly trained professionals wasn't so absurd.

To me, it was normal.

I knew women who were lawyers. Bankers. Politicians. My own doctor was a woman.

To be sure, women still faced challenges and discrimination in the workplace. And even 20 years later, they still do.

But at its core, the riddle is about how a family can work. And that had changed. Long-overdue progress had rendered the big, sexist assumption that underpinned the whole thing moot.

A very hard riddle was suddenly not a riddle at all.

I never forgot it.

Now, I'm 30 — almost as old as my dad was he first told me that riddle.

My dad at 30 (left) and me at 30. Photos by Eric March/Upworthy and Mary March, used with permission.

I don't have kids, but I mentor a child through a volunteer program.

Once a week, we get together and hang out for an hour. We play ping pong, do science experiments, and write songs. Neither of us like to go outside.

It's a good match.

One day, we decided to try to stump each other with riddles.

He rattled off about five or six.

I could only remember one: The one about the man, his son, and the surgeon.

Photo via iStock.

I thought it would be silly to tell it.

I was sure that, if it was easy in 1993, it would be even easier in 2014. Kind of ridiculous, even.

But a part of me was curious.

It had been 21 years — almost as long as it had been between when my dad first heard the riddle and when he shared it with me.

Maybe it wouldn't be so easy.

Maybe I was missing something obvious, making my own flawed assumptions about how a family could work.

Maybe the world had changed in ways that would be second nature to a 13-year-old but not to me.

So I began:

"A man and his son are driving in their car, when they are hit by a tractor-trailer. The father dies instantly. The son is badly injured and is rushed to the hospital by paramedics. As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look at the boy and says:

'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'

How is that possible?!"

Without missing a beat, he answered: "it's his other dad"

Photo via iStock.

Times change. Progress isn't perfect. But no matter what shape a family takes, at the end of the day, #LoveWins.


This article was written by Eric March and originally appeared on 06.21.16

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this:

"Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting."

Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures.

TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.



Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.

People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

Via Good Deeds Day / Facebook

It's estimated that only a few hundred thousand Holocaust survivors are still living. Sadly, in the coming years that number will eventually make its way to zero.

Nazi concentration caps were liberated 74 years ago, so a twenty year old who made it through the atrocity is now 94. Elihu Kover of Nazi Victim Services for Self-help Community Service spoke of the conditions many of these elderly survivors face as they advance in age at a Senate hearing in 2013.


"Holocaust survivors are growing older and frailer. … She may be coping with the loss of her spouse and have no family to speak of. In addition to the myriad problems associated with so-called 'normal aging,' many survivors have numerous physical and psychological problems directly attributable to their experiences during the Holocaust. … And many of these problems only surface in old age, having been hidden during their working years when the survivors struggled and made a new life for themselves as productive citizens of this country."

This sympathetic view of the tragedy isn't as popular in the Arab world where Holocaust denial is rampant and many cynically accuse the Jewish people of exploiting Western sympathy surrounding the tragedy to establish the State of Israel.

However, in 2019 two Arab men in Haifa, Israel made a beautiful show of respect to a Holocaust survivor who found their gesture "uplifting." And with the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, it's a powerful reminder that good people are everywhere.

Simon and Salim Matari, who are brothers, were recently called to the home of Rosa Meir, 95, to fix a leak.

"When we got there, we saw there was a large blast of water and we started fixing it," Simon told the Times of Israel. "At some stage, while working, my brother Salim started to talk to Rosa about her life. She told us she's 95, a Holocaust survivor, and that she has a daughter."

"Her life story touched my heart," Simon continued. "At that moment, I decided I won't take a cent from her."

After the brothers finished their work, they gave Meir a bill that read: "Holocaust survivor, may you have health until 120, from Matari Simon and Matari Salim," adding that the cost of the service was "0 shekels."

"May you live until 120" is a Jewish blessing that carries the implication that the receiver live a happy and healthy life until the age of 120.

The gesture brought Meir to tears.

"The brothers really surprised me," she said. "It was so moving and uplifting, and I thanked them a lot."

The brothers also told the woman that if she needed anything else they would be by to fix it for free.


This article originally appeared on 10.9.19

Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.



Clayton’s videos make a huge impact on people. His latest “Dinner With Dad” had 3 million views. Many share being brought to tears, for different reasons.

@yourprouddad

Happy Sunday❤️. Is school out for you??

♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits

Some are reminded of what they once had with their own fathers.

“I’m never gonna have something like this again,” wrote one person.

Others lament what they will never get.

“I would die for my parents to say they are proud of me just once,” wrote another.

Most fully embrace Clayton as a stand-in father, sharing their personal triumphs, challenges, and insecurities.

One person shared, “Hi dad, I got into volleyball.”

Another vented, “Dad…I can’t sleep thinking about how scared I am of real life.”

Channeling Rob Kennedy, the creator of the “Dad How Do I?” YouTube series, Clayton also shares practical skills one might ask their father, such as how to tie a tie.

@yourprouddad

How to tie a tie!

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

Or shave. Although he says you do it the same way for every part of your body … I would double check with mom on that.

@yourprouddad

POV:Dad teaches you to Shave🙂

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

With his videos, Clayton exudes unconditional love and support, helping others feel accepted. In the video below, he happily offers his chips to kids who are straight and those who come out. And with both, he jokingly snatches the chip back. If that’s not dad behavior, I don’t know what is.

@yourprouddad

I’ll love you just the same. Dad jokes all around😂😂

♬ Zou Bisou Bisou - Gillian Hills

He’ll even tuck you in after you fall asleep to your favorite show. Pure sweetness.

@yourprouddad

POV:Dad teaches you to Shave🙂

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

Yep, Clayton gets dad jokes, in the best way. Like the time when he just couldn’t remember what special day it was … oh right, it’s your birthday. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Then he presents three different cakes. It’s cheesy and delightful.

@yourprouddad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉

♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits

Clayton might not be a biological father (yet), but he makes for one great dad. It’s lovely to see the power of the internet being harnessed in such a positive and uplifting way. Thanks to TikTok, it’s never too late to have dinner with dad.


This article originally appeared on 5.3.22

Culture

The 12 most badass action films with powerful female leads

“I will fight — for those who cannot fight for themselves.”

Hollywood is finally moving closer to equality. The past few years have seen a growing number of films starring, written by and directed by women. There's still a lot of progress yet to be made, of course. But there's one area where women have been kicking butt and taking names for decades: action films.

Ironically, action films are stereotyped as the launching pad of the manliest of manly men: Schwarzenegger, The Rock, Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone and so on. But some of the biggest action hits, both critically and commercially, are led by women. You might have seen some criticism that some of the more recent female-led action films aren't very good. And that's true. Like any Hollywood genre, when you roll the dice enough times, you get some losers. Part of equality inevitably means that not every film featuring women is going to be an all-time classic. But those winners do exist and we've put together a list to show that some of the very best action movies ever made put women front and center.

If you're looking to expand your home video library for the holidays or just searching for a great holiday playlist while taking out some healthy aggression, here are 12 of our all-time favorite films featuring strong women.


No. 12: Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)

Quentin Tarantino has a complicated relationship with some of his female actors, especially Uma Thurman, who criticized the director's disregard for her personal safety during the making of the Kill Bill films. But there's no denying Kill Bill Vol. 1 is a tour de force that brought QT back into Hollywood's good graces after the box office setback of Jackie Brown (another kickass female-led film, btw). The Bride's tale of revenge is riveting, violent and even funny at times. It's impossible not to look at, as Thurman leaves a bloody trail in her quest for justice against the evil Bill. The action peaks in an insane battle between The Bride and the Crazy 88 but the entire movie is a re-watchable blast from start to finish and will help kill the time until the dynamic duo reunites for Kill Bill 3!

Watch it now: Kill Bill Vol. 1, $3.99; on Amazon


No. 11 The Hunger Games (2012)


Jennifer Lawrence is an Oscar winner and social media icon. But she first connected with mass audiences in her role as Katniss Everdeen. The entire Hunger Games trilogy was a smash hit but the first entry in the series remains our personal favorite. Not everything has aged perfectly since the film first premiered. While we love Josh Hutcherson in Future Man, he's a little short for a Stormtrooper, as another iconic female lead once famously said. Nonetheless, J-Law carries this film on her charisma and completely sells her journey from humble daughter to deadly revolutionary.

Watch it now, $3.99; on Amazon


No. 10 Captain Marvel (2019)

Brie Larson is one of most talented young actors in Hollywood today. So, when she signed up to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, fans were understandably excited. And Captain Marvel did not disappoint. The film is already one of the most financially successful in the Marvel franchise and Larson's character Carol Danvers was able to seamlessly take a leading role in an already massive cast of proven winners. The movie was subject to some controversy because of Larson's outspoken advocacy on social issues and some of the ensuing backlash from vocal minorities on social media. Now that there's been enough time for that noise to pass, we're left with the movie itself to judge. And it's simply a blast. Larson has natural chemistry on-screen with Samuel L. Jackson that leads to plenty of laughs. Jude Law makes a compelling foil for Captain Marvel and the film is full of surprising and fun twists. The Marvel Cinematic Universe is stronger with Brie Larson in it and this is a film we'll be watching on repeat while we wait for the next installment.

Watch it now, $14.99 with bonus content; on Amazon


No. 9 La Femme Nikita (1990)

The 1990 action thriller from director Luc Besson was ahead of its time both stylistically and, of course, in its story centered around Nikita. The story has been remixed, copied and redone so many times, we've lost count. But this one still has so much going for it. If you like Marvel's Black Widow, or pretty much any Angelina Jolie action film, you'll love this one. The less said the better, as its plot and incredible action sequences are better kept in all their surprising glory. That said, this one is a hard rated "R," so don't show it to your daughters or their friends until they are age-appropriate!

Watch the original trailer here


No. 8 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

It's hard to properly explain just how influential Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was upon its release. But consider just some of its accomplishments: An international film that was both a box-office smash and an awards contender. These days, we're a bit more accustomed to our action and superhero films also being genuinely "good" films, but that was rarely the case when Crouching Tiger first premiered. It's revolutionary fighting "wire work" continues to influence action films nearly 20 years later and Michelle Yeoh has gone on to several leading roles in other Hollywood films and TV shows including Crazy Rich Asians, Star Trek: Discovery, and the forthcoming Avatar sequels with female action star pioneer James Cameron. It's all a circle, folks.

Watch it now, $6.99; on Amazon

No. 7 Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

To most people, this is a Tom Cruise vehicle. But the real action star of the film is clearly co-star Emily Blunt. She's everything we've come to expect out of a typical Cruise role: confident, no-nonsense and ready for whatever the impossible mission requires. Their chemistry in this film is perfect, with Cruise playing off Blunt's mastery with his own anxious ticks, paranoia, chicanery and fear-driven choices. When Blunt's character Rita is forced to take Cruise's Cage under her wing, the sparks fly in a riveting, action-packed film that has a really unique and emotional story to boot. Rumors of a sequel and/or prequel (trust us, it's part of the film's charm) continue to circulate but this feels like more of a one-off gem for both Blunt and Cruise. We'd be first in line to see them pair up on the screen a second time, but only if Blunt stays in charge.

Watch it now, $7.99 with bonus features; on Amazon


No. 6 Wonder Woman (2017)

Wonder Woman is a great metaphor for the state of superhero movies. Marvel films are the dominant force and they are almost entirely centered around male characters. Then, along came this unexpected megahit from DC Comics starring Gal Gadot, who had previously made her mark in smaller supporting roles in films like the Fast and the Furious series. And Gadot is nothing short of a revelation as Wonder Woman, a film that rocked the box office and won over critics alike. Wonder Woman is a perfect bridge for women who are reluctant to watch superhero films and for guys who are hesitant to watch a film led by a strong woman. Diana is everything we want out of our heroes and she has a great supporting partner in Chris Pine's Steve Trevor. Director Patty Jenkins captures the action and emotional arcs in vivid colors and crisp action sequences. Wonder Woman truly raised the bar for women in superhero films and for the genre in general.

Watch it now, $7.99; on Amazon

No. 5 The Force Awakens (2015)

Oh, how time flies. It's only been four years since Star Wars returned to the big screen. And it's easy to forget what a big deal this film was. It shattered the domestic box office record and silenced most of the critics who thought the George Lucas prequel trilogy was a serious letdown. And the whole thing hinges on the performance of Daily Ridley's young Jedi in training, Rey. Yes, millions of us showed up to catch a glimpse of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo back on the big screen, but director J.J. Abrams was clear this would be a story about the next generation of galaxy heroes and he didn't disappoint. Despite some backlash over whether Rey was "too strong" in the Force, this movie and its sequel The Last Jedi were both massive hits. And re-watching The Force Awakens is a reminder of what a journey Rey has already gone on before her trilogy is even complete.

Watch it now, $12.99 with bonus features; on Amazon


No. 4 Rogue One (2016)

The strongest of the non-Skywalker Star Wars film, Rogue One continues to grow in audience appreciation over time. Jyn Erso is a classic Star Wars character while also feeling entirely new. Her journey as a reluctant member of the nascent Rebel Alliance is highly relatable and emotionally satisfying. And unlike so many other prequels, Rogue One brilliantly queues up the original Star Wars trilogy in a surprising and heart-racing fashion. Rogue One is the most "adult" of the Star Wars films but never feels gloomy despite high stakes and ultimately tragic story. It's also one of the most re-watchable movies of the past decade and would make a fine addition to your home library. The Force is strong with this one.

Watch it now, $3.99; on Amazon

No. 3 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

And now we're in true action epic territory. Much like with Edge of Tomorrow, it's easy to mistakenly assume this is an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. After all, his Terminator is all over the marketing and has become a timeless global icon. Arnie's T-800 is the only character to appear in all films, including the increasingly weak sauce sequels and spinoffs. But purists know there are really only two Terminator films and Linda Hamilton's Sarah Conner is the star of both. In the first film, Conner is a frightened woman on the run who discovers her inner strength through her comrade, savior and future lover Kyle Reese. It's a tender romance hidden in the confines of a action-horror masterpiece. By 1991, director and writer James Cameron decided to push the budget, story and female empowerment to an entirely new level. When we catch up with Sarah Conner she's a broken woman. No one believes her story about the futuristic killing machine out to destroy humanity, not even her young son, John. It's a set-up that is reminiscent of so many action films previously starring men. But the simple gender twist puts an entirely new meaning into the proceedings. In the same way that Conner learns to be tough in the first film, she rediscovers her vulnerability through her son John but not before kicking an extreme amount of ass along the way. Despite being very much a product of its time, Terminator 2 has aged nearly perfectly after almost three decades, something even the best of films can rarely say. The fact that this applies to a film heralded for its special effects, is even more surprising. And that's all because it's anchored in the incredible story of Sarah Conner. Arnold may "be back" but Sarah Conner isn't going anywhere.

Buy it now, $9.99 Special Edition; on Amazon

No. 2 Aliens (1986)

Sigourney Weaver was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance as Ripley in the Alien sequel, also written and directed by James Cameron. Like Sarah Conner, Ripley has transformed physically but carries deep scars of emotional vulnerability. In its own powerful way, Aliens is a textbook guide to countering gender norms and sexism. Ripley is never judged for being a woman. She's judged for her personal capabilities and wow is Ripley ever capable. Aliens is a film that spawned a dozen catch-phrases and countless other signature visuals and plot elements that have been shameless copies by other filmmakers over the past 30+ years. If you've never seen Aliens, it might almost feel familiar because you've probably seen so many of its elements in lesser films that came later. But it's themes are timeless: corporate greed run amock and a hero standing alone in the face of doubt against seemingly insurmountable odds. The superior Director's Cut is over two and a half hours but rest-assured this isn't the Irishman. We challenge you to put on Aliens and see if you're able to stop before it's over. Some film critics prefer the original and we're here for Alien any time, anywhere. But put us in the camp of preferring the sequel when it comes to pure storytelling, that re-watchable factor and the sheer mastery of craft on display. It simply doesn't get better than this.

Watch it now, $3.99; on Amazon

No. 1 Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Nominated for 11 Academy Awards, this isn't just the best female-led action movie ever, it's one of the best films of the 21st century, period. The fact that it's the fourth entry in a loosely connected series of action films previously starring Mel Gibson is even more impressive. And let's not forget this film came out at a time when Tom Hardy was on top of the world. But anyone who sees Fury Road will quickly realize this film absolutely belongs to Charlize Theron and the band of "mothers" she's set out to protect from the radiation laden war boys who want to use them as baby factories to populate their dying world. On the surface, Fury Road is a two-hour action sequence, full of cars, guns and, yes, guitars with flame throwers on them. We're here for you, Duff. But it's almost a subtle and satisfying master class in feminism that breaks and reshapes so many cinematic tropes that it's nearly impossible to keep count. Fury Road is the kind of film that will be taught in universities for decades to come but can also be thrown on at any respectable midnight movie screening. It's the purest form of pop culture as art, commentary and cinema. It's a shame that it didn't take home the top prize for Best Picture but it's also obviously the one that will be remembered as the best movie of the year as it endures the test of time. An absolute classic and the perfect popcorn film with layers of depth for anyone looking for a great time (with great women) at the movies.

Watch it now, $3.99; on Amazon


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This article originally appeared on 12.12.19

via David Grinspoon / YouTube

In 1989, CNN founder Ted Turner asked iconic astrophysicist and science communicator Carl Sagan about his political leanings.

Surely, someone with such a deep understanding of the universe and a passion for humanism would have important insights into how we organize ourselves politically.

"Are you a socialist?" Turner asked Sagan. "I'm not sure what a socialist is," he replied.


While it seems unlikely Sagan was unfamiliar the concepts of socialist political theory, he was smart to sidestep the loaded term.

Socialism is such a broad concept that, in the modern era, it could be applied to numerous countries of varied economic development from Cuba to Canada. Conservatives tend to see it as a malignant political idea and point to Venezuela as a failed socialist state.

While many liberals point to Democratic Socialist countries in Europe such as Denmark and Germany where people have a standard of living that is comparable and, in some ways superior, to the United States.

Back in the '80s "socialist" was used by the U.S.S.R. to describe its totalitarian communist regime, so Sagan was smart to distance himself with any association with the bloc.

Ted Turner asks Carl Sagan if he is a socialist.www.youtube.com

So Sagan provided his own definition.

"But I believe the government has a responsibility to care for the people," he said.

"I'm talking about making people self-reliant, people able to take care of themselves," he continued. "There are countries which are perfectly able to do that. The United States is an extremely rich country, it's perfectly able to do that. It chooses not to. It chooses to have homeless people."

He also noted that in 1989 we were 19th in infant mortality. "We are 19th in the world in infant mortality. Eighteen other countries save the lives of babies better than we. How come?" Sagan asked, rhetorically.

Sadly, things have only gotten worse over the past 31 years. The U.S. is currently ranked 47 infant mortality.

"They just spend more money on them," said Sagan. "They care about their babies more than we care about ours. I think it's a disgrace."

Sagan also believed that the U.S.'s priorities are completely mixed up. We have a hard time helping our most vulnerable citizens, but we still have enough money to pay for high-priced weapons systems.

"Just look at what something like 'Star Wars,'" Sagan said, pointing to a costly '80s defense program. "We've already spent $20 million on it. And if these guys are permitted to go ahead, they will spend a trillion."

31 years later, things haven't improved, we're near an all-time high in military spending at a time when the world has never been more peaceful.


"Think of what that money could be used for: to educate, to help, to bring people up to a sense of self-confidence," Sagan added.

"To improve not just the happiness of people in America, but their economic standing, to improve the competitiveness of the US compared to other countries. We are using our money for the wrong stuff."


This article originally appeared on 10.5.20