Talking to one another is one of the most basic things we do, and yet human communication is actually pretty weird when you think about it. We can't speak to everyone because none of us knows every one of the world's thousands of languages. We can say the exact same words but change their meaning simply by changing our tone of voice. Some people are avid, smooth conversationalists, and others are so anxious about social interactions that we need therapy to help us get through them.
Human conversation is complicated, no doubt. But oddly, there are some rules we all adhere to when we talk to one another that most of us aren't even aware of. These rules make conversations make sense and allow us to understand inferred or implied meanings, but we follow them so subconsciously that we probably don't recognize that we're doing it.
We follow Grice's Maxims without realizing it most of the time.Photo credit: Canva
These "rules" are known as Grice's Maxims, named for linguist and philosopher Paul Grice, who detailed these rules. Under the umbrella of the Cooperative Principle—meaning our shared understanding that conversation is meant to be a cooperative endeavor in which we strive to communicate effectively—Grice explained four maxims we all follow:
1. QUANTITY (be informative)
The quantity maxim leads us to be as informative as possible while not giving more detail than is needed.
2. QUALITY (be truthful)
The quality maxim means we tell the truth by default, not providing information that's false or lacking evidence.
3. RELATION (be relevant)
The relation maxim compels us to say things that are pertinent or related to the conversation.
4. MANNER (be clear)
The manner maxim means being brief and orderly in what we say, avoiding obscurity or ambiguity.
Tom Scott explains Grice's Maxims and gives examples of how they help us understand one another.
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For example, we use the term "vegan burgers" but not "vegan tomatoes" because "vegan" is not a necessary descriptor for tomatoes, which everyone knows are always vegan. That's Grice's first maxim of Quantity—give as much information as is required, but no more. Breaking this rule sounds strange.
We can see Grice's Maxims at work in the simple exchange in which one person says, "I'm out of petrol," and the other person says, "There's a garage down the street."
"Without context, just using the super literal, logical meaning of those sentences, there's no connection there," Scott explains. "Those are just two factual statements. But if you assume I'm trying to follow the cooperative principle, then you can automatically work out a lot more."
A brief conversation about running out of gas illustrates Grice's Maxims.Photo credit: Canva
For instance, the relation maxim leads us to the conclusion that the garage probably has petrol. The quantity maxim means that "there's a garage down the street" is all you need to say to imply that you can push your car down the street, buy gas, and solve the problem of being on empty (a problem which was also implied in the first sentence, as Scott points out). The quality maxim assumes that both statements are true, and due to the manner maxim, we can assume that "garage" is just a dialectical term for a gas station.
Then Scott explained that the maxims can be violated or flouted. Violating a maxim is basically just lying and trying to deceive, but flouting these maxims can be done to say something without really saying it. He gave the example of a recommendation letter that is too brief and not informative enough, which implies that the person writing it has nothing to really recommend about the person.
What's fun about Grice's Maxims is the comedy that happens when the cooperative principle is not assumed and statements or questions are taken literally. Think of all the literal quips from "Airplane" or "The Naked Gun."
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People in the comments shared examples of exchanges that are taken literally instead of understanding the implied meaning, and it's hilarious.
"I'm out of petrol"
"That's good, it probably wasn't safe to be in it."
"Would you like something to drink?"
"What are my options?"
"Yes and no."
"Coffee or tea?"
"Coffee"
"Wrong, it's tea."
"I'm seeing stars."
"Did you see a doctor?"
"No, just stars."
"Hello, my name is Kevin without 'M'."
"But there is no 'M' in Kevin."
"That's what I said."
"What is your main flaw?"
"I correctly interpret the semantics of the questions, but I ignore their essence."
"Could you give an example?
"I could."
Some people pointed out that learning about these maxims could help neurodivergent people have easier conversations. Even though Scott says they aren't meant to be prescriptive, "do this" kinds of rules, knowing that they are inherent in social exchanges, is an important piece of the effective communication puzzle.
Isn't being human just fascinating?
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We follow Grice's Maxims without realizing it most of the time.
A brief conversation about running out of gas illustrates Grice's Maxims.
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