She Takes Everything You Think You Know About Her Sex Life And Shuts. It. Down.

Eric March Curator:

I gotta say, there are some pretty ridiculous myths about bisexuality out there. So it's pretty satisfying to see them busted completely apart like this. I should warn you: Some of these are pretty facepalm-worthy. I mean, the one at 9:40 ... just ... no. No.

Transcript:
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Scarlet: Hello. For those of you who don't know, my name is Scarlet Saint and I'm bisexual. For as long as I can remember, feeling sexual attraction has been towards both genders. I'm not a dead set for a threesome. I've never had a sexually transmitted disease. I have a long term boyfriend but that doesn't mean that I'm no longer bisexual. I'm not confused and I don't fancy everyone I see.

So this video is on bisexuality as you may have guessed. [laughs] But more specifically I want to address some of the myths. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous and kind of funny. Oh no, I need to sneeze.

As funny as I may find some of these myths, I have first hand experience of being very frustrated and sometimes hurt by people who believe that and have said it to my face. So let's start off by talking about what bisexuality is.

Bisexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction or behavior towards people of both genders. Basically, to make it even simpler, I am a girl and I find both men and women sexually attractive and would consider relationships with both genders.

A report suggests that bisexuality is more common in women than men and that's not to say that bisexuality occurs more often in women than men. Even the researcher's themselves suggested possibly just women feel more comfortable talking about it or reporting it or accepting it.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you all that society is much more forgiving and accepting of girl-girl relationships. Now something you'll probably hear quite a lot is what about pansexuality? Isn't that just the same thing? No.

Pansexuals often refers to themselves as gender blind. They're attracted to both sexes as well as people that identify as transgender or intersex or any other label. I have to say that me, identifying as bisexual doesn't mean I'm saying ew I could never be attracted to someone that's transgender. I know that I have some kind of pansexuality in me.

A great example is um, a picture of Norman Reedus who is um, Daryl from "The Walking Dead". I can't remember looking at him and going ooh until I saw this picture of him on Tumblr where I think he had like makeup on. I think he had a dress on and I was actually really, really attracted to that. So I know that I have pansexual tendencies. I just, personally it's not something that I've ever sat down and fretted over.

I'm going, "maybe I'm not bisexual. Maybe I am pansexual. Maybe I should change my label". I don't feel that pressure to conform into one group or another and I'm happy to just float through life and see who I find attractive and who I don't.

Now the fun part. Myth number one. Bisexuals are just indecisive and or confused. Now most people do go through that time in their young life when they start to sort of think about and question their sexuality more and they start to really sort of think about what they want in a partner or just in someone they want to bone.

Now you may very well experiment with different sexes during this phase but afterwards you may come out of it realizing actually I think I'm straight. And if you do fair enough. Fine. Good for you.

When you're gay I think maybe you're scared of anger or being rejected when you come out. Uh, when you're bisexual just from my own experience and from speaking to other people, uh, it's a lot more common to be met with just denial. With just you're going through a phase or no you're not. Or what you're gay really? Or, you know, it's really, really hurtful because it can take a lot for someone to decide I'm going to, you know, inform my friends and family of this.

I want to be open with them and then to be met with a "no, you're wrong about your sexuality. I know what you are and what you're not". It's just, it's hurtful understandably and it's silly so please no one ever do that. Not that I think you would. You guys are cool but you know.

I'm 21 now and I'm still bisexual and I realized that I had feelings for girls when I was around 12 maybe. I'm not lying. I'm not faking it. [laughs] You know. I'm bisexual. Get over it.

Myth number two. Bisexuals are just greedy whores that love threesomes. I've had quite a few men take a shine to men and then I found out later on down the line that they just thought that I'd be happy to give them a threesome. That was pretty crap. I have no problem with people having threesomes. I have no problem with any consensual, sexual act that floateth your boateth if you wanna do it. I don't care.

Personally, I don't really want a threesome. I couldn't. Probably actually be quite possessive which isn't a good thing but it's a part of me that I acknowledge that I can be really possessive sometimes. So the thought of sharing someone that I love with someone else is not something that I'm keen on.

That isn't to say however that I've only sex with people that I love. I've had sex outside of love. Outside of relationships and it was fine. It didn't scar me for life. It hasn't left me, uh, feeling guilty and dirty. However that still doesn't mean that I'm a dead sir for anything.

Myth number three. If you're bisexual you can't be faithful to one person. I met Alex about two years ago now and we're still very happy together. I've never cheated although I would say that wouldn't I? But no I've never cheated. [laughs] Some bisexuals cheat. Some bisexuals have consensual open relationships. But guess what? So do some straight people. So do some people with blonde hair. So do some people with brown hair.

Being bisexual does not mean that you will only ever be satisfied if you can have relationships with both men and women at the same time. Some people do. But by the same token, some straight people have relationships where there's five men and one woman and their happy with that so. It. [sigh] You know what I mean right?

Myth number four. If you're in a relationship with someone that means you're no longer bisexual. Uh, you've either chosen. You're straight or gay. I hear this one so often and it's so silly and it's really annoying. I've been in a happy, committed relationship with a man slash penis for over two years now. I have toucheth no vagina in that time. But guess what? I'm still bi.

This all comes back to the idea that bisexuals are undecided or confused and that one day they'll choose if they're straight or gay but it's just not true. There are people out there that say things like, "well, aren't they worried that you're going to go cheat with a woman?" Well, no. I mean is your boyfriend worried that you're going to go cheat with a man? It's no different. It's absolutely no different.

I may still appreciate women's beauty and think ooh, you know, if we'd met when I was single. Mmm. But I'm going to choose not to act on that and not cheat on him because I love him and I want to just be with him forever. It's not that difficult to understand.

Myth number five. Bisexuals are much more likely to carry sexually transmitted diseases or infections. Uh no. I know people personally who think this. People that say this kind of thing are people who usually people that just make assumptions from ignorance. [scoffs] I reckon if a girl touch a penis and a vagina, she probably gonna get disease.

I think that's the extent of the thought process to be honest. It's not what sexuality someone is that makes them more or less likely to carry disease. It's what a person does. It's how well they protect themselves when they're doing it. It's how well educated they are on the subject.

Education plays a huge part in it. Research done in America showed that the states with the highest rates of teenage pregnancy and STDs were states that took an abstinence only view towards sex education. Biology happens. No matter what you believe, no matter what your view is towards sex, you're going to have the same urges. The only difference is gonna be how you react to it. How you deal with it. How safe you are.

So rather unsurprisingly, people that are more open about sex, people that have a much more laid back view are less likely to become pregnant in their teens and less likely to contract STDs.

I just want to add something that I forgot to mention while I was filming that but I think that's it's quite important and interesting that I mention it. So while it's true that there are more gay men versus straight men living with AIDs, um, a study done in 2009 which I think was done in America. Sorry I don't have it right here. I'm just remembering from reading this.

This study done in 2009 showed that um the group most likely to contract AIDs was actually uh straight women of color and they were specific in their um ethnic group but I don't wanna just guess because I don't want to be wrong. But I remember specifically reading that. I think that most people remember reading that because it challenges would you would normally think and assume which is always a good thing.

Myth number six. You're not bisexual unless you've had some kind of sexual contact with someone of the same sex as you. Said sex a lot of times there. Sex, sex, sex. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but I knew I was bisexual long before I put that into action.

Despite my frustration which I've talked about with women in bars who are just sort of drunk and they think it impresses guys. Some of them are bisexual. Some of them may be experimenting. Some of them maybe don't know yet. And it's it's really none of my business. The only reason that I get frustrated about it or used to get frustrated about it was because it can be very hard to know who you are allowed to hit on or not. [laughs]

Despite what some stupid people who may say you don't have to have sex with someone in order to officially prove your sexual orientation. Your sexual orientation is just that--it's yours--and no one can dictate it to you. Some people can explore their sexuality with both genders but still don't identify as bisexual and that's absolutely fine. Listen to your mind. Listen to your body and you'll know what makes you happy.

The last myth, myth number seven is that bisexuals fancy everyone. Alright, well for a start, don't flatter yourself alright? My female friends know they don't have to worry about me trying to sneak into their knickers when I sleep over. They can get drunk with me without worrying about me coming onto them.

I'm sure most straight people have lots of friends of the opposite sex but you don't constantly want to sleep with all of them. Well I mean maybe you do but [laughs] but I don't assume that of you.

I don't see a straight girl hanging out with a few straight guys and think, she definitely wants to have sex with all of them. You whore. Maybe they're just her friends. Maybe she does want to have sex with them but I can't judge that just purely based on the fact that she's straight.

Now I hate to have to bring this one up but I know there are some people out there that say things like, "do you fancy your own mum?" Do you fancy your dad? No!

Now I can't speak for every bisexual person. There will be some out there that bloody love threesomes. There will be some out there that may come on to straight friends of theirs. The problem is the assumption that all bisexual people will do these things or do want these things or do act this way because it's just not true. And assumptions, as harmless as they can seem, aren't because people will take that and judge and treat people accordingly.

You know that is all and I really hope you enjoyed this video. Um, if there's a moral to the story, um, it's one that all those myths aren't true or if they are they certainly don't apply to everyone that is bisexual. And also don't look at sexuality in that you just have a list and you just have to pick and tick one of the boxes. It's a very personal thing. Finding, accepting, and understanding your sexuality. So just take your time and be happy and I will speak to you again soon. Bye.

There may be small errors in this transcript.
About:

Original by Scarlet Saint. Here she is on Facebook. And Twitter. And YouTube. And Tumblr. Also, please check out BiNet and the Bisexual Resource Center for all your bisexuality advocacy and education needs.

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