5 Things I'll Miss Most About Rick Santorum Now That He's Shifting Into Perpetual Irrelevance

Adam Mordecai
With the sad news that Rick Santorum is dropping out of the presidential race, we thought it might be good to remember all the ways we love him. From keeping Mitt Romney on the right side of the crazy train to telling women what to do with their lady bits, this guy was an amazingly out-of-touch, Bronze Age thinker with a delightful smile, a stunning sweater vest collection, and a brain full of horrible ideas we could always make fun of. Farewell Rick, you will be missed.
1. The dude could pull off sweater vests like it was his job.


2. Whether it was slut-shaming virgins or opposing the use of birth control in the year 2012, he always used that special Santorum Style™ to inflame ladies' hearts!


3. Bronze Age thinking in a handsome handsome package. And man, was he fascinated with porn.


4. He was way old-school Catholic, like Mel Gibson Catholic, like Spanish Inquisition Catholic, like anybody-who's-not-a-Catholic-is-not-even-a-Christian Catholic.


5. He was always an eternal optimist!




You should probably share this and tell everyone what your favorite thing about him was. Just sayin'.

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