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Cruise ship lawyer shares the one 'secret' code word you never want to hear on a ship

It gets called a few times a month.

cruise ship, ship codes, man overbaord

A beautiful cruise ship crossing the seas.

Going on a cruise can be an incredible getaway from the stresses of life on the mainland. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t an element of danger when living on a ship 200-plus feet high, traveling up to 35 miles per hour and subject to the whims of the sea.

An average of about 19 people go overboard every year, and only around 28% survive. Cruise ship lawyer Spencer Aronfeld explained the phenomenon in a viral TikTok video, in which he also revealed the secret code the crew uses when tragedy happens.


"Here's a secret most cruise lines don't want you to know," Aronfeld begins his video. "About 1 to 2 passengers a month are reported as missing or, man overboard, major cruise lines." He adds that even though ships have radar systems that can detect when something has fallen off the boat there are a lot of false alarms caused by garbage, luggage and even deckchairs that people have thrown off the ship.

@cruiseshiplawyer

#cruiseship #cruisecrew #passenger #cruising #maritime #lawyersoftiktok #lawyer #manoverboard

Further, after someone goes over the rail, the ship continues to move, so it is nearly impossible to find the overboard passenger who is probably seriously injured from the fall. "The truth is that by the time a passenger is reported missing and has gone overboard, there is likely no chance that passenger will survive and no chance that the ship will ever find them," Aronfeld says.

Aronfeld concluded the video by sharing the secret code that cruise lines use when someone has gone overboard. "Code Oscar. Code Oscar. That's how you know that a passenger has been reported as having gone overboard," Aronfeld said.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

A group of students staring at their phones.

The Norwegian government is spearheading a significant initiative to prohibit students from having smartphones in schools. This move comes in the wake of compelling studies demonstrating the positive impact of removing these devices from students’ hands and allowing them to focus more on their learning.

The effects have been particularly beneficial for girls.

Over the past few years, smartphone bans have cropped up in several school districts throughout Norway, allowing researchers to study how the bans affected students. Sara Abrahamsson, a postdoctoral fellow at the Norwegian Institute of Public Health, analyzed students at 400 middle schools and found that the bans had psychological and academic benefits.

The Norwegian Institute of Public Health published the results.

1 Girls made fewer appointments for psychological help

The study found that there was a significant decrease in the number of visits that girls made to see a psychological specialist for mental health issues. “Relative to pretreatment this is a significant decline by almost 60% in the number of visits,” Abrahamsson wrote in the study.

2. Steep drop in bullying

The study shows that girls experienced a 46% reduction in bullying after smartphone bans were enacted and boys had a 43% reduction.

smartphone, smartphone ban, norway

Boys looking at memes on a smartphone.

via Max Fischer/Pexels

3. Improved grades for girls

The study revealed that introducing a smartphone ban at the beginning of middle school improved girls' GPAs and increased their chances of enrolling in an academic-oriented high school track versus a vocational study. On the other hand, the ban appeared to have no notable effect on boys’ GPA, teacher-assigned grades, or likelihood of pursuing an academic high school track.

4. The ban had a more significant effect on economically disadvantaged girls

The study found that the ban resulted in greater benefits for economically disadvantaged girls regarding academic performance, appointments for psychological symptoms and the probability of attending an academically focused high school.

The positive impact that the bans have on girls is significant, given the fact that studies show they’ve been the most deeply affected by the rise in mental health issues amongst young people that have coincided with smartphone adaptation.

One of the most disturbing trends is the dramatic rise in suicide rates among girls in developed nations.

smartphones in schools, norway, smartphone ban

Students taking a selfie in school.

via RDNE Stock Project

Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” and advocate for banning smartphones in schools, explained why smartphone use is more damaging for girls than boys.

“There is a special relationship between social media and girls,” Haidt told “The Reason Interview with Nick Gillespie” podcast. “When boys get together … they're likely to organize themselves into groups to compete [on multiplayer video games].”

“Girls are much more interested in talking about relationships. Who is on the outs with whom? Who's dating who? They have a more developmental map of the social space,” Haidt continued.

When there is conflict within peer groups, social media poses a much greater threat to girls.

“Boys' aggression is ultimately backed up by the threat of physical domination and punching or pain, " Haidt continued. “Girls' aggression is equal in magnitude, but it's aimed at relationships and reputation. It's called relational aggression. Video games, if anything, prevent boys from getting in fights. … The platform settles everything. But girls' relational aggression is amplified. The worst year of bullying is seventh grade. I'm really focused on middle school.”


Family

Every parent thinks they'd never forget their child in the car. But 'never' still happens.

Tragic hot car deaths are preventable, but only when parents acknowledge they are fallible.

No one thinks it could happen to them until it does.

I never thought it was possible for me to forget my child in the car—until the day I did.

I was a super conscientious mom, reading all the parenting books, cautious about health and safety, 100% committed to my children's well-being. I held my babies close, figuratively and literally, wearing them in slings and wraps much of the time and taking them everywhere. They were like physical extensions of me–how could I possibly forget them?

Here's how. My oldest was nearly 4 years old when I had my second child. One day, when the baby was a few weeks old, our family was out running errands. Everyone was hungry, but I needed to grab something from Michaels craft store, so I dropped my husband and 4-year-old at home first to start dinner. The baby was sleeping in her car seat and I decided to take her with me in case she woke up and needed to breastfeed.

Somewhere between our driveway and Michaels, I completely blanked that I had a baby in the car.


I hadn't been in a car with a child for several years without any sound—my oldest was always talking or singing or something. It was never quiet in the car unless I was alone, so my sleep-deprived brain interpreted the silence of my sleeping baby in the car as me being alone.

I got to the Michaels' parking lot, got out of the car, locked the door and went inside. I grabbed a shopping cart and headed to the back of the store to pick up whatever I needed. When I flipped down the plastic seat on the cart where you put a kid, it triggered the awareness that I didn't have a child with me and everything stopped. Even 19 years later, I can perfectly picture the moment it dawned on me what I'd done when the world went into slow-motion as I ran through the store and out to my car.

There she was, blissfully snoozing away in her car seat, totally unaware of my panic. It was a cool evening and she was only in there for 5 minutes, tops, but it was an eye-opening and humbling moment. If a brain blip like that could happen to me, it could happen to anyone.

That's the idea behind a new heatstroke prevention PSA from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and the Ad Council called "Never Happens." The message is powerful, as there are so many things we swear we would never do as parents that we end up doing. Some of those things are conscious choices as we realize parenting is far more complex than we thought, but some are a result of being fallible humans with imperfect human brains. The key is recognizing that fact so you don't fall into the trap of "I would never."

Watch:

Pediatric vehicular heatstroke is the leading cause of non-crash, vehicle-related fatalities for children 14 and younger. No parent thinks they could possibly forget their child in a car, but that's how more than half of car heatstroke deaths in children occur. According to the NHTSA, heatstroke statistics can be split into three main scenarios:

- 52.7% of hot car deaths happened because a child was forgotten in a hot car

- 25.8% of deaths happened because a child gained access to an unlocked car and became trapped

- 20.1% of deaths happened because a child was left behind in a vehicle, and the parent/caregiver did not realize how quickly internal car temperatures can rise.

A child's body temperature rises three to five times faster than an adult's, so we can't use ourselves as a gauge of how long is too long to be in an enclosed car.

The inside of a vehicle is never a safe place for a child to play or be left alone, because hot cars can be deadly for children in a matter of minutes," Sophie Shulman, NHTSA’s Deputy Administrator, tells Upworthy. "No one wants to think they could forget their child, but the facts show it can happen to anyone. Our ‘Stop. Look. Lock.’ campaign educates and empowers parents and caregivers to make simple changes to prevent unimaginable tragedies."

Some of those simple changes might include putting your purse or wallet in the back seat, keeping an item like a teddy bear in the backseat and placing it in the front seat whenever you have a child in the car with you. Both of those simple visual cues could be life-saving. And always lock your vehicle after getting everyone out of it so a child can't get in.

Never think it could never happen. Then, take proactive steps to ensure that it never does.

Joy

'90s kid shares the 10 lies that everyone's parent told them

"Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.


Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own.

Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.


“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

Family

Mom claims the biggest 'parenting flex' is having grandparents who are 'voluntarily involved'

Grandparents that are eager to help raise their grandkids are a game-changer.

via Kelsey_p90/TikTok (used with permission) and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

Kelsey shares why it's great to have involved grandparents.

Grandparents are often stereotyped as doting and eager to be a big part of their grandchildren's lives. In movies and TV, we often see parents of child-free women begging them to have kids so they can be grandparents.

However, that’s not always the case. Many grandparents are unable to help raise their grandkids because of their location or health. There are also far too many who aren’t that eager to do the work.

For many parents, the presence of grandparents who actively participate in raising their kids can be a game-changer. The support they provide, whether it’s watching the kids on a Friday night or picking them up from school, can significantly ease the juggling act of modern parenting.


Kelsey, a popular TikTok and Instagram mother of two, recently celebrated the joy of having “voluntarily involved” grandparents, calling them the biggest “parenting flex.” Of course, the subtext of the post is that, unfortunately, many grandparents are uninvolved with their grandchildren’s lives and their families could use their help.

Warning: Strong language.

@kelsey_p90

Top tier 🙌🏻🙌🏻 #fyp #foryourpage #foryou #momtok #mom #moms #momlife #momsbelike #momsoftiktok #sahm #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok #grandma #grandpa #parenting #parentsoftiktok

“Without question, the biggest parenting flex isn’t the mom car, not how much you make a year. It’s not how well-behaved your kids are,” Kelsey starts her video. “Biggest flex is having involved grandparents. Voluntarily involved. Holy f***, having that midday struggle with my children and then getting that text from grandma: ‘Hey, can I pick so and so up for a sleepover tonight?’ Ha ha ha, funny, you should say that! Her bag has been packed. Never unpacked it. She’s ready.”

She noted that “voluntarily involved” grandparents aren’t just doing the bare minimum. They’re stepping up and taking charge of their role in the family.

“Ones that you can text like, ‘Hey, can you fly up this weekend? We need your help.’ ‘Sure, no problem!’ I don’t know what kind of reaction that was. But it came within the depths. Nothing beats it. Nothing beats a grandparent that wants to do more than required to get that yearly Facebook Happy Birthday Grandma post,” Kelsey continued.

Unfortunately, many moms and dads don’t have parents they can rely on to help them raise their kids and it’s a big loss. “A lot of the times, people don’t have help, and I am sorry,” Kelsey said. That f****** blows. We know it’s their loss. We know. Who doesn’t want to be involved with their grandchildren?”

grandparents, grandkids, tiktok

A grandmother looks out the window with her granddaughter.

via Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels

Many commenters shared why raising kids without grandparents is so hard.

"I recently read a quote that said 'uninvolved grandparents never intended to be parents themselves' everything made sense," Isabel Cardenas wrote. "You definitely got that right. That is the biggest flex of all time. There’s not enough money in the world that would take the jealousy I have for people who receive that type of love freely," Katy Alltop added.

Kelsey shared her thoughts on why some grandparents aren’t voluntarily involved with their grandkids.

“I think a lot of times grandparents have the point of view like ‘I did my time, I raised my children, now it’s my time to do whatever I want.’ They don’t want to be tied down with babysitting and other commitments,” she told Upworthy. “Which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing! They deserve a fun retirement. I would never want to force a grandparent (or anyone really) to be a part of my children’s lives. But it is so nice to see so many grandparents who go out of their way to foster relationships with their grandkids and who want to spend quality time with them (not just to give mom and dad a break).”

Joy

Tense video shows two barbers rushing to save little girl from running into traffic

The heroes say they went into "dad mode" and immediately acted.

@obthebarber/Instagram

Some people step into action without a second thought.

When two barbers noticed a young girl racing by their window and into oncoming traffic, they only had seconds to act. And thankfully, they did without hesitation.

Osvaldo Lugo recently posted a harrowing surveillance video to the Instagram account of his Connecticut-based business, the Look Sharp Barbershop, which shows himself and an employee, Rafael Santana, racing out to scoop up a young girl mere seconds away from bolting into oncoming traffic.

Lugo tells ABC7 that he simply went into “dad mode” the minute he spotted the girl in the shop window, who had escaped her mother at a nearby bus stop. Thank goodness he did, and that he and Santana were able to help the girl reunite with her mom, who seemed “confused and shocked but grateful,” per Today.com.

Even knowing this story has a happy ending, viewers found the footage terrifying, and commended the barbers on their bravery and fast action.

“I can’t believe how long I was holding my breath while watching, even knowing that you both were to save her before she ran into the traffic,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Omg this gave me chills! Thank God you guys saw her & most importantly went into action.”

The East Hartford Police Department also praised Santana and Lugo in a Facebook post, which read:

“Heroic Barbers to the Rescue! Today, we want to give a massive shoutout to the quick-thinking and brave duo, Osvaldo Lugo and Rafael Santana of LookSharp Barbershop.Their swift action saved a little toddler who had escaped from his mother and started moving towards traffic on Main Street. Thanks to them, a potential tragedy was averted, and a family remains whole. We’re incredibly grateful for these everyday heroes among us!”

As for Luca and Santana, their actions aren’t considered anything out of the ordinary. As Santana shared with TODAY.com, “We did this out of love and we’d do it a million times again. We protect and serve our community at all costs.”

It’s never a bad time to share stories like these. But right now, they seem more important than ever.