People share what it was really like being raised by parents of the ‘Greatest Generation’

“Very hardworking. Very stoic.”

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Photo credit: Images via CanvaArray

Every generation is influenced by their parents. From Baby Boomers (who were largely raised by the Silent Generation) to Gen X (the majority of which were raised by Baby Boomers) to Millennials (raised older Gen X and younger Boomers), their parents left an impact that defined each one. For those raised by the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their unique upbringings are filled with experiences that are still cherished generations later.

Over on Reddit in a subforum of people born before 1980, member gameboy90 posed the question: “What was it like having a parent who was part of the Greatest Generation (born 1901-1927)?”

Many people raised with parents (and some grandparents) from the Greatest Generation shared their childhood experiences. These are 15 amazing stories from people raised by parents of the Greatest Generation.

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“My folks were born in the late teens/mid-twenties. They met and married during WWII. As a kid growing up in the 1970s, I joked that I was the last kid to be raised in the 1950s, because that’s the decade where my parents were really adults and absorbed a lot of their ideas. Neither of them liked to talk much about the past, there wasn’t any talk of the depression or the war, but I was told how easy I had it on a fairly regular basis. I was taught to be grateful and how lucky I was. They were fairly distant parents — I was cared for, but not hovered over in any way. I was regularly kicked out of the house to go entertain myself until the streetlights came on.” —localgyro

“One of my parents was part of this cohort and the other parent was just a couple of months too young to technically belong to the Greatest Generation. I heard endless stories about what childhood was like during The Great Depression and the notion of not wasting things was pounded into me. I was taught to not trust the stock market and to not count your chickens before they are hatched. Do people even use that expression anymore?! Both of my parents felt it was important to look one’s best in public at all times. I remember my mother wore girdles long after it was fashionable to do so and my father wore undershirts in the hottest of weather.” —Woodinvillian

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“My grandparents were greatest generation. Very hardworking. Very stoic. Super secretive. While they weren’t racist, they were prone to using slang like Wop (gpa was Italian) etc. My gma left school in 8th grade to help on the family farm. Gpa made it thru High School and didn’t go to war due to helping the family ice business. Back in the day, they cut ice from the ponds w huge saws and packed it away in sawdust or straw. His brothers went to war though.” —apurrfectplace

“I’m not sure you can generalize about a cohort that includes so many millions of people. My parents were born in 24 and 26 and I was born in 52. My father spent WWII In Europe and never would talk much about his experience. My father was a teacher, high school principal and then a college professor. My mother stayed home and raised my brother and I. My parents were hardworking, honest, decent people. They were also progressive, liberal and intellectual and participated in the civil rights marches of the 1960s and later supported my brother and I in our opposition to the Vietnam war.” —valisglans

“Both parents were born in the time frame you gave. We are American, and my grandparents were immigrants from Eastern Europe. My father was a WWII infantryman and Purple Heart recipient. He almost never talked about the war, although he did recount his experiences to another family member who was doing a living history project. My Dad apparently lived through some awful times when he served overseas during the war. My mother came from a well to do family, and she never mentioned weathering much hardship during the Great Depression… During these days of Covid-19, I am reminded of my late father’s frugality (which he learned during the Great Depression). I am reminding myself how he never let anything go to waste, and how he would repurpose items around the house, rather than get rid of them if they were at all useful. My parents weren’t hoarders or anything like that (quite the opposite), but they did use items up until they could be used no more. I used to roll my eyes at my dear Dad over that at times, but now of course I see the wisdom in it. My grandparents were all born in the last quarter of the 1800s, and lived through the 1918 pandemic. I wish they were still able to answer my questions about how they survived it, or at least I wish my parents were able to answer my questions regarding my grandparents’ recollections of it.” —Hey_Laaady

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“My parents were born in the teens of 1900’s. Both to poor, but educated families. Music, art, that sort of thing, that generally pays poorly in good times. But during the depression? Not much at all. Like others in this thread, we were taught to use up everything, don’t waste anything. Food was made into leftovers. Clothing was repaired, and passed down from child to child. If we wanted to get rid of something, give it to someone who could use it. Don’t leave the lights on. Don’t waste water. We also had a vegetable garden, and we kids helped weed it. We snapped and froze beans from it for the winter. We played outside all day in the summer, and came in for supper. Had to be home when the street lights came on. Dad had war stories about WWII which he told often, but never about fighting, but rather about his commanding officer, or something weird that happened. I’m pretty sure he had PTSD, but you bucked up and got on with life. My parents were both really good people. My mother raised us, and my dad ‘brought home the bacon’.” —sanna43

“Awesome. They loved each other deeply. They loved their siblings, parents, aunts and uncles who we all regularly visited. Mom and Dad were good parents who provided us with love and a good home. Maddening. They were soooooo much older than my friend’s parents, still clung to Depression-era frugality, wanted us kids to be independent but NOT IN TROUBLE.” —Sunkitteh

“They were the finest people I’ve ever met: selfless, loving, devoted to family. There will never be another generation like them.” —Offthepoint

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“Dad worked a blue collar job and mom was a homemaker. There was always dinner at the dining room table every night. My dad made $85 a week and that was enough to keep a roof over our head and our tummies full. Mom (born 1922) stretched the ground round by putting grated potatoes in it. I don’t really remember going without very often. I only remember a pair of shoes I really wanted in the early 70’s that we couldn’t afford…My dad was born in 1921 and was the strong silent type. Never spoke much nor showed much affection but we knew he loved us. They never fought. I never remember them fighting or hearing them yelling at each other. If there was anything they didn’t want us to know they would talk to each other in Spanish. They never taught us girls because we ‘didn’t need to speak it’. I sure wish they had taught us. Back then it was more about assimilation.” —AuntChilada

“Since my folks grew up during the depression, the thriftiness they learned was passed on to us kids. Even in the city, we had a vegetable garden in the 1960s, as well as several fruit bearing trees…We were raised with more discipline than some of our classmates, but less than others. We took responsibility for our actions at early ages and were seen as trouble makers because we didn’t deny it when caught red handed.” —Swiggy1957

“Lots of great war stories. Lots of lies. Lots of racist beliefs (how come people never mention how racist old people can be?). Generous but highly critical. Intelligent and accomplished. High expectations with little guidance or input. Dad was born in 1913.” —aiandi

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“My dad (born 1905 in Buffalo, NY) and my mom (born 1909 in St. Louis, MO) were both children of Polish immigrant parents. My mom graduated from elementary school, but my dad was pulled out of school during his last half of 8th grade so he could go to work at Kutchens Furniture Co. in St. Louis as a woodworker so he could support the family (his dad had died a year earlier). My mom got a job as a seamstress at a clothing company where she worked until she got married. in 1925 my dad obtained employment at Robertson Aircraft Co. at the airport as a mechanic for the air mail airplanes. He became good friends with Charles Lindbergh when Lindbergh was still an air mail pilot. In 1926 he started building his own airplane in his backyard. In 1929, when the stock marked crashed, his airplane was nearly complete. But he had to put a hold on it in order to work crazy hours at Robertson to continue his employment. He and his mother, brother and sister all lived in one house and they raised chickens, rabbits and a vegetable garden in the back yard. Home brewed beer was made along with a concoction of straight grain alcohol colored with tea that they called ‘Old Skunk’. The airplane was flown in 1930 but the depression went on, and on and on. Nothing was thrown away since there was always another use for everything. My mom and dad finally met and got married in 1937. A year later I was born and now there were 6 people living in a small 2 bedroom 1 bath house. In 1941 the United States entered the war. My dad was too young for the first world war and too old for the second world war, so he obtained employment with Curtiss-Wright Aircraft Corp. as a loftsman for the wing of the C-46 ‘Commando’ transport aircraft. He remained at Curtiss-Wright until the end of the war. Once married, my mom became the traditional housewife. During my early years we lived like it was still the depression and it was pounded into me on a daily basis. The only good thing that happened during the war years was dad got extra gas ration stamps because he was working in the defense industry. My mom had a foot operated Singer sewing machine that she used for the rest of her life. My dad didn’t buy a powered lawn mower – he made one using the motor from a junked motor scooter he found in the junk yard. At dinner time you ate everything on your plate – period! To this day it has been engrained in me – take what you want, but eat what you take. Yes, the Greatest Generation raised a whole different breed of children. When I was growing up, if I needed a whack on my butt I got a whack on my butt. Maybe two whacks! And my teachers could do it too. If the teachers did that today it would be on the 5 o’clock news.” —55pilot

“My parents were born in the 1920’s. My father was drafted in 1944. He waited out the war in the Philippines. He didn’t say much about it. Only that he saw awful things and war is really, really bad. After the war he worked for USPS and met my mother. They moved to NJ and raised 6 kids on a working class salary. My parents were both strict Catholics. It wasn’t a very demonstrative relationship. They put a roof over our heads and fed us so we needed to STFU and clean our rooms. My mother was kinder; my father was distant and withdrawn. There was a huge generation gap. They adored clean-cut American entertainment: broadway musicals, Johnny Mathis, Perry Como, etc. Meanwhile, us 60’s and 70’s kids were all about Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. It caused tension. Once we became teens, us boys all grew our hair long. The folks HATED it, but they allowed it because we made a big deal over it and it was the trend at the time. My parents never drank and never used foul language. Cursing was forbidden in the house. Even ‘damn’ was retconned to ‘darn’. Period. No exceptions. Discussions about sex (or indulging in any measure of explicit material) was also utterly forbidden.” —CitizenTed

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“My father was born in 26. My mother is a bit too young to meet this criteria. But they were both frugal people. My mother was a bit more sympathetic about it. ‘Do you need it, or do you just want it?’ My father was more dismissive, in a half joking, half mocking manner: ‘you need that like you need a hole in the head’, ‘I wouldn’t kick a dead dog for a truckload of (whatever it was I wanted)’, alternatively he ‘wouldn’t sign his name for a boatload’. If I wanted to see a movie or a concert, he ‘wouldn’t walk from here to the corner (to see them, even) if they paid him.’ At least he was amusing. Last week, he told me about something that would ‘hare lip Santa Claus’, and I still don’t know what that means…My father grew up on a farm. As a boy, he plowed with a mule, and used a carved cypress knee to make holes for the seeds. The old plow was still in storage when I was growing up, and was always more fun for me to climb on and play than the old tractors were. My father says that at school, instead of each kid bringing their own lunch, each person would bring something to add to a pot of soup. I don’t know if that was everyday, though. My grandmother had a large garden and also did home baking and canning to sell at the farmer’s market. The better stuff always got sold. One of my aunts said they never got any cookies that hadn’t burnt. My father served at the tail end of WW2, in the Pacific.” —MetalSeagull

“My parents married after the second world war. My mother had been engaged and her fiancé was killed overseas. They were pretty old for their generation to be getting married. Born in 1919 and 1918 they married in 1950. Being good Catholics they then started having babies. My mother lost four of the pregnancies late term and had four babies eventually. I was born when she was 40 and my younger brother when she was 47 because of the pregnancies and recovery from them. My mother became a teacher and my dad was a draftsman. They never had a mortgage, paid cash for their cars and ALWAYS had a ton of tinned food. If I wanted a ham and cheese sandwich my mother would say no because that was two meals. Ham sandwich and a cheese sandwich. I don’t think either of them ever missed a day of work for anything less than a heart attack. Seriously. They just got up every morning and did what the rules said they should do. My dad was an enormously talented man with an incredible intellect and my mother was artistic and romantic. I feel that with the war, service and losses they never got the chance to experience self expression like they may have wanted to. Duty to God and family. They both died young at 61 and 67.” —Rosiebelleann

  • Empty nesters share their genius, and surprisingly touching, downsizing hack
    Empty nest season comes with a lot of decisions about what to keep.
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    Empty nesters share their genius, and surprisingly touching, downsizing hack

    “All I have to do is look in the eyes of my two girls, and they take me back, every time, to the most beautiful, colorful, emotional scrapbook I could ever dream of having.”

    The decades parents spent raising children are full, rich, exciting, exhausting, and loud. From babies crying to siblings bickering to the raucous laughter that creates collective memories, the sounds of family life are constant. Your home is full. The laundry never ends. Food gets purchased in bulk.

    Then, one day, you find that the intense family life that took up so much space physically, mentally, and emotionally, dwindles to a strange silence. When the last child moves out, you find yourself swimming in a house full of unused rooms and piles of memories. Suddenly, you don’t need all that space anymore, and you have to figure out what to do with those rooms and those piles of memories.

    For one couple, the process of downsizing their empty nest brought about a reflection on their family life, their relationship with their kids, and their stuff. In 2021, Jimmy Dunne shared that reflection entitled “Downsizing” on Facebook in a viral post that resonated with many people who are at or near this stage in life.

    Here is what he wrote, in his own words

    “My wife Catherine and I recently moved.

    I realized I had something I never knew I had.

    Thirty-four years ago, I carried my wife in my arms over the threshold in our home. Thirty-four years ago. From newlywed days, to witnessing our babies go from little girls to young adults. So many great memories in every inch of every room of our home.

    I didn’t think I was ready to ‘downsize.’ What an awful word. I liked walking through our girls’ bedrooms and still seeing their stuff on the walls and on the shelves. I liked our backyard. I liked imagining our kids coming down the steps every Christmas morning.

    We put it on the market, it sold in a couple days, and suddenly agreements thicker than my leg were instructing me to clear everything I ever had and knew – out.

    Every night I found myself saying goodbye to our backyard, to our garden of roses that Catherine would till and trim, to the sidewalk where the girls drove their Barbie cars and learned to ride their bikes, to our front lawn where we hosted tons of talent shows with all the kids on the block, and the red swing on the front porch.

    We found a condo in town and started lining up our ducks of what we were keeping, and what we were tossing. We vowed, if we’re going to do this, we weren’t putting anything in storage.

    I literally threw out half my stuff. Half. Half of the furniture. Half of my clothes, books. And the big one… way more than half the boxes in the attic.

    The attic was more than an attic. It held our stories. Every thing in every box, every framed picture was a story. After we gave away almost all of the living room furniture, we split the room in half and brought down everything of the girls from the attic and from their rooms. We invited the girls over, handed them a cocktail and said, “There’s good news and bad news. We’ve saved all this stuff; your outfits, drawings, dolls, skates — for you. It’s now yours. The bad news, whatever’s not gone by Friday at 10 in the morning, it’s getting chucked in that giant green dumpster in front of the house.

    The girls thought we were Mr. and Mrs. Satan. But they went through it, and that Friday, most of it went out the front door and right in the dumpster.

    I filled the entire dining room with boxes of all my old stuff. Grade school stories and pictures, report cards, birthday cards, trophies, you name it. Boxes of old plaques and diplomas and just stuff and stuff and stuff like that. How could I throw any of this out? I may as well have been throwing me in the dumpster!

    But this little jerk on my shoulder kept asking — what are your kids going to do with all this a week after you’re six feet under? They’re gonna chuck it all out!

    Here’s the crazy thing. The more I threw stuff in there, the easier it got. And I started to kind of like throwing it up and over in that thing. I started to feel lighter. Better.

    And we moved in a half-the-size condo – and the oddest thing happened.

    It became our home.

    A picture here and there on the wall, Catherine’s favorite pieces of furniture, all her knickknacks in the bathroom. We blinked, and it looked and felt just like us.

    And then I found that thing I never knew I had.

    Enough.

    I had enough.

    The wild thing was that having less – actually opened the door to so much more. More in my personal life. More in my career. More in everything.

    All I have to do is look in the eyes of my two girls — and they take me back, every time, to the most beautiful, colorful, emotional scrapbook I could ever dream of having.

    All I have to do is hold my wife’s hand, and it hypnotizes me back to kissing her for the first time, falling in love with everything she did, seeing her in that hospital room holding our first baby for the first time.

    It sure seems there is so much more to see, and feel, and be — if I have the courage, if I have the will to shape a life that’s just…

    Enough.”

    You can also read Dunne’s reflection on his website.

    Why this post resonated with so many people

    People shared Dunne’s post more than 24,000 times, and it’s easy to see why. He’s speaking a truth we probably all know deep down on some level: Things don’t make a life. Things don’t make relationships. They don’t even make memories, though we tend to hold onto them as if they do. We may associate places and things with memories, but we don’t need the places and things for our memories to live on.

    It’s not hard to notice Dunne’s deep wisdom as the result of a life well-lived. Fortunately for readers everywhere, Dunne compiled his wisdom, including the viral “Downsizing,” into a book that was released in September 2024 by Savio Republic and Post Hill Press, titled Jimmy Dunne Says: 47 Short Stories That Are Sure to Make You Laugh, Cry—and Think. Like his Facebook post, Dunne’s book is filled with heartfelt, thought-provoking reflections that stand to teach readers valuable and relatable lessons. It even got an endorsement from none other than actor Henry Winkler.

    The empty nest years can be whatever you want

    Kudos to Dunne and his wife for looking ahead to what their children would have to go through after they pass if they didn’t go through it now themselves. And kudos to them for truly embracing the freedom that comes with having raised your children to adulthood. The empty nest years can be whatever you choose to make of them, and this couple has figured out a key to making the most of theirs.

    Keep up with the Dunnes on their Instagram, where they share more writing, wisdom, family moments, and sweetest of all, their grandbabies.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

  • Newlywed couple has their families compete to see who takes their partner’s last name
    Photo credit: CanvaNewlywed couple flips the script on last names by having their families compete

    A woman taking her husband’s last name is no longer a given. Couples have been mixing things up for a while now, but one couple decided to turn old and new norms on their heads. Instead of the new husband and wife arguing over why one of them should relinquish their surname, they decided to let the “best family” win.

    Women have been expected to give up their family’s last name for their husband’s for hundreds of years. This goes back to when women were considered property transferred from a father to a husband. While the thought of women being considered property stopped with women’s rights movements, the tradition of adopting a husband’s surname persists today.

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    Bride and groom
    Photo Credit: Canva

    Why women changed surnames

    The practice originated in 14th-century England and was part of “coverture,” which transferred nearly all of a woman’s assets to her new husband, according to Cambridge University. Taking the husband’s last name wasn’t required, but it was widely practiced and spread to other Western countries. In recent years, women have been choosing to hyphenate or retain their birth surname. But one cheeky couple decided to throw all the norms out of the window in favor of a more inclusive process that involved everyone.

    Brett Borland and Gorgie Abela recently tied the knot in front of their loved ones. When the time came for reception activities, Borland got on the mic to announce that their families would be competing in a “Battle of the Surname.”

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    Guests at an outside wedding
    Photo Credit: Canva

    Battle of the Surname

    “What we’ve decided is that neither one of our names is going to disappear,” Borland says. “So what we’re going to do is that we’ve organized some games where we’re going to battle the families out against each other, and the winning family, we will be taking the last name of them.”

    That’s right. If Abela’s family wins, then she keeps her name and Borland changes his, and vice versa. In the video uploaded to Instagram, the families (still dressed in their formal attire), played tug of war, potato sack races, and more. By the end of the activities, the scorekeeper announces the couple’s new last name–Mr. and Mrs. Borland.

    It seemed that the Borland family had a ringer. While everyone was playing in sock feet and fancy clothes, one participant was sporting sneakers, shorts, and a t-shirt. Some could argue that it gave them an advantage, though it was only beneficial in the game of tug-of-war, not the booty-shaking ping-pong balls out of a tissue box game.

    Viewers of the unique surname wedding competition were thoroughly amused, with one saying, “This should’ve been televised.”

    One person takes notes, “When dressing for a wedding, pick dress that I could play field games in. GOT IT!”

    wedding, surnames, last names, battle of the surname
    People playing tug of war outside
    Photo Credit: Canva

    Another quips, “Imagine losing your last name bc your cousins got too day drunk to win field day games.”

    “Planning this while knowing they’d all be in wedding attire is diabolical,” someone else notes.

    “This is actually the best thing we’ve ever seen at a wedding reception ever,” one wedding attendant says.

    Someone else writes, “The modern human version of natural selection, only the (last name) of the strong will survive.”

    One person jokes, “Imagine having your wifes last name because your sister wore a skirt and couldnt potato sack right lol.”

  • Daughter surprises her dad with ‘prized possession’ he sold 30 years ago to help the family
    Photo credit: @lindseyswagmom/TikTok This daughter knew exactly what to get her dad for Secret Santa

    Many people dream of somehow being able to repay their parents for the sacrifices made for them during childhood. Whether that’s something physical, like paying off their mortgage, or simply being the best version of ourselves to make them absolutely proud. For Lindsey Moore, it was finding a “prized possession” her dad once gave up to help the family, and returning it to him once again. Moore still vividly remembers being only seven years old when she saw her father walk into a comic book store to sell a Dan Marino rookie football card from his first season with the Miami Dolphins.

    In a TikTok that went absolutely viral in 2023, Moore’s father is seen reliving this memory as he holds onto a Christmas bag and a family member reads a card out loud.

    “Money was tight, so you were selling your most prized possession, at least I viewed it as that,” Moore wrote. “I felt your sacrifice and it taught me that I would do whatever necessary to ensure my future family never needed anything. It was a lesson that has stuck with me since that moment.”

    She made herself a promise that day

    It was also the moment she became “determined” to pay her father back. More than thirty years later, she has drawn her father’s name for Secret Santa. It was the perfect opportunity to fulfill that promise.

    “I will never be able to fully repay that debt,” her note continued. “Seven-year-old me would be so elated to see that I finally fulfilled that promise I made to myself. Thank you for everything.”

    As he listened, Moore’s dad began tearing up. Sure enough, he opened his gift to see it was the cherished card he sold all those years ago.

    The video concludes as Moore and her father enjoy a warm embrace.

     

    For those wondering about the card’s value: a 1984 Topps Dan Marino rookie card in mint condition can fetch as much as $30,000. The sweet exchange certainly struck a chord online.

    The internet completely lost it

    The sweet exchange certainly struck a chord online.

    “When he started crying I LOST IT,” one person wrote.

    Another added, “Something about bringing a grown man to tears always gets me.”

    A few parents shared their own stories of sacrificing prized possessions:

    “As someone who has sold his prized Gretzky rookie to provide for his kids, I appreciate and respect this a lot,” commented one person.

    “Just had to sell my signature MacKinnon jersey to pay bills. Sucked so much but kid comes first,” echoed another.

    On the flip side, some shared their one experience of getting to repay their parents. One wrote:

    “I got to do this for my mom last year. She won a [Dolce & Gabbana] purse one year at work and sold it to buy my prom dress and never thought twice. She never [got] name brand anything. So this year I took her to get her very first name brand fancy hand bag or her picking, my treat.”

    But perhaps the best comment belonged to this person, who astutely pointed out: “The card wasn’t the real gift to him. It was hearing his impact on you. Priceless.”

    Moore shared another video showing a close up of the Christmas card for viewers to read, as well as the prized football card in question.

    There are so many ways to say thank you

    We might not all get to reclaim what our parents sacrificed, and that’s okay. There are so many ways to share just how much of a positive impact they made on our lives. Even saying how much we appreciate them can be an invaluable reward. When all is said and done, letting our parents know how much they mean to us and how much their sacrifices matter to us is the best gift of all.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Mother with Alzheimer’s who lost her speech harmonizes with daughter in beautiful videos
    Photo credit: Ester Wiesnerova, CanvaEster and her mother Marina sing in the car.
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    Mother with Alzheimer’s who lost her speech harmonizes with daughter in beautiful videos

    “Music is how I communicate with my mom these days. I’ve never been more grateful for it.”

    Like for many of us, having connected moments with her mother are timeless and special for musician Ester Wiesnerova. She’s incredibly vulnerable about her mom (whose real name is Maria but is mostly referred to as Marina) and her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The disease moves bit by bit, fading her memory and ability to find words. But in a silver-lined twist, Wiesnerova found that she and mother are still able to bond through music.

    In clips making the rounds on social media, Wiesnerova shares moments where she is able to harmonize with her mom through various songs. At the top of one of her videos, she notes, “The power of music is incredible.” One look at these clips, and it’s clear that’s true.

    In an Instagram Reel posted on Mother’s Day, we see the pair joyfully singing in a car. The chyron across the clip reads, “Alzheimer’s took her words. But she still sings a full chorus – by heart in her second language in harmony with me.” As they lean in, each with sunglasses atop their heads, they smile while crooning “Guantanamera” in Spanish. (The song, with lyrics by Cuban poet José Martí, is a patriotic folk tune celebrating the “people.”)

    Wiesnerova comments, “Music is how I communicate with my mom these days. I’ve never been more grateful for it.” So many in the comment section agree, with one even claiming, “This is the most beautiful video ever.” Another notes how Marina seems lit up by the music: “Her eyes are sparkling.”

    In a second Instagram clip marked “Part 2,” Wiesnerova ups the ante. The chyron reads, “Alzheimer’s took my mom’s words. But she still sings. In harmony. In a foreign language.” This time the two sing the traditional Hebrew song “Hava Nagila.” She writes, “I’m starting a song. Will she join in?”

    After just a few seconds, a text pops up on the video: “It worked! Wait to hear her sing gorgeous harmonies. So nice to hear her voice again.” She then asks Marina if “she wants to harmonize.” Indeed, she does. Wiesnerova gives her mother the starting pitch, and once again, pure glee spreads across both of their faces. She writes, “Finding a way to connect with her and smile means so much.”

    Neuropsychology researchers continue to find the special link between dementia and music. In a piece posted to the Northwestern Medicine site, they quote neurologist Borna Bonakdarpour, MD, who they state “combines his love of music with research on how musical intervention affects the brain of people with dementia.”

    Bonakdarpour shares, “When we use musical intervention, we’re looking for areas and networks in the brain that are intact to serve as bridges and help the areas that are not working well. Singing, for example, can be a bridge to communicating better through language. The rhythmic nature of music can help people walk better.”

    This can be equally beneficial for caregivers and family members. He states, “People with Alzheimer’s may come alive again when they hear music. Some start dancing alone or with their caregivers, which is a very big deal. Caregivers find the person lost to them in the context of music.”

    Anna Maria Matziorinis and Stefan Koelsch of the Department of Biological and Medical Psychology, University of Bergen in Bergen, Norway, co-authored a 2022 study entitled, “The Promise of Music Therapy for Alzheimer’s Disease.” In it, they also note how important music can be for these patients, writing, “Musical memory is partially spared in patients with AD, despite severe deficits in episodic (and partly semantic) memory. AD patients can learn new songs, encode novel verbal information, and react emotionally to music.”

    Upworthy had the chance to chat with Wiesnerova about the lovely bond she maintains with her mom. She shares that it was in early 2023 when she got her diagnosis. “Singing and playing the piano together is something that was always very natural for us—that’s what we did together. She was a piano teacher and songwriter her whole life, I’m a singer and composer. When she got diagnosed, we just kept doing what we always did together. First she would play and I would sing.”

    music therapy, music, Ester Wiesnerova, Marina Wiesnerova
    Marina Wiesnerova and sunflowers. Photo Credit: Ester Wiesnerova

    She explained that even as Marina’s ability to speak was fading, she still maintains the power of music. “Even as her capacity to speak and understand language was going down, her musical abilities very much stayed. She even responds to verbal cues as long as they’re music-related. Like if I say, sing quieter, articulate more, or harmonize with me, she usually does it. But then if I ask her where she is right now or what my name is, she doesn’t respond. It’s fascinating.”

    As for their relationship, they’ve always been close. “My whole life we’ve been very close—true best friends. We shared everything. She was also the only person in my family who encouraged my music career. Slowly losing her to the illness has been very difficult, as I was slowly adjusting to this new version of her and learning to love who she is now. And learning to find my ground when the person who grounded me is slowly disappearing. I am writing an album about this process to be released next year.”

  • Man’s raw truth about why he hasn’t gotten over his mom’s death hits home: ‘I don’t want to.’
    Photo credit: CanvaA man lying in bed in a state of grief.

    Losing a loved one is arguably one of the hardest human experiences, but also one of the most universal. Few of us will go through life untouched by grief, but some losses hit harder than others, even when we know they are coming. For instance, most people expect their parents will die before they do, but that doesn’t make the loss any easier when it happens.

    One man’s raw embrace of grief after losing his mother is resonating with people everywhere.

    “You said you’re a middle-aged man who hasn’t gotten over the loss of his mother,” Steven Bartlett, host of The Diary of a CEO podcast, said to guest Scott Galloway, a New York University marketing professor. “Is there a way to?”

    “I don’t want to,” replied Galloway, wiping away his tears.

    Grief isn’t a bug, but a feature

    “I think the receipts for love is grief,” Galloway said. “I hope my boys feel the same way about me. It hasn’t gotten in the way of my life. It makes me be more bold with my emotions. I used to see it as a problem. I went to grief counseling. Now I see it not as a bug, but as a feature. And so what I would tell every young person is I hope they have a lot of joy in their life. I also hope they have a decent amount of grief, because that means they have people they love immensely.”

    “You can never tell your parents how much you love them too much,” he continued. “Forgive them, and…my mom died slowly, which was bad for her, but it was good for me because nothing went unsaid. I miss my mom terribly. I’m a middle-aged man who hasn’t gotten over the death of his mother. Light of my life. Raised me on her own. Secretary’s salary. Gave me confidence. Everything.”

    Do we really need to “get past” the loss of a loved one?

    Galloway’s honesty about not wanting to get over his mom’s death hit home for a lot of people. So often, grief gets treated as a problem to fix, rather than an integral part of the human experience. Counseling can help when grief interferes with someone’s daily life, of course. But the idea that we need to “get over” or “get past” the loss of a loved one doesn’t make sense for a lot of people, as evidenced by the Instagram comments:

    “Profound grief has not hindered my life. I welcome the tears. Heart forever broken but still beating.”

    “My mom passed away 10 years ago and the pain can be unbearable. This is a beautiful way to frame this as ‘Receipts for love is Grief’ 🥹 I needed to hear this 🙏🏾 Thanks for sharing Scott.”

    “Lost my mum 3 years ago and miss her everyday – the reason the way I am is because of her and I can never thank her enough – single mother warrior queen. ❤️”

    “Exactly what I say when people tell me I need to get over losing my mom 🥹❤️ thank you.”

    grief, loss, grave
    Grief can last a lifetime. Photo credit: Canva

    “I’ve never ever gotten over my mother passing nor will I ever and I am pleased to watch this video as I know I’m not alone. 💔”

    “We need more of this type of conversation – BE BOLD WITH YOUR EMOTIONS! ♥️ People run away and hide from grief, pain and the uncomfortable – grief really is the receipts for LOVE ❤️ Grief doesn’t need fixing, just honour 🤍”

    “I wonder at what point did humanity veer so off course that we started seeing grief as a problem. Thank you for this conversation! Grief is here because love was here first! ❤️”

    “Grief is healthy. And we’re not supposed to ‘get over’ the loss of loved ones, in my opinion, we learn to love them and honor them differently.”

    “This is exactly how I feel about my dad. What a beautiful way of looking at grief.”

    Grief is evidence of love, and in Galloway’s case, the evidence clearly speaks for itself. What a beautiful tribute to his mother and a relatable approach to processing a profound loss.

  • Mom draws all over her toilet to teach her kids a lesson on cleanliness
    Photo credit: via Canva and Tod PerryA confused child and a toilet with artwork.
    ,

    Mom draws all over her toilet to teach her kids a lesson on cleanliness

    It may seem a little odd, but it’s pretty brilliant.

    Teaching kids how to clean up after themselves is one of the hardest things to do as a parent…mainly because it’s difficult to make taking out the trash or washing the dishes exciting.

    Jayne Ann Osborne, the creator behind MommingonPurpose, deserves love from parents everywhere because she took an incredibly icky chore, cleaning the toilet, and turned it into an activity her kids enjoyed. “Ready to teach your kids how to level up their toilet cleaning skills? You’re just a dry-erase marker game away!” Osborne opens her video.

    To teach her kids how to clean the toilet, Osborne first disinfected it herself, so her young kids wouldn’t be exposed to any germs. Then, she drew all over it with a dry-erase marker that wipes off easily with a wet rag. She told her kids that all the marks on the toilet were germs and that they all had to be wiped away. 

    Mom has a fun way of teaching her kids to clean the toilet

    “By scrubbing the dry-erase marker off, they are learning all the nooks and crannies of the toilet in a way that is fun, challenging, and memorable. Without the ick,” she captions the video.

    The dry-erase marker game works well because it teaches multiple lessons. Firstly, there are many hidden spots on a toilet that need cleaning and may not be noticed at first glance. Secondly, a toilet should be thoroughly cleaned because germs have many places to hide. After the job was complete, she gave her kids a prize depending on how well they wiped away all the evil germs.

    germs, bacteria, cleanliness, disease, microscopic bacteria
    Microscopic bacteria. Credit: TrueCreatives/Canva

    Be careful when drawing on the lid

    Osborne does have a big note for everyone who tries this at home: “Keep a little isopropyl alcohol handy in case the dry-erase marker scribbles leave anything behind.”

    Editor’s note: I tried this on my own toilet, and it took a little soap and water to get the dry-erase marker off the plastic toilet lid. It doesn’t wipe down as easily as porcelain. 

    toilet, gloves, cleaning backroom, cleanser, antibacterial cleanser
    Someone cleaning a toilet. Credit: PixelShot/Canva

    Shifrah Combiths, a writer at Apartment Therapy, tried the toilet game and made sure her children understood the importance of cleaning the entire bowl. “The kids were exuberant about wiping off the marker, and we had to make sure they didn’t scrub the toilet tank lid too hard. My husband was worried it might crack! I also let them discover and wipe down all the marker lines as they found them, but I made sure after they were done, to explain to them that when cleaning a dirty toilet for real, it’s very important to start with the cleanest areas on the toilet and then work their way to the dirtiest. Of course, this only teaches them about the outside and lid of the toilet and not the bowl, but it’s still a useful lesson,” Combiths wrote.

    Combiths also had a little difficulty getting the marker off the toilet lid. “The marker wiped perfectly clean from the porcelain surfaces of the toilet, but left marks behind on the plastic lid. Osborne recommends using isopropyl alcohol if this happens, and a Magic Eraser got most of it off in our case,” she wrote.

    Osborne’s toilet-cleaning hack is a great way to teach kids how to clean one of the dirtiest and trickiest parts of the house, but she also has a great lesson for parents. With a little creativity and a sense of humor, just about anything can be made to be fun, even cleaning the toilet.

  • Millennial mom is stunned when grandma compares parenting in the 80s to now
    "My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."
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    Millennial mom is stunned when grandma compares parenting in the 80s to now

    Taylor Wolfe couldn’t believe her mom slept soundly without any kind of baby monitor.

    Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be, and probably are, doing it all very, very wrong.

    What’s especially fascinating is that our data and best-practices have gotten so much better over time. Parents in the 80s had no idea that crib bumpers were dangerous, just like their parents didn’t know that using whiskey as a sleep aid probably wasn’t the best idea! We know better, and yet, we’re burdened by the overwhelming amount of knowledge and potential dangers around us.

    Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, nails this conundrum perfectly as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

    The conversation that hit a collective nerve

    In a clip posted on TikTok, Wolfe and her mom sit side by side on the couch and have a fascinating discussion.

    First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

    “What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

    “Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it’s healthy!”

    “I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

    …Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

    “I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says. Wolfe asked her mom how she slept without a baby monitor and knowing for certain, at every instant, that she was safe? “We just slept” her mom deadpanned.

    Her mom’s answers are something else entirely

    Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

    “If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

    Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

    Without missing a beat, Wolfe’s mother says, “It’s summer, I still have you.”

    Cue the tears!

    Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure on parents.

    From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

    Parents today are feeling it too

    That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

    “Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

    Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom.”

    “it’s almost like all the technology, and it’s advertising, leads to so much unnecessary anxiety” someone added.

    Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

    It’s no wonder that parents’ mental health is, collectively, in the toilet. We’re more stressed today about money, work-life balance, getting into good schools, signing up for activities that gobble up all our time… everything.

    So what can modern parents actually do?

    Experts say there are ways parents can manage the stresses of modern life, though. Reducing phone and social media use, for starters, is a good way to avoid ruminating on all the potential dangers of the world. Parents are also challenged to push themselves out of their comfort zone by allowing their child more freedom and independence than they’d normally be comfortable with. For example, letting your kids walk to school or go buy something from a store without your help.

    I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Mom shares 19  gems of knowledge for her daughter’s 19th birthday
    Photo credit: CanvaA young woman blows out her birthday candles, left, and a birthday cake, right.

    A woman who uses the Instagram handle Hope with Holly often makes videos in which she imparts wisdom from her own experiences. She’s candid in her discussions about feminism, marriage, divorce, finding courage, and much more. So when her daughter turned 19, it seemed like the perfect time to share 19 pieces of advice for a better life.

    In a Reel dedicated to her daughter, she lays it all out with precision and love. Casually putting her hair in a ponytail while slicing a watermelon—and later placing strawberries on a white-frosted birthday cake—she looks straight into the camera and declares, “This is what all women should know by the time they turn 19.”

    1. You are not here to be chosen. You are here to choose.
      “And if you build your life around being picked, then you will tolerate things that you should walk away from.”

    2. Your ability to earn money will determine your freedom.
      “Love matters. But money determines if you can leave if it turns unhealthy.”

    3. Attraction is not a sign of safety.
      “Your nervous system can be drawn to chaos. It’s not a sign of safety. Know the difference.”

    4. A man’s potential is irrelevant. His patterns are everything.
      “Only patterns matter. Patterns are who he is.”

    5. Chemistry can lie. Character doesn’t.
      “Butterflies are often anxiety. And peace often feels like boredom. But it’s what lasts.”

    6. If he can’t regulate his emotions, he will regulate them through you.
      “That means control, blame, withdrawal, anger, or defensiveness. Don’t let that happen.”

    7. You cannot love someone into being healthy.
      “Love does not fix trauma. Only therapy, accountability, and effort do.”

    8. Marriage will not fix a relationship.
      “It will amplify whatever’s there, whether it’s good or bad.”

    9. Children will expose a relationship, not save it.
      “They do not bring you closer. They just expose what’s already broken…or strong.”

    10. Your standards will cost you relationships—and that’s the point.

    11. Loneliness is not an emergency.
      “Rushing to fill it is how you end up in the wrong life.”

    12. A man who wants you will pursue you with clarity.
      “If you feel confused about him, that’s your answer. Walk away.”

    13. Sex is not a currency for love.
      “Instead, it’s the byproduct of a healthy relationship—and an emotionally safe relationship.”

    14. Your body will change. Your value does not.
      “Anyone who ties your worth to your youth is not a safe person.”

    15. Pay attention to how he handles the word “no.”
      “That will tell you everything you need to know about him.”

    16. You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.
      “Boundaries are not words. They’re decisions. Enforce them.”

    17. Healing is your responsibility.
      “What happened to you was not your fault. But what you allow to continue is your responsibility.”

    18. Build a life that you do not need to escape from.
      “Then choose a partner who enhances it.”

    19. You are allowed to want more.
      “More respect. More peace. Settling is not maturity. It’s just fear dressed up as acceptance.”

    She adds, “Now I don’t need you to be perfect, girl. But I do need you to be powerful enough to walk away from anything that’s not perfect for you. Happy birthday, honey!”

    The comment section is filled with support, especially from people who say they wish they’d learned these lessons earlier.

    “I can only imagine how different my life would have looked had I heard this narrative by 19. Learning all this by 39. Better late than never. Thanks, mama.”

    Some are also highly focused on her decorating and baking skills: “Now let me watch this again but this time without getting highly distracted by all the layers of that awesome fruit tower.”

    And one 19-year-old was especially grateful, writing, “I turned 19 two months ago, seeing every woman wishing they heard these when they were younger, I would like thank you so much that you reached me in the right time 🙂 Happy birthday to your daughter and wishing your family the best 💛”


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