If You Like Porn, It's Really Important You Watch This. If You Hate Porn, I'd Still Learn About It.

Adam Mordecai

This isn't only about porn, or lack thereof. It's bigger than that. When I talk about this in public, people roll their eyes and think there's no way it will affect them. But it's really kind of a big deal. So please, let these funny people explain why it's important so the government doesn't ruin everything for all of us? Please? Pretty please? There's a cat in it! And a guy in a horse mask! I'll make it worth your while, I promise.

All you need to do to help is go to this page and let the FCC know that what they're planning is maybe not a good idea. And maybe share this so other people can take action and let the FCC know that their ideas are awful? It's literally the least we can do, and it actually may have a real impact.

Emily: I'm taking you down, Darth Vadar.

Adam: Bruce, I am your father. Hi, I'm Adam.

Emily: And I'm Emily

Adam: We make funny videos on the Internet.

Emily: But soon we might not be able to.

Adam: That's because Net Neutrality is in jeopardy.

Emily: Net Neutrality is the principle that says ISPs, you know these assholes, can't discriminate between different types of traffic.

Adam: That means that whether you're a bedroom music producer, a couple with an amateur porn site, or just someone with a great startup idea

Entrepreneur: It's like Dropbox for your food.

Adam: Great idea. Hope it works out. You get access to the same users as Netflix, Facebook, and Amazon. On the Internet, anyone can succeed.

Emily: But, Americas ISPs want to set up a pay for play system where rich companies pay extra to get to those users first.

Bouncer: Cough it up

Hannah[SP]: I didn't really bring my wallet.

Bouncer: Back of the line. Let's go.

Adam: If this happens, instead of the wonderful playground of innovation it is now, the Internet will become like cable TV, where you can only get stuff that's been pre-approved by a bunch of old rich guys.

Oh, love what you're all doing. I'm also going to need you to lose the women and the ethnics; maybe consider getting a sexier cat in here and you know what, let's have Shia LaBeouf host the podcast. He would look great in headphones.

Emily: Ten years from now, your Internet bill could be a bigger fustercluck than your cable bill.

Our basic packages starts at $49.95. Our premium package, that includes YouTube, is $69.95 and if you want Wikipedia, that's $10 more a month.

Customer: I just want to Tweet about what the government's doing to my people.

Emily: Then you want our revolutionary package which is just $19.95, then after three months it'll be $29.95.

Adam: Now, you might be thinking, "Hey, isn't the government supposed to protect me from flagrant douche-holery like this?"

Emily: ... Unfortunately, the former chairman of the FCC, you know, the government agency that's supposed to protect you.

Mitchell Powell Impersonator: I'll protect you.

Emily: ... the cable industry's head lobbyist

Lobbyist: You caught us in bed together.

Adam: And, another former cable industry lobbyist is now the current head of the FCC.

Tom Wheeler Impersonator: I'll protect you.

Emily: How do they get away with this.

So we can't trust the FCC to make the right decision on their own. That's why we need to protect the Internet that we love.

Adam: The chaotic, awesome, often quite weird place where literally everyone's voice can be heard.

Emily: Everyone's

Adam: Just try and shut him up. Let's be honest, the free, open Internet is the greatest thing humanity has ever created.

Emily: Ever, right?

Group: Yeah!

Adam: But in a few months the FCC will approve this festering sore of a proposal unless we speak up.

Emily: The Internet is one of the few places where human voices speak louder than money so while that's still the case, let's use those voices.

Adam: Go to dearFCC.org and tell them to protect Net Neutrality.

Emily: Do it!

Adam: Do it now! We'll wait.

Emily: While you do, Chris here is going to play "Drunk In Love" on the theremin.

Adam: Done? Great! Thanks for doing your part to protect the Internet.

Emily: Now let's all watch George and Hannah have sex.

Adam: Oh, yeah.

Hannah[SP]: Thanks for watching!

George: ... subscribe for more videos.

There may be small errors in this transcript.

Next bit of Upworthiness:

Flash Video Embed

This video is not supported by your device. Continue browsing to find other stuff you'll love!

Hi there, internet friend. We need to talk. You're using a painfully old web browser, and frankly, it's getting a little weird. It's not safe, and we want the best for you. We think it's time to upgrade.

Download Google Chrome, and try it for a week. Don't think about it, just do it. You'll thank us later.