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What would it sound like if men got the lame advice we give to working moms?

What would it sound like if men got the lame advice we give to working moms?

This article originally appeared on October 22, 2015


Listen up, ladies. Y'all just don't know how hard it is to be a working dad these days.

We're expected to do it all. Raise the little ones, pay the bills, look "sexy," be assertive in our career (but not too assertive), and somehow get it all done in time to have dinner on the table for the wife and kids.

Wait. That doesn't sound right.

GIF from "Family Matters."

Real talk: Being a parent of any gender is really hard, but it's the moms who get all the extra pressure and all the horrible advice that goes along with it.

Seriously, go Google "tips for working moms," start reading, and try not to break something. There's oodles of advice out there for everything, from how to stay organized, to how to make time for your avocado-filled beauty routine, to how to set proper boundaries at work.

Most of it is well-meaning and all, but you can't help but wonder, what would it look like if we tried to give this same kind of advice to working dads?

Hmm...

A hilarious parody Twitter account recently began skewering this kind of misguided advice for moms, and it's a must-follow.

The tweeter known as @manwhohasitall began tweeting in August and has shared over 3,200 delightful nuggets of wisdom since then. (Working dads sure do need a lot of help!)

In his or her own words, the author (who wanted to remain anonymous ... and in character, at that) told Upworthy, "I offer supportive lifestyle advice for the frazzled working dad juggling housework, kids, job, 'me time' and truly great skin."

It's got something for everyone, including cleverly disguised thoughts on the unbelievably low standards we set for dads who "help" with the kids...


Why we feel that women somehow need permission to have confidence...


Some fantastic advice on how to spend our precious "me time" (the author prefers to spend theirs "in a candlelit bubble bath with a full glass of water and maybe an almond")...


And plenty more. Just enjoy these for a moment:






"I'll be honest with you," the author told Upworthy. "It's tough being a working dad. There's so much pressure to look good, keep a perfect house, and stay hydrated."

Once you've recovered from rolling on the floor laughing, you don't have to look too hard to see the underlying point here.

Go check out the rest of these amazing "tips." And when you're done with that, be sure to reward yourself with some much needed "me time."

I'll be spending mine scrubbing the floor, exfoliating, and chanting self-affirmations.

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Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

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Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Expert says there's only one laundry cycle you ever need, no matter what's being washed

Straight from Patric Richardson, the "Laundry Guy" himself.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

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Pop Culture

'American Idol' contestant performs epic rockstar cover of 'Somebody That I Used To Know'

This takes you straight back to 90s emo in the best way.

American Idol/Youtube

Gotta love singers who make songs their own.

In a sea of extremely talented singers, it’s the vocalists who can take a song (even those performed by one-of-a-kind artists) and truly make it their own that, time after time, seem to really stand out on “American Idol.”

And Sam Kelly-Cohen, aka Kayko, is no exception. The 23-year old Florida singer-songwriter wowed judges and made it to the Top 10 round with his pop punk cover of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know”…which is guaranteed to transport you right back to the days of emo bands and heavy eyeliner.

From beginning to end, Kayko gave rockstar energy—complete with mic swings, energetic kicks, and jumping up and down to hype up the audience. These bits of flair apparently came with risks, as he voiced concerns to celebrity guest mentor Meghan Trainor about pitch issues with live performances.

But clearly the effort paid off because for a moment, it felt like audiences were watching a “My Chemical Romance” Concert, rather than a singing competition show.

As one viewer on Youtube put it, “He’s extremely creative in his performance as well as is resourceful, utilizing the entire stage, lights, wardrobe, etc. His stage presence and ability to entertain his audience and keep them entertained through the entire song is also very strong.”

Watch:

Wow! Kayko Covers Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" - American Idol 2024

And to think , this guy never really intended to audition. Kayko originally arrived to Nashivlle for first-round auditions to play piano for his friend, who was auditioning for the show. But the judges asked him to audition as well. And, well, here we are, watching him rock out to Gotye.

Gotye’s smash hit seems to be having a bit of a resurgence. Only a few months ago, the song found viral fame again after international dance troupe CDK gave it a surreal, Wes Anderson-esque reimagining. Perhaps the song’s intentional simplicity, which helped make it so alluring in the first place, is also the key ingredient that makes it easy to interpret in countless different ways.

While Wouter "Wally" De Backer, aka Gotye himself, didn’t love the fame that came with the success of his song (read more on that here) hopefully seeing how it has inspired other artists is a good consolation.

And if the covers are anything like Kayko’s, keep ‘em comin’!

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Nicole Kidman shares the unconventional marriage rule she has with husband Keith Urban

They've had this communication rule since the very beginning of their 18 year relationship.

Wikipedia

Keith Urban (left) Nicole Kidman (right)

Long before Nicole Kidman began her long-term relationship with AMC theaters, she was committed to husband and country singer Keith Urban. The two have happily been together since 2006—which is a good run for any modern day marriage, but most certainly a Hollywood one.

And perhaps their nearly decades-long success can be partially attributed to one surprising communication rule: no texting.

While appearing on the Something To Talk About podcast in 2023, Kidman shared that she was the one who initiated the unconventional agreement.

"We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way – I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me…"I wasn't really a texter.,” the “Moulin Rouge” actress shared.

She added that while Urban did attempt texting her a few items early on, he eventually switched when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. And now, 18 years later, they only call each other.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say. We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don’t text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times…I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she told Parade

.

There are, of course, some pros and cons to calling over texting. Research has shown that people who call feelmore connected to one another vs. texting, with the voice being an integral component of bonding. As our society becomes increasingly more distant and lonely, finding those moments might be more important than ever.

At the same time, calling can invoke a lot more anxiety compared to texting, which could lead someone to not communicating at all. Also, I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to call my partner for mundane things like “don’t forget the eggs” would drive me crazy.

But regardless of whether or not you adopt Kidman and Urban’s no-texting rule, perhaps the bigger takeaway is that relationship longevity depends on being able to establish your own rules. One that feels good and that each partner is able to stick to. Especially when it comes to communication.

As Urban himself told E! News at the CMT Music Awards, "I have no advice for anybody,You guys figure out whatever works for you…We're figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody's different. There's no one size fits all."

Luckily, there are many ways to have good text hygiene, without having to do away with it completely. Very Well Mind suggests to avoid texting too many questions, and to be respectful of your partner's schedule (probably best to not text them while they’re sleeping just to say “hey,” for example). Nor should texting be used to argue or deal with conflict. Lastly, probably save the lengthy, in-depth conversations for a phone call. Fifteen heart emojis are totally fine though.

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35 Shakespearean insults to take down your enemies and crack up your friends

Nobody beefs like The Bard.

Public domain (attributed to John Taylor)

Even 460 years later, Shakespeare's insults are zingers.

As history's most famous poet and playwright, William Shakespeare had a way with words. His sonnets have been memorized and recited by innumerable students—"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"—and his comedies and tragedies have been adapted and performed on stage and film countless times in the 460 years since his passing.

But one place Shakespeare's talent shines the most—or at least entertains the most—is in his insults. The colorful characters he created frequently throw verbal barbs across the stage at one another, and they're still epic zingers, even today.

Insults take many styles and forms, from friendly ribbing to subtle jabs to roundabout roasts to direct hits, and Shakespeare utilized them all. And the beauty of playing with The Bard's insults in the modern day is that you can use them to confound people you have a beef with as well as crack up your friends in playful banter.

Imagine telling the person who won't stop pestering you, "Away, you three-inch fool!" Or saying to your bestie who drank the soda you were saving, "You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” Or calling to your slowpoke kiddos in your best English accent, “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!”

There's just loads of fun to be had with Shakespearean insults, so choose some favorites to commit to memory and whip out unexpectedly when the occasion arises:

1. "How now, thou crusty batch of nature!"

– Troilus and Cressida (Act 5, scene 1)

2. “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”

Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)

3. "Thine face is not worth sunburning.”

Henry V (Act 5, Scene 2)

4. “Thou lump of foul deformity”

Richard III (Act 1, Scene 2)

5. “Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!”

The Two Gentlemen of Verona (Act 4, Scene 2)

6. “Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!”

King Lear (Act 2, Scene 2 )

7. “That poisonous bunch-back’d toad!”

Richard III (Act 1, Scene 3)

8. “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.”

Henry V (Act 4, Scene 4)

9. “Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!”

Richard III (Act 1, Scene 3 )

10. “Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows “

Troilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene 1)

11. "Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon."

Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)

12. "You, minion, are too saucy."

The Two Gentlemen of Verona (Act 1 Scene 2)

13. "I do desire we may be better strangers."

As You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2)

14. "I am sick when I do look on thee."

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Act 2, Scene 1)

15. "Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat."

Henry V (Act 4, Scene 4)

16. "His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard."

Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 4)

"Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!"

Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

17. "Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile."

Cymbeline (Act 3, Scene 4)

18. "Let’s meet as little as we can."

As You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2)

19. "He has not so much brain as ear-wax."

Troilus and Cressida (Act 5, Scene 1)

20. "Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."

King Lear (Act 2, Scene 2)

21. "I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee."

Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 4)

22. "That kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake."

Titus Andronicus (Act 3, Scene 1)

23. "Truly, thou are damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side."

As You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2)

24. “You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)

25. “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell”

Othello (Act 4, Scene 2)

26. “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.”

Richard III (Act 1, Scene 2)

27. “Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad.”

Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 3)

28. “Like the toad; ugly and venomous.”

As You Like It (Act 2, Scene 1`)

29. “I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.”

As You Like It (Act 3 Scene 5)

30. “Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”

Richard III (Act 1 Scene 2)

31. “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 2, Scene 3)

32. "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2)

(Yes, Shakespeare really did a "yo mama" joke.)

33. “Away, you three-inch fool! “

The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1)

34. “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!”

The Taming Of The Shrew (Act 5, Scene 2)

35. “You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 1)

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Norway banned smart phones in schools and it has been very good for young girls

Should they be banned in schools everywhere?

via Yan Krukau/Pexels

A group of students staring at their phones.

The Norwegian government is spearheading a significant initiative to prohibit students from having smartphones in schools. This move comes in the wake of compelling studies demonstrating the positive impact of removing these devices from students’ hands and allowing them to focus more on their learning.

The effects have been particularly beneficial for girls.

Over the past few years, smartphone bans have cropped up in several school districts throughout Norway, allowing researchers to study how the bans affected students. Sara Abrahamsson, a postdoctoral fellow at the Norwegian Institute of Public Health, analyzed students at 400 middle schools and found that the bans had psychological and academic benefits.

The Norwegian Institute of Public Health published the results.

1 Girls made fewer appointments for psychological help

The study found that there was a significant decrease in the number of visits that girls made to see a psychological specialist for mental health issues. “Relative to pretreatment this is a significant decline by almost 60% in the number of visits,” Abrahamsson wrote in the study.

2. Steep drop in bullying

The study shows that girls experienced a 46% reduction in bullying after smartphone bans were enacted and boys had a 43% reduction.

smartphone, smartphone ban, norway

Boys looking at memes on a smartphone.

via Max Fischer/Pexels

3. Improved grades for girls

The study revealed that introducing a smartphone ban at the beginning of middle school improved girls' GPAs and increased their chances of enrolling in an academic-oriented high school track versus a vocational study. On the other hand, the ban appeared to have no notable effect on boys’ GPA, teacher-assigned grades, or likelihood of pursuing an academic high school track.

4. The ban had a more significant effect on economically disadvantaged girls

The study found that the ban resulted in greater benefits for economically disadvantaged girls regarding academic performance, appointments for psychological symptoms and the probability of attending an academically focused high school.

The positive impact that the bans have on girls is significant, given the fact that studies show they’ve been the most deeply affected by the rise in mental health issues amongst young people that have coincided with smartphone adaptation.

One of the most disturbing trends is the dramatic rise in suicide rates among girls in developed nations.

smartphones in schools, norway, smartphone ban

Students taking a selfie in school.

via RDNE Stock Project

Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” and advocate for banning smartphones in schools, explained why smartphone use is more damaging for girls than boys.

“There is a special relationship between social media and girls,” Haidt told “The Reason Interview with Nick Gillespie” podcast. “When boys get together … they're likely to organize themselves into groups to compete [on multiplayer video games].”

“Girls are much more interested in talking about relationships. Who is on the outs with whom? Who's dating who? They have a more developmental map of the social space,” Haidt continued.

When there is conflict within peer groups, social media poses a much greater threat to girls.

“Boys' aggression is ultimately backed up by the threat of physical domination and punching or pain, " Haidt continued. “Girls' aggression is equal in magnitude, but it's aimed at relationships and reputation. It's called relational aggression. Video games, if anything, prevent boys from getting in fights. … The platform settles everything. But girls' relational aggression is amplified. The worst year of bullying is seventh grade. I'm really focused on middle school.”


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