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Whose idea was it to eat that? The strange ways 11 everyday foods were discovered.

Whose idea was it to let milk go bad and then eat it?

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining
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Many of our favorite everyday foods have extremely strange origins.

Have you ever stopped to think why we eat the things we eat? Some of it seems natural, of course, like an apple growing from a tree. At some point in history, someone picked one, took a bite, and realized it was delicious.

Hunting and eating animals is similar. It's part of our DNA, even if you choose not to partake, and you can easily trace the path from early hunter-gatherers to packaged chicken nuggets.

But at some point, humans started getting really creative. We picked coffee cherries, removed the seeds, and brewed them into a dark and bitter drink–why?! We smushed up grapes and let them sit around for a while and then drank their juices. We decided to try consuming cow's milk that had gone really, really sour.

Whose ideas was it to try these things? Fascinatingly, many of our favorite foods, even the things we eat everyday, were the result of necessity or pure accidents. Here are some of the weirdest yet most interesting food origin stories.

1. Cheese & Yogurt


food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Cheese is essentially just spoiled milk! Photo by David Foodphototasty on Unsplash

We know that cheese and yogurt both come from milk, often cow's milk. We also know that milk goes bad extremely quickly and disgustingly. So how did we bridge that gap and come to discover these two amazing foods?

According to the National Historic Cheesemaking Center Museum (in Wisconsin; where else?) cheesemaking dates back thousands of years to Greek mythology and the ancient Egyptians. It's said that milk was often stored in containers made from the stomachs of animals. The only downside of stomach containers is that they contained an enzyme called rennet that triggers coagulation in the milk, allowing it to separate into curds and whey.

Those Greeks and Egyptians must have been mighty surprised when the curds, in particular, turned out to be absolutely delicious. The BBC writes, however, that this accidental process was probably first discovered in the Middle East and Central Asia.

2. Wine

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining It must have been fun to discover old grapes turned into wine. Photo by Lefteris kallergis on Unsplash

Today, the winemaking process is pretty complex, so much so that some people consider it an art. Or, at the very least, a craft of the highest order.

I've always been curious how we ever came up with the idea that we could get drunk off of grapes, long before the days of perfectly pruned vines and aged-oak barrels. Turns out, the story is not that dissimilar to the origins of cheesemaking, except it goes back even further. Humanity's natural desire for a good party is apparently one of our most ancient traditions!

Early humans would forage large quantities of fruit like grapes and berries. The ones at the bottom, naturally, would get smushed and likely not be eaten for a while. They would have time to ferment, creating an alcohol-like substance, that must have been pretty pleasurable for anyone willing to go digging around at the bottom of the fruit pile.

Beer has a similar origin story, only instead of fruit, it was grains for bread that were left out too long and began to ferment.

3. Coffee

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Coffee fruit was making the goats a little too happy. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Coffee is definitely one of the weirder things that we consume. The coffee beans we're used to seeing do not appear exposed in the wild—they're actually tucked away inside something called a coffee cherry. Each cherry contains two seeds, or coffee beans.

The story goes that an Ethiopian goat herder in the year 850 (give or take) noticed that whenever his goats ate the cherries, they would become energetic, playful, and just plain happier. Kaldi, the herder, is credited with being one of the first to forage the cherries. At first, the leaves were used to make tea, and then the berries were eaten directly to get the happy-energy effects. It wasn't until a few centuries later that the beans were made into a beverage for the first time.

4. Tikka Masala

I absolutely love getting Indian food whenever possible and, like a lot of Americans, I adore Chicken Tikka Masala. But I never knew that it was created out of necessity as recently as the 1970s.

The widely accepted legend has it that a Glasgow chef named Ali Ahmed Aslam served a customer some chicken tikka one night and found the patron to be very hard to please. The man insisted that the chicken was too dry. So Aslam scoured the kitchen and whipped up a special sauce made of yogurt and tomato, which helped keep the chicken moist.

Pretty quickly, chicken tikka masala became famous across the globe. The Bristorian writes, "it is widely represented as the quintessential Indian dish despite its origin in the United Kingdom."

5. Tomatoes

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Tomatoes were thought to be poisonous until very recently. Photo by Huzeyfe Turan on Unsplash

It doesn't seem surprising at first that most cultures around the world regularly eat tomatoes, with a few exceptions. They grow in the ground and look beautiful. It's not shocking that someone bit into one at some point in history and decided we should all get to enjoy them.

But what is surprising is that, in the Western world at least, tomatoes didn't catch on for a long time. Even in Italy, which is practically synonymous with the tomato, Italians didn't really eat them widely until the 19th century. That's because tomatoes were long thought to be poisonous, a member of the nightshade family which contains many toxic plants.

One story claims that a man named Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson ate tomato after tomato in front of a crowd in New Jersey to prove to the world they were safe. It's probably not a true story, but it's fun to imagine.

6. Tea

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Tea is one of civilization's most ancient drinks. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Tea, like coffee, seems odd when you really think about it. Boiling dried up leaves and herbs in water? Whose bright idea was that?

It turns out, it was an Emperor's idea! Tea is truly one of the most ancient beverages, and legend has it that Chinese emperor Shen Nung accidentally discovered the delectable drink in 2737 BC. He was supposedly sitting under a tree while his servant boiled him some drinking water, a common practice at the time. Some leaves are said to have fallen in from the Camellia sinensis tree, which gave the brew a pleasant aroma.

Shen Nung tasted it and was impressed, while also finding that it made him feel great. Tea was initially considered medicinal and didn't become a daily drink until much later.

7. French fries

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Fried potatoes began as a replacement for fried fish. Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

Despite the name, French fries are said to have initially been discovered in Belgium.

In the 1600s, villagers near one of the country's rivers would catch fish to try. Fried fish was an incredibly popular treat, but in the winter months, the river would freeze and catching fish would become impossible.

Out of necessity, they tried cutting up potatoes into a similar shape and frying those, instead. The result was delicious! When American soldiers came through the area during World War I, word spread quickly for obvious reasons.

8. Potato chips

The accidental invention of potato chips is a direct offshoot of French fries, so it deserves a spot on this list.

Some 250 years after the invention of fries, the story goes that a chef named George Crum had another difficult customer on his hands. (Seeing a pattern here?) The man was unhappy that his French fries were too soggy and thick.

Smithsonian Magazine writes, "Furious with such a fussy eater, Crum sliced some potatoes as slenderly as he could, fried them to a crisp and sent them out to Vanderbilt as a prank. Rather than take the gesture as an insult, Vanderbilt was overjoyed."

They were called Saratoga Chips at first, a reference to their birthplace of Saratoga, New York. Experts say the potato chip may have officially been invented before this famous showdown, but George Crum undoubtedly helped popularize the snack.

9. Popsicles

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining An 11-year-old accidentally invented popsicles. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

The official Popsicle brand itself says the frozen treat was invented by an 11-year-old boy in 1905.

Frank Epperson allegedly left a cup of soda, complete with a stick for stirring, outside on a cold night and was chagrinned to later find it frozen. However, one lick and he was convinced—frozen meant delicious! Young Frank named the treat after himself: "The Episcle."

An entrepreneurial little bugger, Epperson perfected the popsicle and began selling them around local beaches before patenting the pops in 1924.

10. Cheetos/cheese puffs/cheese curls

food, food history, origins of food, history, funny, fun facts, eating, culture, nutrition, taste, dining Cheetos and cheese puffs have a fascinating accidental origin. Photo by Ryan Quintal on Unsplash

I've always been curious about cheese curls, which are one of my all-time favorite snacks. What even is a cheese puff? The potato chip, though unique, makes sense: It's a deep fried, thin slice of potato. Cheetos and cheese curls are just so far from anything found in nature it boggles the mind how they might have been invented.

Well, boggle no more! In 1935, cheese puffs were accidentally invented in a factory that made animal feed. Corn was ground in a grinder to make the feed, but when it came time to clean the machine, the workers fed moist corn through. The resulting waste product was airy, puffy blobs of corn that would fall to the ground.

A worker named Edward Wilson decided to try some and found them utterly delicious, and thus named them Korn Kurls.

11. Worcestershire sauce

I love a good happy accident almost as much as I love Worcestershire sauce on my burgers and steaks. Luckily, this story has both.

In 1835, drug store owners John Lea and William Perrins were asked to recreate a sauce a local baron had tried during a visit to India. Their creation was an utter failure, smelling horribly and tasting worse. So they hid the batch they created in the basement and forgot about it for nearly two years.

According to Great British Chefs, "When they rediscovered it, it had aged well, turning into the fermented, umami-packed sauce we use today."

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service

A German man explains why smiling at strangers in public is weird in Germany

Americans have such an interesting reputation internationally, but one that seems to give our nationality away in Germany is our habit of smiling. That's not to say that Germans don't smile because of course they do! But they don't smile while passing strangers on the street or use it as a social nicety.

Some may consider the constant smiling that many Americans do as fake or disingenuous because it's not part of their cultural norms. Dominik, a German man who runs the YouTube channel Get Germanized, explains that Americans may be taken aback by the lack of smiling by German citizens in public settings.


In America, it's considered polite to smile when greeting people or even when entering a place of business while passing another customer. It's a social norm that signals to the other person that you're acknowledging them. Sometimes this can be followed by a good morning or a thank you if the person in question held the door. There are places in the country where this is not as prevalent, but even in large cities where everyone seems to be in a rush, smiling still seems to be an understood custom.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling girl chatting outdoors with a friend.Photo credit: Canva

Cultures vary from state to state, so it's no surprise that German social niceties are different than those in the U.S., Dominik explains, "Smiling is social lubricant everywhere else. [In] Many cultures, especially English-speaking ones, smiling is a social default. You smile at strangers. You smile to soften social interactions. You smile even when you don't mean it. It's a universal, friendly, 'I'm harmless' gesture. In Germany, that's suspicious. People will think, 'Why is this person smiling at me?'"

He goes on to share that the German smile is rare because it is only used when they're familiar with the person and are genuinely happy or amused. According to Dominik, a German offering up smiles to random people could "feel fake, intrusive, or overly familiar." It can also be seen as nervousness, insecurity, or manipulation. Germans don't smile to soothe the discomfort of themselves or others. Instead, their faces remain neutral until they experience an emotion that would elicit change.

"German communication is built on honesty. Not just in words, their body language too. If they're tired, you'll see it. If they're annoyed, you'll feel it. If they're happy, they'll show it, but only when they actually are. No forced cheerfulness. No plastic service smile. No, 'How are you? Fine,' dance. It's refreshing once you get used to it. Like taking off a mask you didn't know was there," Dominik says.

The no-smiling cultural norm extends to the service industry in Germany. Customer service employees are there to solve the customer's problems, not to be entertaining. Dominik explains that Germans trust professionals who look focused while working. Even on public transportation, no smiling is going on between commuters; people mind their own business. They're not unfriendly, they're respecting your space." Dominik shares.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling warmly in a cozy sweater, feeling relaxed and happy.Photo credit: Canva

The German culture enthusiast assures viewers that Germans smile a lot, but it's reserved for friends, families, and cute puppies. They also smile at people they like, so it's not that Germans think Americans are strange for smiling; their cultural norms are just different.

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.


"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.


Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

Friendship

Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive

"It's such a simple and effective way to show love..."

friendships, hangouts, friends, organizers, adult friendships, how to stay friends,
Photo credit: Canva, alvarog1970 from alvarostock (main image) / anlomaja (text box)

People think this post-hangout question can be a friendship game-changer.

It's not always easy to maintain close friendships as an adult. Everyone's busy and to some degree exhausted, and free time is scarce. So how do we maximize our friend time? And how do we reach out without looking too pushy? A regular person offered a suggestion: asking one thoughtful post-hangout question that's made their friendships "so much stronger."

It's pretty simple: "When's the next time I'll see you?"


Here's their logic: "You're showing enthusiasm for seeing your friend again, reassuring them you had a good time, and planning the next time you'll see each other all in one go," they wrote on Reddit. "Obviously this requires the friend to reciprocate, but it's such a simple and effective way to show love that has had consistent, lasting effects on my friendships. I don't typically say this to new friends; it's for people that I'm confident I want consistently in my life."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Their trending post earned hundreds of replies, as people weighed in with their perspectives.

One person appeared to echo the OP's sentiment, talking about the importance of having a "chooser" in friendships—someone who will take on the role of making plans. "'Be a chooser' is the best advice I ever received," they wrote. "People want to hang out, but very few want to make the decision to hang out and organize it. Be the chooser…people will follow."

In reply, someone added, "I'm the planner and the calendar friend. For a long time, I took it so personal that no one else really planned things. But actually, people appreciate this. If they didn't, they'd make excuses to not hang out or would just say no instead of enthusiastically agree."

Here are more interesting comments, including some with a different perspective:

"This works because it removes guesswork"

"I have a group of girlfriends from college that get together every month for brunch, and most of them are also in a book club with me. At the end of each hang, whether it's brunch or book club, we get our calendars out and plan the next one. Occasionally we skip a month if there's a ton of conflicts, and not every person makes every single hang, but they happen very regularly and have been happening regularly for about 2 1/2 years now. We're all late 30s-mid 40s with careers and (in their cases,) spouses and families. 10/10 everyone should do this!"

"It rules that this works for you! I have to say, if someone asks me this, unless we're super duper bestest friends I'm just gonna say, 'hopefully soon- let's talk!" and not much will change. Seeing friends is more of a time issue than a desire issue IMO. Even if we want to plan things, we're busy a lot."

friendship, happiness, adult friendships, staying close with friends, friendship dynamics Two friends hugging. Photo credit: Canva, mododeolhar from Pexels

"I see the usefulness of this, but also I think this would low-key give me a panic attack if I just got done hanging out with someone and they wanted to plan the next one. I'm fully prepared to believe this is a 'me' thing"

"Agree with you in spirit but phrasing it that way puts a lot of pressure on them to figure out a date in advance, and some people don't like to plan far in advance."

"Instead I usually go with something like 'what's our next thing?' Easier for another person to figure out what something is than when on the spot"

"I love this because it shows intention without being clingy. So many friendships fade just because no one makes the next step explicit. This feels simple, warm, and very human."

"If this isn't your speed, you can also text them the next day. This works well for anxious people because it also sends them an affirmation/aftercare if they are worried about the hangout."

"This works because it removes guesswork. Clear interest plus a next step keeps friendships from fading by accident."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Focus on the reception"

While some people felt the question could come off as pushy, the OP clarified their stance with a few key points: they don't ask it every time they see someone, particularly people they see often, and they always make sure to read the room. They continued, "You do NOT do this after an exhausting event, or with people who do not like planning. Sometimes it's a conversation opener; others it's a time to pull out the calendar. This works well for busy people who also like consistent quality time. If that is not you, that's okay."

While every friend dynamic is unique, it's natural to feel like you're constantly initiating hangout plans.

Friendship coach Danielle Jackson explored this idea in a 2021 YouTube video, explaining that there are three key things you can do if you feel like the "giver" in a relationship: give the other person the "opportunity to initiate," reframe how you view their contributions, and "focus on the reception" rather than the initiative. "At the end of the day," Jackson says, "it's less about who's asking and more about who's saying yes."

- YouTube www.youtube.com