+
upworthy
More

16 things you can do right now to advocate for women's rights and 4 you shouldn't.

Practicing intersectional feminism will make a more fair and just world for all.

So you’re a feminist? That's awesome!

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

Feminism has been one of the most invaluable tools of resistance against fascism, racism, and bigotry. The advocacy work of feminism from decades before has led to voting rights for women, abortion rights, bodily autonomy, and more.


But at its inception, feminism wasn't as inclusive as it could be. The needs of minority women, women of different sexualities and gender identities, and women who were not of the middle and upper class weren't lifted up.

Erasure of the stories of different types of women — all deserving of equality — inspired the concept of intersectional feminism.

The idea behind intersectionality is that women’s overlapping identities — such as race, religion, class, and sexual orientation — affect the way they experience oppression in varying levels of intensity.  

Photo by Andrew Cabellero-Reynolds/AFP/Getty Images.

Women are multi-layered, complex beings with varied identities. We must advocate for all to be able to life live free of the structural and systemic injustices that prevail.  

If we limit feminism to white, cisgendered, upper-middle-class women, we continue a violent cycle of white, heterosexual patriarchy that has made the lives of many unnecessarily difficult.

While there are many ways to become more intersectional in your feminism, here are a few steps to get you started.

1. Do stop and listen.

Listen to black women. Listen to Muslim women. Listen to trans women. Listen to lesbian women. Listen to women who are domestic workers.  

All of these women and more experience racism, classism, homophobia, and structural injustice in various ways. This year has brought an enclave of racism, hate crimes, and problematic practices to the U.S. government and our communities. The people most susceptible to the consequences of this culture are marginalized women. They have the right to be sad, disheartened, and pretty darn mad. Listen to their anger, their ideas, and the problems that are a part of their identity.        

2. Do study intersectional feminist history.

Kimberlé Crenshaw's essay on the intersection of race and sex is a great place to start. Or stop by your local library and look into the works of feminists scholars like Bell Hooks and Audre Lorde.

3. Don't whitesplain.

Whitesplaining is to explain something through the lens of whiteness, often condescendingly. Instead,listen to the experiences, ideas, and perspectives of marginalized women to understand what a more equal world looks like to them. It may be uncomfortable or you may disagree, but don't be defensive. Understanding the stories of the women around you without bias is integral to creating a truly equal world.

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

4. Do read books by intersectional feminists.

Audre Lorde’s "Sister Outsider," Bell Hooks’ "Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism," and Roxane Gay’s "Bad Feminist" are just a few of the many books available by badass women to get you started on your journey to becoming an intersectional feminist.    

Reading the work of feminist also assists in financially supporting the work of women that, systemically, often make less than white women for their work.  

Roxane Gay is one of the most well-known feminist writers and scholars. Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images.

5. Do pop that filter bubble.

You can find many women on Twitter that offer their words of wisdom, read articles on websites you don’t usually frequent, and look up information on topics that are new to you to expand you knowledge.          

6. Don't ignore hate speech — call people out.

When you hear a friend, family member, colleague, or significant other making problematic statements, say something.  

You don’t need to hold an hourlong lecture or break off ties with one another, but directly explain why what they said was problematic and the bigger picture behind their words. We often think that people can’t change, but many times, hearing something from a loved one rather than a social media account goes a pretty long way.

7. Do check out art from marginalized communities.

Art reflects life. It remains one of the most important and timeless outlets for human expression during politically charged times. Go to art shows that are curated by minority and women artists or that feature the work of those artists. Listen to music that discusses the challenges facing our world, and support minorities and LGBTQ musicians, painters, actors, and programming.  

8. Do update your media diet by following journalists of color.

Joy Reid, Dylan Marron, Franchesca Ramsey, and Melissa Harris-Perry all have shows, platforms, or social media venues that showcase the experiences of various women and how to best become an ally.

9. Do donate and volunteer with organizations practicing intersectional feminism.  

Planned Parenthood has received a plethora of donations (many in the name of feminism "favorite" Mike Pence), but they aren’t the only organization fighting the good fight for women all over the country. Sistersong: Women of Color Reproductive Justice, a Southern-based organization that works to get reproductive justice and human rights to women of color and indigenous women; Central American Legal Assistance, a New York firm that provides "free or low-cost service to immigrant communities"; and the Trans Lifeline, a hotline service run by transgender people for the needs of trans people, are all organizations that are inherently intersectionality feminist and in need of funds to continue fighting for the marginalized.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

10. Do hire women of color, trans folks, and non-binary people.  

Whether you’re a hiring manager, a teacher, or a community worker, use your space to advocate for the disenfranchised. This could mean hiring minorities and queer people, protesting in marches that advocate for the rights of communities you aren't necessarily a part of, and spending your money at minority-owned businesses.

11. Don’t speak for groups you don’t identify with.  

Trans women can speak for themselves, Latina women can speak for themselves, cisgendered minority women can speak for themselves, and so can every other human. Instead of trying to explain their experiences to other people, let them explain their experiences themselves. They've got this.      

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

12. Do remain politically active.

Keep track of how your representatives are voting by using apps like Countable and iCitizen to follow key issues that impact marginalized communities. Attend town hall meetings, call your congressmen, and be vocal when problematic policies are placed on the table.  

13. Do understand you'll make mistakes.

Sometimes, you may unknowingly say things that are problematic, myths, and outright wrong. Humans are flawed; it'll happen. But don't let that make you afraid to engage in dialogue out of fear of misspeaking. Instead, listen when someone corrects you, and work on being better and more understanding.    

14. Don't spend money with companies that back problematic politicians and policies.

Where you spend your money is a personal choice, but there are several popular companies known to either directly support politicians advocating for discriminatory policies or outright support discriminatory policies. Learn about the history of your favorite companies and the folks who are running it from the top, and use this information to make ethical and well-informed choices.

15. Do buy from companies that support organizations fighting the good fight.

A number of companies use proceeds from sales to support feminism, black people, and other marginalized groups. Support businesses owned by women, minorities, immigrants, and Muslims to financially counter anti-intersectionality.  

16. Do understand the lives of people with disabilities.    

Learn more about the struggles of people living with disabilities by visiting platforms like The Disability Visibility Project. DVP increases dialogue surrounding issues within the disabled community and leads readers to Twitter platforms and online spaces with key information about ways to help and be an ally.

It's also important to remain vigilant in watching what happens with the Affordable Care Act and how those living with disabilities could be affected by any changes to the law.  

17. Do fight for policies that benefit mental health programs.

Women are more likely to experience depression than men, and black women are experience major depression at higher rates than white women. With a rising percentage of hate crimes and uncertain policies ahead, it's imperative to support treatment and mental health programs for those affected most under oppressive policies.

18. Do know the news that affects trans and non-binary communities.

Know how bathroom laws, suicide rates, and poverty affect trans people. You can donate to organizations like The National Center for Transgender Equality, The Trevor Project, and The Human Rights Campaign to support trans kids, teens, and adults.    

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

19. Do support immigrant women.    

Supporting immigrant communities can range from doing activities like fighting against repealing Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) to hosting immigrants neighbors for dinner. Continue speaking out against police brutality and unethical deportation practices, and make sure to call out hate speech against immigrants.

20. Do live out your activism.    

Resist. Resist racist and homophobic laws. Listen to — don’t argue with — people who tell you that you’re doing hurtful and problematic things. Use your privilege in ways that assist others of different backgrounds.

By living an intersectional life, we give women from all identities and backgrounds the chance to thrive and make the future a brighter place for all.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

Family

Supportive husband writes a fantastic 'love list' to his depressed wife

“He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is."

Image from Imgur.

Husband shares a list of love with his wife.

Imgur user "mollywho" felt her life was falling apart. Not only was she battling clinical depression, but she had her hands full.

"I've been juggling a LOT lately," she wrote on Imgur. "Trying to do well at work. Just got married. Couldn't afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends, yaddadyadda.”

She was also upset about how she treated her new husband.

"I've not been the easiest person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I've lost all hope and even taken my anger out on my husband."



When she returned home from a business trip in San Francisco, mentally exhausted, she collapsed on her bed and cried. Then she noticed some writing on the bedroom mirror. It was a list that read:

Reasons I love my wife

1. She is my best friend
2. She never quits on herself or me
3. She gives me time to work on my crazy projects
4. She makes me laugh, every day
5. She is gorgeous
6. She accepts the crazy person i am
7. She's the kindest person i know
8. She's got a beautiful singing voice

9. She's gone to a strip club with me
10. She has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity i know
11. She has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time
12. Without realizing it, she makes me want to do more for her than i have ever wanted to do for anyone
13. She's done an amazing job at advancing her career path
14. Small animals make her cry
15. She snorts when she laughs

love letters, support, marriage, mental illness

The list of love.

Image from Imgur.

This amazing show of support from her husband was exactly what she needed. "I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me," she wrote. "Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today…"

She ended her post with some powerful words about mental illness.

"I'm not saying mental illness is cured by nice words on a mirror. In fact, it takes professional care, love, empathy, sometimes even medication just to cope. Many people struggle with it mental illness - more than we probably even realize. And instead of showing them hate or anger when they act out. Show them kindness and remind them things can and WILL get better. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. If that person can't be you - see if you have any resources for therapy."


This article originally appeared on 12.10.15

Pop Culture

Nicole Kidman shares the unconventional marriage rule she has with husband Keith Urban

They've had this communication rule since the very beginning of their 18 year relationship.

Keith Urban (left) Nicole Kidman (right)

Long before Nicole Kidman began her long-term relationship with AMC theaters, she was committed to husband and country singer Keith Urban. The two have happily been together since 2006—which is a good run for any modern day marriage, but most certainly a Hollywood one.

And perhaps their nearly decades-long success can be partially attributed to one surprising communication rule: no texting.

While appearing on the Something To Talk About podcast in 2023, Kidman shared that she was the one who initiated the unconventional agreement.

"We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way – I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me…"I wasn't really a texter.,” the “Moulin Rouge” actress shared.

She added that while Urban did attempt texting her a few items early on, he eventually switched when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. And now, 18 years later, they only call each other.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say. We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don’t text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times…I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she told Parade

.

There are, of course, some pros and cons to calling over texting. Research has shown that people who call feelmore connected to one another vs. texting, with the voice being an integral component of bonding. As our society becomes increasingly more distant and lonely, finding those moments might be more important than ever.

At the same time, calling can invoke a lot more anxiety compared to texting, which could lead someone to not communicating at all. Also, I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to call my partner for mundane things like “don’t forget the eggs” would drive me crazy.

But regardless of whether or not you adopt Kidman and Urban’s no-texting rule, perhaps the bigger takeaway is that relationship longevity depends on being able to establish your own rules. One that feels good and that each partner is able to stick to. Especially when it comes to communication.

As Urban himself told E! News at the CMT Music Awards, "I have no advice for anybody,You guys figure out whatever works for you…We're figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody's different. There's no one size fits all."

Luckily, there are many ways to have good text hygiene, without having to do away with it completely. Very Well Mind suggests to avoid texting too many questions, and to be respectful of your partner's schedule (probably best to not text them while they’re sleeping just to say “hey,” for example). Nor should texting be used to argue or deal with conflict. Lastly, probably save the lengthy, in-depth conversations for a phone call. Fifteen heart emojis are totally fine though.

Doris Alikado talks about her personal experience of maternal health in Tanzania.

True
Stella Artois


Bathrobe. Socks. Insurance card. Snacks.

Sound at all familiar? Maybe, maybe not.


These items would commonly be found on a checklist of things that expecting parents should bring to the hospital with them — in the U.S., anyway.

environment, health, health wellbeing

Doing the checklist.

Image created from Pixabay.

But what is that list like in other parts of the world?

For Doris, that list included water.

Doris, who lives Morogoro, Tanzania, had to bring her own water to the health center where she was giving birth in 2014. The water she brought was used to clean the nurse's hands, clean the delivery area, and wash the babies (she had twins!). Unfortunately, the water Doris brought ran out before she was able to wash herself or her clothes, so she had to wait 24 hours before cleaning herself.

parenting, parenting and children, Tanzania

Doris and family lives in Morogoro, Tanzania.

via GQ/YouTube

I'll let Doris tell the story herself:

Lack of access to clean water in Tanzania is a very big deal.

Everything turned out alright for Doris and her babies, but thousands of other women aren't as lucky. But there are ways to help: Organizations and individuals are pitching in to help build water taps, rainwater tanks, and latrines in Tanzanian hospitals, and they're making a huge difference.

"I want to express my gratitude to the health workers ... because they have a great sense of humor with the patients. But the problem is the availability of enough water." — Doris Alikado


This article originally appeared on 03.26.15

New baby and a happy dad.


When San Francisco photographer Lisa Robinson was about to have her second child, she was both excited and nervous.

Sure, those are the feelings most moms-to-be experience before giving birth, but Lisa's nerves were tied to something different.

She and her husband already had a 9-year-old son but desperately wanted another baby. They spent years trying to get pregnant again, but after countless failed attempts and two miscarriages, they decided to stop trying.


Of course, that's when Lisa ended up becoming pregnant with her daughter, Anora. Since it was such a miraculous pregnancy, Lisa wanted to do something special to commemorate her daughter's birth.

So she turned to her craft — photography — as a way to both commemorate the special day, and keep herself calm and focused throughout the birthing process.

Normally, Lisa takes portraits and does wedding photography, so she knew the logistics of being her own birth photographer would be a somewhat precarious new adventure — to say the least.

pregnancy, hospital, giving birth, POV

She initially suggested the idea to her husband Alec as a joke.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"After some thought," she says, "I figured I would try it out and that it could capture some amazing memories for us and our daughter."

In the end, she says, Alec was supportive and thought it would be great if she could pull it off. Her doctors and nurses were all for Lisa taking pictures, too, especially because it really seemed to help her manage the pain and stress.

In the hospital, she realized it was a lot harder to hold her camera steady than she initially thought it would be.

tocodynamometer, labor, selfies

She had labor shakes but would periodically take pictures between contractions.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Eventually when it was time to push and I was able to take the photos as I was pushing, I focused on my daughter and my husband and not so much the camera," she says.

"I didn't know if I was in focus or capturing everything but it was amazing to do.”

The shots she ended up getting speak for themselves:

nurse, strangers, medical care,

Warm and encouraging smiles from the nurse.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

experiment, images, capture, document, record

Newborn Anora's first experience with breastfeeding.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Everybody was supportive and kind of surprised that I was able to capture things throughout. I even remember laughing along with them at one point as I was pushing," Lisa recalled.

In the end, Lisa was so glad she went through with her experiment. She got incredible pictures — and it actually did make her labor easier.

Would she recommend every mom-to-be document their birth in this way? Absolutely not. What works for one person may not work at all for another.

However, if you do have a hobby that relaxes you, figuring out how to incorporate it into one of the most stressful moments in your life is a pretty good way to keep yourself calm and focused.

Expecting and love the idea of documenting your own birthing process?

Take some advice from Lisa: "Don't put pressure on yourself to get 'the shot'" she says, "and enjoy the moment as much as you can.”

Lisa's mom took this last one.

grandma, hobby, birthing process

Mom and daughter earned the rest.

Photo via Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

This article originally appeared on 06.30.16