DISCLOSURE: I have a daughter. Someday, she will grow up and become a young woman and probably want to date people. There's this awful lizard part of my brain that gets protective of her and imagines threatening others who might date her someday, 13 years from now. And while I get protective of my son too, I think differently about each. It's totally a hypocritical and ridiculous double standard. Because if you raise your kids right, they'll make mistakes but they'll be responsible and make good choices (hopefully). Their gender is irrelevant to that. So I want to acknowledge that I'm aware of my rampant hypocrisy. I'm a dad. I'm a jackass. I'm learning how to fight it and hold myself to a higher standard.
Which brings me to Jesse Parent, a dad who says all the things that probably every parent has dealt with. At 1:50, he disables his lizard brain. And at 2:42, he makes up for his first two minutes. Hilariously.
SATIRE WARNING: This contains satire. And satire.
JUST FYI: He is totally joking in this. He is in no way advocating violence. He's making fun of his own hypocrisy. As he wrote in our comments: "This is satire. It's cartoonish from the top. There is truth to that trope, and I am protective of my daughter, but to actually be like this would be a little crazy (granted, I lifted the tone from my dad... ) My daughter is tough and loving and wants to save the world. We talk... A LOT. And she has to decide when she is ready to offer her heart, same with my sons."