It’s November. The clocks have changed. Moving toward the solstice and “falling back” an hour means it gets dark wicked early. When you Google the sunset time for your city and a 4 or a 5, the reality of this time of year hits.
So dark. So early.
If your next thought is “so sad,” hold up a minute. You’re certainly not alone. But unless you’re dealing with actual, clinical seasonal depression, you might just be doing fall and winter all wrong.
There’s a reason people go ga-ga over pumpkin spice lattes
The joy over pumpkin spice lattes may be the butt of cultural jokes at this point, but there’s an element of the celebration of their return every fall that’s totally healthy. Those who celebrate are engaged in a full, enthusiastic embrace of the season. Fall = pumpkin spice. It’s something definitive to look forward to. It also doesn’t last forever. You have to get it while it lasts.
Even if you don’t like the taste of pumpkin spice, the smell of cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg likely conjures up some fuzzy feelings in you. Apple, pumpkin, warming spices—it’s all part of the cozy nostalgia of fall.
But only if you decide to see it that way.
The point here isn’t pumpkin spice; it’s leaning in and embracing the specific joys of whatever season you’re in. In summer, that’s barbecues, picnics, boating, swimming, sitting out on our porch in the evening. As the weather changes and the days get shorter, those things go away. If you don’t replace them with something else, it’s easy to just be bummed that they’re gone.
How to embrace the darker days, not just tolerate them
Your instinct might be to fight this time of year, looking for an escape to sunnier, warmer climes. Or. you may just grit your way through it, only tolerating it because you have no other choice, just counting the days until the solstice.
You can do that. But believe me when I tell you it’s so much better to surrender to the season. Even better? Celebrate the season for exactly what it is. It’s dark at 5:00 p.m.? So what? It’s not time for fun maxxing outside fun. It’s time for cozy maxxing inside.
“Cozy maxxing” can involve any number of things, including:
- making breads and soups
- lighting candles and putting up fairy lights
- cuddling up under soft, luxurious throw blankets
- drinking tea, cocoa, cider, and other hot drinks
- engaging in slow hobbies like jigsaw puzzles, fiber arts, drawing, etc.
- reading more books, silently or out loud
- watching more movies
- listening to seasonal music
- playing a musical instrument
- having a friend or two over for dinner, games, etc.
- sleep indulgently
Spend time outside, but see it differently
You can even do a lot outside this time of year, just with the right bundle-up gear. Most cozy-maxxing activities are done at home for low or no cost, so maybe there’s room in the budget for a new hat and scarf combo or a long down coat to make outdoor time more tolerable.
Make yourself a mug of tea or hot cocoa and go for a walk whenever you can. Smell the cool, crisp air. Revel in the way nature changes her garb in the fall. Look closely at the details of frost crystals. Slow and deliberate are the watchwords of this season.
The mental health benefits of cozy maxxing
Finding the beauty in the season and celebrating it fully isn’t just a vibe. It’s actually a viable way to help you mentally and emotionally manage lower amounts of sunlight.
The Scandinavian cultural practice of hygge has long been a way to connect and find comfort in the colder, darker months. Think of cozy maxxing like hygge on steroids. It’s a maximalist approach to warmth, comfort, and calm.
Psychiatrist Justin Nepa says that cozy maxxing can provide some much-needed burnout prevention. Making your home into a space that gives you permission to just be rather than having to be productive creates what Nepa calls an “environmental antipsychotic.” It can also help regulate our nervous system.
“Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety — a process called neuroception,” Nepa writes. “When we curate a space with predictable lighting, warmth, and soft textures, we signal to the ANS to down-regulate from a ‘fight-or-flight’ state into a ventral vagal state — the zone of rest, digest, and social engagement.”
So while darker days might feel different than the long, bright days of summer, they don’t have to be a downer. Lean into it. Embrace the coziness. Celebrate the season, and see how different it feels.
