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A mother of 6 responds to 'Must be nice to have a husband who helps like that.'

I need to get something off my chest: It would be nice to live in a world where men took care of their children and it wasn’t considered exceptional.

I get it. Our society is still finding its way into gender equality. We are still fighting for equal rights for women. Traditionally, men were the breadwinners and women the caretakers. So this is a "new" thing for some of us, but as a society, we should be farther along than we are.

During prime working hours, my husband and I split the parenting duties as if we’re on our own. On the weekdays, it’s one parent on six.

I take the morning shift: cooking breakfast, fixing lunches, making sure kids brush their teeth and dress in appropriate clothing and get their shoes, walking them all to school, walking the three who aren’t in school back home, keeping twins out of mud and toilets, entertaining the baby, reading them stories, putting them all down for naps.


My husband takes over at 12:30 p.m., while they’re sleeping. When they wake, he wrestles with them and sends them outside to play and invites their friends over so there are 12 or 13 kids in the house (my anxiety just went through the roof) and makes the older kids do their homework. He knows where all the kids’ school papers go and he signs all their reading logs and he marks their behavior folders and he makes sure their lunch stuff gets put in the sink and washed for tomorrow. He feeds the baby and changes diapers and makes sure they clean up their toys before dinner so the house is somewhat tidy by the time the day is through and then he cooks dinner.

I appreciate all he does, but it is not exceptional. It's parenting.

People are shocked. “Must be nice to have a husband who helps like that,” they say.

But I wasn’t the only one who decided to have six kids. I was not the only participant either. Of course he helps so I can work too. My husband understands that I am a better mother because of my work.

When he’s watching the kids so I can hole up in my room and write a handful of essays, it’s not babysitting. When I go out once a month with my book club friends to talk about a book for all of five minutes and then talk about our lives for another three hours, and he’s with the kids, that’s not babysitting. When he decides to bake some chicken in the oven or organize some out of control papers or take the baby for a few hours while I get a little extra sleep, he’s not just "helping." He’s parenting.

Dads parent.

I’m glad we could set that straight.

This story first appeared on Mother.ly and is reprinted here with permission.

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But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

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Hollywood isn’t a place where people typically talk about their faith. In a world run by free-thinking creatives and people with secular, progressive values, those who hew to more traditional, conservative Christian beliefs tend to be less visible.

But Mark Wahlberg has no problem being vocal about his Catholic faith, which must be refreshing to the approximately 61 million Catholics in America.

Wahlberg spoke about the balance he has to strike between his private and professional life on the Today show on February 22, also known as Ash Wednesday to Christians. The “Boogie Nights” actor wore an ash cross on his forehead to commemorate the holy day.

“It’s a balance,” the 51-year-old actor said. “I don’t want to jam it down anybody’s throat, but I do not deny my faith. That’s an even bigger sin. You know, it’s not popular in my industry, but I cannot deny my faith. It’s important for me to share that with people. But, I have friends from all walks of life and all different types of faiths and religions, so it’s important to respect and honor them as well.”

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“I don’t force it on them,” he said. “But they know that Dad can’t start the day without being in prayer, can’t start the day without reading my Scripture or going to Mass. And hopefully, instead of forcing that on them, they’ll say, ‘Well, if it works for Dad, maybe it’ll work for us,’ and they’ll kind of gravitate towards it on their own.”

Wahlberg can keep his faith strong while dealing with the pressures of Hollywood thanks to his relationship with Father Flavin, a parish priest who helped him make drastic changes in his life. As a young man, Wahlberg was a high school dropout who had multiple run-ins with the law. But Flavin has helped him turn his life around.

“He’s been in my life since I was 13,” Wahlberg said of Flavin. “He married me and my wife and baptized all my children.” It's also believed that Flavin helps Whalberg choose his movie roles that “honor his religious roots.”

The “Father Stu” star says that his faith has helped him develop the discipline to be a successful actor.

"Discipline has always been important for me in life," he told Today. "Once I started getting into movies and transitioned from music, I realized I needed a lot of discipline in my life, and that discipline has afforded me so many other things. I’ve been rewarded for it so much, and I want to share that with people, whether that’s with fasting, working out more, detaching from other things and just spending more time with God, in prayer or in thoughtful reflection. Those things are important."

Wahlberg’s ability to live a life in alignment with his faith is noble in an industry that can easily challenge one’s moral compass. It’s also noteworthy that has chosen to live by example instead of being preachy and is accepting of those who may believe differently.


This article originally appeared on 2.24.23

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